Leah, written by Zhana Xuereb with Maria Mifsud, is the story of the little girl with a big smile who captured the hearts of a nation. The story of her life and struggle with one of the rarest forms of cancer, is told by her mother, Zhana Xuereb, who lived and shared every moment of her ordeal.
It is an emotional and heart-rending narration of the trials and tribulations faced by this little girl's, and the pendulum alternation of states of hope and of despair.
It's a story of a great loss, but of an ever greater love, a love that survived and surmounted the greatest tragedy.
A note from author Maria Mifsud:
There are encounters in life that leave a huge impact on us forever. Encounters that just occur and are certainly meant to be. I believe that during each and every single day of our existence we are faced with various options all the time and therefore must choose: shall I move on? Shall I spend my days feeling miserable? Shall I accept daily life's messages and learn from such encounters? Shall I be thankful and appreciative each and every morning when I wake up? Shall I live my life to the full no matter what circumstances crop up and move on accordingly? Shall I learn from my past mistakes and reason Tomorrow is another day?
Such choices depend entirely on us. We are individuals with potential within and must acknowledge this in believing in ourselves. Please do understand that no one else can live your life - Only YOU can do so - I love this quote by Pope John II: "Pick up your life and do a masterpiece with it."
I have personally opted for a positive approach. I am certainly not of the opinion that life is only a bunch full of roses. Far away from this. Indeed, it can be excruciating sometimes. However I believe in a personal development school that sometimes needs a top up...a mix of meditation, self evaluation, prayers and an abundance of gratitude. I feel so much blessed when once in a while I look back instead of forward and just appreciate Thank you Lord.
My encounter with Jonathan and Zhana Xuereb, Leah's parents occurred on separate occasions. Both impressed me instantly in a different manner. My meeting Jonathan was on Airmalta flight to Malta from London way back in November 2011. It was the period when Leah was having treatment at Great Ormond Street Hospital. I was on the flight with my husband Joe returning home after the first laying of the foundation stone of the new premises of Puttinu Cares by Dr George Abela, President of Malta at the time. My seat was a middle one and Jonathan was sitting right next to me. I noticed that he was shaking his legs constantly, looked nervous, lost in thought with his hands on his head, tired...so tired. Excuse me, are you afraid of flying? I felt immediate concern No. I feel so tired. I just left my wife and daughter at the hospital here as I have to return back to Gozo for work. My little daughter is sick. She is two years old. My heart went out for him and my thoughts were for his wife and the little girl. What is her name? I just loved the answer Leah. We spent the next hours talking constantly and did not even realise that in the meantime we had landed home.
One thing that is very important to me is that I do not want to just exist. I do not want to be oblivious to other's people situations, sufferings and pain. I realise that we are all human and very much in the same boat during the journey of life. According to me who does not realise so is indeed failing miserably and thus wasting such precious time. I believe that in order to have a more emphatic world we need to first of all open our hearts to others, equip oneself within in order to start being effective and indeed making a visible difference. If each and every one of us does so this world would be such a better place full of goodwill, respect, love and hope. And please do not expect anything in return - just do your best! I am confident that after reading this book which you chose to procure you will opt to follow this route. I augur you this from the bottom of my heart.
The story of Leah Xuereb literarily stole the heart of the Maltese nation as the little girl fought cancer for four years. She stole my heart too and I used to follow her updates accordingly and of course praying for her.
My encounter with Zhana is one that I will treasure all my life. It was indeed an encounter of two souls. It was on Sunday 30th March 2015 at 10.00am. Leah's little corpse had been taken away to Gozo hospital. My husband, Joe, was organising Leah's funeral which was going to be held the following Tuesday. Everything was happening fast and there was a lot to be done. At first I resisted going to Zhana's house and instructed him to go ahead without me as I would wait for him in the car. I was petrified that I would not be able to control myself. I know my weaknesses. There was something however that made me face this and thus overcoming such feeling of cowardness.
Zhana was in the living room. Although her grief was so evident she was very much calm, composed and holding Jonathan's hands. She looked at me, stood up to approach me and we.......we just embraced ...for a very long time..... without both uttering a word. There are moments when words are not needed at all. In this embrace I felt huge love, warmth, self control, dignity, loads of courage and so much inner peace. Oh beautiful Zhana! At this point I have no words to describe everything that you are....coming from Bulgaria to Gozo, marrying Jonathan, having Leah and so much loved by all the nation. I vouch it...you are a precious rare diamond, unique, special and so worthy! You were handpicked by God. Nothing happens without a reason. You gave birth to Leah for a reason. Both you and Jonathan remain her parents - nothing ever can change this.
There were other members of her extended family. Everybody was mourning in their own way and viewing pictures and newspaper cuttings of Leah. It was still so early. Although not physically there, Leah's presence was still very much in the house. It broke my heart to see her toys and drawings staggered around. Daddy Jonathan was staring at the kitchen wall....Look Maria. She was getting taller and taller. I used to measure her marking her on that wall . I looked in the direction that he was showing me and indeed there were different pencil markings and I imagined his beloved Leah there. She was a little soldier. He told me that although they are certainly not doctors they always noticed that doctors were always consulting about Leah's illness They used to have and carry boxes full of files about Leah. Witnessing this always made us realise that Leah had something very rare. My husband suggested a book eventually to be published later on. Zhana immediately showed delight and agreed but admitted that she needed help in doing this. There was pure utter silence - all of them were looking at me. Oh dear what am I supposed to do? I was tomato red - more silence. If you need any help....That was it! I was on board and at this point Nanna Tona suggested that I should read during the funeral too....Although scared I felt privileged and wore a white dress with flowers for the occasion. I knew that it was their wish and I complied accordingly.
Time passed and I excused myself and explained that I had to go to Gozo Hospital as I was a blood donor and was due to donate blood. There was the mobile blood unit there and I did not want to miss it. Zhana just stared at me What is your blood type? I told her. Oh my God and she came to embrace me once again Leah had the same blood type. She used to have so many transfusions and seeing all those bags given by donors...I always prayed God to grant me the opportunity to meet a donor who had the same blood type so that I thank them! I tried to donate blood but I was told that i was incapable to do so. All this was getting more incredible by the minute. I must appeal at this point If you can and are healthy please do donate blood. You are donating the gift of life. Charity is not always about donating money.
Following started five months of Zhana and Maria. I must confess that sometimes it was hard - there were moments when I was encouraging Zhana to jot down her feelings and to think about Leah whilst acknowledging such a delicate psychological circumstance- it was such an early stage - mourning, pain and grief. So many emotions. Thank you Zhana for being so amazing, complying in a perfect manner, very organised .... You are one of a kind so caring and full of love. I felt also an enormous responsibility all the time as I wanted that this incredible mother to be happy with the work, but at the same time protecting her from getting more hurt with memories of Leah especially during treatments and the operation. After all Zhana is Leah's mother - a bond forever - and I was just an instrument to help in passing her very powerful message in favour of love and life.
As you go through Zhana's and Jonathan's experiences you will realise that no man is an island and when we help each other the burden some how is less or at least relieved. Family is not only blood related. Far from it! I cannot not refer to Puttinu Cares and all other organisations who are vital for the families in such difficult circumstances and to use Zhana's term in this boat that no parent wishes to ride. Please continue to help and do not judge and here I must quote nanna Tona Tahqruhomx lit-tfal!
Both Zhana and myself promised to produce a positive book; this is not only's Leah's testament but a message to all of you to love and protect children. Do show them all the beauty they possess inside, give them a sense of pride. We discussed a lot; priceless conversations, emails and telephone calls. Zhana and I had our regular quality time as we used to call it and both looked forward so much to this. Our friendship is sealed forever and God granted me with another sister. We had the same wavelength and were indeed soul mates in this formidable writing journey. So much fruitful thoughts; tragedies do happen but these must be overcome to produce something positive as daring as may it seem. Let us help each other. Let us make an effort to share.
For me this was indeed a self rewarding experience - God was with me all the way and using me to help these parents to deliver their message. I learned a lot from both Zhana and Jonathan. You are amazing, courageous, determined, formidable caring parents. You are real heroes and indeed a good example especially in today's society were children's feelings are not being given the priority they deserve. I came across this recently In order to understand life better, ask children questions and pay attention to their answers! Food for thought. During the past five months I managed to get in Leah's perspective and perception of life....actually Leah gave me such joy for life, so much thrill and excitement! This little girl was a bubble of energy and enthusiastic in her daily life. I got contagious by Leah in such a sweet way. She brought me back to childhood, causing me to smile. There were moments when I literarily felt her during my writings especially late at night. I cannot describe this but Leah was with me during this process. The following thoughts by Mother Theresa sounds perfect in this context How can there be many children? That is like saying that there are too many flowers. Leah indeed was a flower, beautiful, unique, delicate, particular and pure.
Writing is indeed power but in this book there is another power, The power of love. If we do not believe in the latter we cannot believe in life per se. God is known to be always present in simple things - this book is super simple, humble,....so please search God in it too....I felt him with me especially during the last chapters. This was not Zhana, this was not me, this was Leah chosen by God.
Copies of Leah are available from www.kitegroup.com.mt. Proceeds will go to Puttinu Cares.