The heating is up and running in my apartment but nevertheless I am feeling cold. It has been a long day, one Brussels, or rather Belgium, will never forget. And neither will I. It was a triumphant day for the Islamic State, or so they think. At 16.30hrs GMT I received a notification that they were responsible for the attacks in Brussels. Am I surprised? Of course not. Shocked? No. Afraid? Never. I will not fear them.
I have been expecting this since the terrorist attacks that hit Paris, my beloved home for five years. That day touched me. I wept for those lives lost. I could have been the one at the concert, or dining at a restaurant where the incidents took place. I was warned by those dear to me, warned that they could hit Brussels, my current hometown. And today they did. Mercilessly, they bombed the airport and the metro station, Maelbeek, a few metres away from my apartment.
7.50am, 22nd March 2016, Departures check-in lounge, Zaventem Airport, Brussels : A day, like any other day, bustling with people, men, women and children, checking in, looking forward to their holiday destination, away from their normal routine of work, school, stress ... enter some guys, who would ever guess they were suicide bombers, then, boom, they blow themselves up amongst all those innocent lives. I have seen countless scenes of this on TV today. For some their lives have changed forever. They lost their loved ones. There they were, looking forward to meeting their loved ones, going on holiday ... The death toll kept going up. I felt helpless in front of the TV. Paralysed more than anything else ...
My flight back home to Malta was due this evening. At this point in time I wasn’t thinking of the fact that I was stuck here in Brussels, or that my flight was cancelled. I was thinking of those lives lost. Precious lives.
Then it hit very close to home. Maelbeek station, a few metres away from my apartment. A station I use on a very frequent basis. Admittedly, I did not feel or hear anything, but a dear friend of mine was just across the station as she was making her way to work when the bomb went off, and, as she recalled, the scene was terrifying. People were rushing out of the metro station in masses, all in an inexplicable fear. From the news all I could make out was that there was an explosion in one of the train cabins that stopped in Maelbeek, causing mayhem in the metro station, along with a number of loss of lives. The station is now a total loss, so I have been told ...
What has Daesh gained from all of this? Is this what they wanted? Loss of lives? Loss of innocent people? A feeling of fear? What are they after?
I know what they want. They want us to live in fear. They want to destroy humanity. They want to destroy life, innocent people. They want to manipulate us, our lives. Yes, they want us to live in fear.
They have changed the lives of many in Brussels today, just as they did back on 13 November 2015 in Paris. Those lives lost, their relatives going through the pain, the bereavement, questions asked, never to be answered.
I wept tonight, I keep asking what has this world come to? This is madness. As a mother my duty is to protect my son. How? The moment I see him off on his school bus my mind races. What if this, what if that? That innocent beautiful face that waves to me on his way to school, will I see him alive again? Why have we reached this stage?
I wrote in a previous article that the moment national security will lower its levels in Brussels and relax, that is when we should start to worry. I knew it, and I wasn’t the only one. It happened. It happened today 22 March 2016 at the Airport in Zaventem and again in Maelbeek.
I could keep on writing but I want to pass on a message to everyone. Keep strong. Walk with your head up high. Never show your fears to these people. I will never give them that satisfaction and no one should. My life will go on as it has throughout these years. These attacks can only make us stronger and tougher.
I have so much to thank for the fact that my flight was only due this evening and not this morning. But at this point in time I am relieved my young brave son is home in Malta safe and sound.
My heart goes out to all those who lost their loved ones here in Brussels today. No words can express what agony they must be going through right now.
I thank all my dearest ones for being exceptionally supportive throughout the day. You all know who you are.
Finally, to all my Belgian compatriots, please be safe, stay strong, we will overcome this...