*Angela, 45, married with two sons

My husband has worked for an offshore company since we first met so I knew what I was getting into. In fact, we met while he was on his summer break in Malta. The first years were not easy but the distance made us appreciate each other more.

When he came to Malta for a short holiday, we spent every minute together. Every hug, kiss and even simply holding my hand meant everything. After marriage, and especially after our sons were born, things were not so easy and exciting as before. When he came home, he tried to make up for his lost time with our sons and they obviously took up 100% of his attention.

I still miss him a lot but my sons now keep me busy and time seems to fly nowadays. I think this happens to even normal relationships, not just »  to long-distance ones like mine. We speak nearly every day through Skype and we exchange photos continuously, so he seems to be present.

Regarding our sexual activity, well, now we don't consider this as such a need. My closest friends say that I should worry about him not being too keen, but I know my husband well and spending time altogether is what he always looks forward to.

*Michael, 36 years, married with two children

My wife is currently studying and has to travel nearly every month for a whole week at a time. Ours cannot be exactly described as a long-distance relationship, but during the weeks she is not at home, I do my best to go on normally. She is pursuing these studies with my agreement and support and whenever she speaks about feeling guilty I do my best to encourage her, saying that it will soon be over. I admit that I miss her presence and yes, I also miss her intimately.

During the weekend before she leaves, we always go on a date and our children sleep over at their grandparents' homes. This quality time together is important for us and I recommend it to all other couples. It helps not only to strengthen our relationship, but in my case to reassure her that I support her.

While she is abroad we communicate daily through Skype and the children look forward to telling her about their days at school.  When they go to sleep, I call her again so we have a quick chat, just for us alone. Parents know that at times it is difficult to find five minutes to just to talk to each other. During the days she is abroad, we find more time to speak intimately.

Some people might criticise my wife for leaving her family for a week at a time, but I fully support women who pursue their careers and I step in to help with everything.  After all, family commitments must be shared, and it is this that makes everything work.

*Jennifer, 23 years, in a relationship

My boyfriend is currently doing a placement with the Army in a European country. We have only been together six months, and he's been abroad these last four months. I miss him terribly since he can't communicate that often. Whenever I receive a message or an email from him, I keep re-reading it over and over again. Then during the days of complete silence, my mind fills up with doubts.

Comments from certain people really don't help. Some joke that people in the army are never faithful and this really hurts. I never express these doubts to him, especially since he is not having an easy placement there. I don't want to burden him with my suspicions.  Before he left, we spoke about this relationship which was only in its initial weeks and he appeared committed.

We never had sex before he left, and now I am looking forward to his first visit here. More than looking forward, I am excited to see his reaction and to see where things will end up going. It's hard especially during the weekend when all my friends go out to have fun.  Ironically, I discovered once more the serenity of spending time with my parents who are supporting this relationship to the full.

 

A&H says.....

Long-distance relationships can work if both parties agree about the way things are heading.

•  Avoid excessive communication. Couples who live close to each other don't spend hours texting or speaking on the phone. It's nice to send a 'good morning' and 'good night' message daily. These messages confirm that you woke up thinking of your partner and you want to think about him/her before you close your eyes. 

•  View the distance between you as a journey to go through. Take it as a test for your love. The distance can make your love stronger.

•   Sending a sexual message now and then also helps to spice up the situation and to make your partner feel desired. Sex is not only a biological need, but it is also an emotional one, so these types of message will help to keep the flame burning.

•  Even though you are apart, try to avoid dangerous situations. If you know that your friends are going out drinking and you know how the evening will end up, it is better to avoid going. If you are fully committed to your partner, control yourself. It is always a good idea to inform your partner of your plans so that they feel reassured. Avoid putting your partner in a position where they feel helpless and excluded.

•  Try to do things together, like watching a video on Youtube while commenting on it through Skype.  This will help decrease the sense of distance between you.

• Plan visits to each other as often as possible. These visits will help you to share things which couples can normally take for granted but which mean the world to you, such as holding hands, kissing, going for a walk or sharing an ice-cream on the beach.

•  Talk about the future. A relationship can't remain long-distance forever, so you should plan the future and set dates for when you will live together. It is important to keep to these deadlines so set realistic ones.