A grandmother told her nine-year-old granddaughter to bring her “school boyfriend” home. Once there, she took them to her bedroom and told them “how to make babies”. Later on she told the girl and the 10-year-old boy to practice what she had just explained to them. The grandmother left the bedroom and left the young children to ‘practise’. The case happened some 12 years ago and was never reported to the police.

This is just one of many shocking stories revealed to The Malta Independent on Sunday by Martin*, who has been running a youth centre for troubled teens in the south of the island for more than two decades.

Martin contacted this paper after we published a story on four 15-year-old girls who dared each other to get pregnant by the same man. The case was first revealed by Mgr Anton Gouder, the Curia’s Pro Vicar General.

But what shocked Martin was not the story itself but rather the fact that Mgr Gouder had revealed it. “I was shocked because I have been telling the Church, Mgr Gouder included, about horrific cases I encounter on a day-to-day basis. I have been asking for help for more than two decades. But my cries for help fell on deaf ears. And the problem has become much worse.”

 

Shocking stories that have fallen on deaf ears

“I have been taking care of young people who were so rebellious that other youth centres had rejected them. The reason why I welcome them and offer my help and support is because I believe that society is not taking the right approach. I pick these children up from the streets. Many of them live troubled lives because they were abused by their families or because of the extreme experiences they went through. You need only scratch the surface to find out the reasons behind their behaviour. And they need help and compassion, someone they can open up to, not police, arrests and court.”

The story about the sexually abusive grandmother is a case in point. “I got to know the story from the girl’s sister, who I also welcomed to the centre. These children can tell all sort of horrific stories. No wonder that they are misguided later in life.”

During the past two decades Martin has dealt with cases of child abuse and cruelty, torture, drug abuse, bullying and many other situations.

 

One married him, the other had his baby

Teenage pregnancies are not uncommon, says Martin, who can recount at least two cases of 13-year-old girls getting pregnant. He remembers one particular case where two girls fell in love with the same man and were in a relationship with him for a number of years. “They were best friends and they shared everything. He loved them both and they both wanted to marry him, but they could not, for obvious reasons. In the end they agreed that one of them would marry him and the other would have a baby with him. They did, and they remain best friends to this very day. These are real stories.”

Martin has also given refuge to young people that roamed the streets, vandalising playgrounds and other places. He has also dealt with groups who congregate in deserted areas, such as garage complexes and get up to all sorts of mischief. “They share everything, even girls. Girls who refuse to participate in sexual activities are shunned and bullied but they are always urged to go back to the group, for fear that the girls would tell on them. I am speaking about 12 to 15-year-olds.”

Martin mentions another case – a 13-year-old girl who was left at home on her own for two weeks when her mother went to London with her boyfriend and her father went to Gozo with his girlfriend. And of a young mother who ended up living with her three young sons in a car, inside a small garage. In yet another case, a young boy was being sexually abused by his uncle, with whom he used to live. And in another, a girl was dragged out naked from the shower and beaten black and blue by her parents, for no apparent reason. Martin also recalled the case of a young woman who went missing. It later turned out that her uncle had “abducted” her and locked her up in his Valletta home.

 

‘You have to go down to their level, become their friend’

So how does one deal with such troubled young people. For Martin, the answer is simple. “You have to give them a chance and not judge them. My method is simple; I go down to their level. I become their friend, someone they can speak to. Many times they open up to me and reveal these shocking stories.”

From then on, Martin tries to help them as much as he can, primarily by encouraging them to attend a youth centre. “We give them talks, show them videos, teach them manners and give them the opportunity to socialise with their peers. We do get therapists and other professionals to help them.” On some occasions, the teenagers get up to mischief even at the centre, but they are dealt with in a friendly yet firm manner, and shown the right way. “You have to be understanding. How can these kids give you something they do not possess?”

 

We paved the way for a new generation of troubled teens

According to Martin, today’s young people have become more troubled, mainly because society has been dealing with their issues in an inappropriate way. “These youths should not be taken to court and punished. They should be given all the help they can get. But that is often not the case.”

The police, according to Martin, are not tackling the problem in the right way. “Arresting these youths and shaming them is not the correct way. Besides, these kids are not really afraid of the police. They challenge authority because they have not been taught discipline.” Church youth centres are also not tackling the problem and the most “messed up” teens usually get kicked out. And society in general is also “pushing these kids away”.

Martin says that people like him have been telling Church and state authorities about the shocking cases they encounter on a day-to-day basis for a number of years, but nothing has been done. A new generation of troubled teens has cropped up because the children of 20 years ago have grown up and have their own children who, in many cases, are following in their parents’ footsteps.

 

Youth centres need recognition and support

Youth centres like the one run by Martin are undertaking a very difficult task, but they also have to deal with very limited financial support. People like Martin are not easy to find. They are dedicated to helping troubled young people and have been for most of their lives. They do not want the Church and the government to take over completely because they love doing what they do and, given the chance, they would probably keep doing it to the end. What they need is recognition for the sterling work they do every day and adequate support, including financial assistance, a proper and safe place to work from and help from professionals. Above all, the Church, the government, the police and society need a change in mentality in order to ensure that these troubled youths are given a chance to live a decent life.

 

*name has been changed to protect identity of the person