In a country where elections are king, the MEP elections have simply given us one more excuse to get ourselves all hot and bothered.

Except for one little, bitty problem. This time round it seems that there is only a core group of individuals (most of them affiliated with the respective parties) who are getting that excited. The feelings of most of the people I speak to range from the “I really couldn’t care less” to “yeah, why not, I’ll probably vote”. This is not good news for the politicians who have always banked on the rising temperatures of election fever to get themselves elected. The extent of public apathy is reflected in just how desperate the parties seem to be to latch onto an issue, any issue, to whip us into the kind of frenzy that always guarantees a turnout of over 90 per cent.

While the candidates tirelessly blog and knock on doors (and update their Facebook profiles to tell us that they’re knocking on doors) and issue trite press releases, and turn up on every station that will have them – people appear to be resolutely unmoved and unimpressed. The harder the parties try to “get out the vote”, the more voters seem to be digging in their heels.

Everything seems to be pointing to a lower turnout than that of five years ago, which stood at 82 per cent. While this was considered a poor turnout by Maltese standards, it was the third highest in the whole of the EU. However, as was pointed out in a report of the 2004 MEP elections, prepared by Roderick Pace from the European Parties Elections and Referendums Network, “there is a tendency for higher participation rates when voters are voting in EP elections for the first time”.

In other words, it was a novelty; it gave us a bit of a thrill to think that Malta would be represented in the European Parliament right up there with all the big boys and girls.

Now that we’ve realised that the thrill is not really all that thrilling (our MEPs get to address the EP in Maltese, whoopee), we’ve all become jaded and frankly, highly sceptical of these candidates all assuring us that they will work in our best interests.

(The fact that the job comes attached with a nice, juicy pay packet, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with it.) The cliché of the gravy train has never been more glaringly obvious, and it does not help matters when you get someone like John Attard Montaldo pressing the wrong button when it comes to a crucial vote. It makes you grateful that he doesn’t have his finger poised on a button to launch a nuclear war.

The truth is that, to the average person, the benefits of having our own MEPS have just been too slow in coming. When they finally do trickle down to us, then we are subjected to the petty and incessant bickering between the respective MEPs as to who should be given credit for it. So, basically we have just transported our political partisan immaturity onto the European stage.

Finally, let’s not dismiss the real reason why a lot of people will be voting with their feet: never under estimate the power of the protest vote against the incumbent government. Sure, people will tell you the five MEPS will be voted into office with or without my vote, but at least this is my one chance to tell the government exactly what I think of its performance so far.

Foreign affairs

Why doesn’t the government want foreigners to vote? OK, technically it’s the Electoral Commission (made up of Labour and PN representatives) that has struck them off the elector register. But to the hundreds of EU citizens resident in Malta, it is immaterial who took this decision.

All they know is that the bureaucracy, the red tape and all the obstacles being put in their way to get back their vote are ridiculous, especially when the whole point of being members of the EU was that people would be treated in the same way no matter where they live within the member States.

And all I know is that when the Nationalist government wants to fast-track some new development, which might possibly get them more votes, pouf, like magic, it happens.

So I was just musing to myself... why would the two major parties strike foreign nationals off the register? Do the spies at Dar Centrali and Centru Laburista know something we don’t know when it comes to their voting preferences?

Then I chided myself for being so paranoid. After all, that would mean that there are databases on every single voter in Malta indicating their political leanings.

Burger time

This week President Obama stopped off during one of his busy days to have a burger, treating his staff to lunch as well. The media loved it, and gave him a lot of positive coverage because in these tough times, the fact that a President is seen as being “one of us” by buying a humble hamburger just reinforces that he is attuned to the people. It helps, of course, that Barack is just so cool that he can get away with anything. As a Sky anchorman pointed out, “Can you imagine Gordon Brown doing the same thing? He would be laughed at and the media would have a field day.”

Now, not too long ago, Joseph Muscat guilelessly told Lou Bondi that he wasn’t too fond of formal dinners... “if it were up to me, I’d prefer to go out for a burger.”

Predictably enough, this “burger comment” has been used against him and I wonder if he regrets being so honest. (“Me and my big mouth. Why couldn’t I have said I liked something more sophisticated?”)

Which just goes to show that when you’re popular you can do no wrong, but when people are after your blood, even eating a burger can make you into mincemeat.

Trekkie time

The Nationalist Party seems to be losing its edge when it comes to its marketing image. When I saw the PN billboard advertising its candidates for the MEP elections, it immediately reminded me of something, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

Then it hit me.

They looked like the crewmembers of the Starship Enterprise from Star Trek. So now, every time I drive by a billboard I’m tempted to stop my car and draw a speech bubble with that famous catchphrase, “Beam me up, Scotty”.

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