The Maltese festive season is synonymous with panto, and panto is synonymous with Grande Dame Alan Montanaro, who, this year, is once again treading the MFCC boards as the titular role in the MADC’s annual Christmas offering, ‘Un-Believe It!’. The Malta Independent met with the actor whose myriad panto appearances have earned him the nickname of “Pantonaro”, and whose characters on stage have made him one of the best-loved local performers on the island.

Who is directing and writing the show?

Nanette Brimmer is directing this year. I had finished writing the script in March, which is quite early for Panto. But, the thing is, I think I’m a much better writer when I’ve got a clear vision of something that I really enjoy.

Un-believe-it is based on ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, but we’ve obviously had to panto-fy it tremendously. I mean it now has two villains and a man in drag for heaven’s sake!

Why Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?

It’s just a great panto story; you’ve got good versus evil, the magic and children. I remember watching it as a child and being petrified by the child catcher, just like everyone. He’s an absolutely great pantocharacter, there was even a time when I honestly considered playing him myself!

To be honest with you, and with my hand on my heart, I think it’s one of the better ones I’ve written, but you never know how it’s going to translate on stage, there’s a lot of technical stuff with the car but I think with the lights, the smoke and the music we’ll be able to get that magic feeling across.

Which part of the production are you most looking forward to?

I’m looking forward to the flying car, but I’m still petrified that it doesn’t work. But to tell you the truth I’ve always loved the scene with the kids.

So do you edit the story throughout the year?

Definitely, if you came to watch it tomorrow and on the final night you’ll find there are a lot of things that are added and removed .In fact, I added a line yesterday. I was always make it a point that my scripts are always fluid. The script needs to be changed, it has to move on with the times, that’s what satire is, otherwise you’re script would feel dead, and I’d like to think that my scripts always try to be fresh.

Humour is a challenge for any script writer, how do you manage to make a whole theatre laugh?

I don’t find it too difficult, of course it is a challenge, but the thing is, the dame, or at least the part of the dame that I play, I find that’s it is easy to make people laugh, I say anything in Maltese or I twist something in English, people are going to laugh; and if I’m honest the humour practically writes itself in today’s environment.

Ironically, I’m not really able to change the dame I’ve created. I’ve created a bit of a monster if I tell you the truth. Everytime I’ve tried to diversify, even when I’ve played the villain, people still told me they preferred the dame.

I think the reason behind this is that we all know someone a little like that, who’s larger, louder, straightforward, loveable and a bit naïve.

Also when you’ve got a good cast, the humour flows from everywhere. I always tell the cast that if you’ve come up with something funny, propose it, and we’ll put it in.

Maltese humour can be quite vulgar and on-the-nose sometimes, how do you manage to include more dark and nuanced material?

I grew up on British humour, on a diet of ‘Morecambe and Wise’, ‘Faulty Towers’ and ‘Are you being served?’. I have wonderful memories of sitting down with my family watching these TV shows. I did grow up on British humour but I respect Maltese humour, and I like to think that I have married the two. I think it’s a recipe that works, a bit of with and a bit of theatrics.


Are you ever worried about offending anyone?

No, I’m never worried. My intention is never nasty, and whatever I’m referencing is either in the paper or out there. Nor am I going to talk about something that people are too sensitive about. There have been a couple of on stage incidents but nothing too grave.

Given the last couple of years in Maltese politics, do you think that the show has gotten more satirical?

I think it’s such an easy trap to fall into. Are there any political jokes? Ofcourse, it is panto afterall. But any more than usual?Definitely not. I think we’ve had enough of politics by the end of the year, and there are other things we can all laugh about. I refuse to just mention a politician’s name just for the sake of it. There are a couple mentioned, but I’d like to think I use them cleverly. I think after what I went through at the beginning of the year, everybody was expecting to me to attack politically, but to tell you the truth I’m not that kind of person, I’m don’t really care about payback.

Why ‘Un-Believe It’?

I’m quite chuffed that ‘un-believe it’ became a word, and I don’t know how that happened. I had first heard it when I was buying groceries at a local grocer in Siggiewi, there was this woman and I’m sure she wanted to save ‘unbelievable’ and ‘I don’t believe it’, and she just said ‘un-believe it’. At first, I didn’t take notice, but after she said it about four or five times I just thought to myself ‘This is Brilliant!’. It was around Christmas time and I just put it on stage, and the people loved it, so I put it in the script. Then I started reading it online, and when we were struggling for a title we decided to go with, I hope it works!

Do you find a lot of inspiration on the street?

I do, but also from the people around me.  I guess I work like a dog, with my school and charity commitments, but I’ve very lucky to have a tight knit group of friends, and whenever we meet, we just talk rubbish for hours on end. I’m sure if people saw us they’d think we were having a really interesting conversation, but little do they know it’s just total rubbish. And just as you think we’ve reached the lowest level of smut, we’ve somehow managed to find a new level!

We just joke around to let off a bit of steam, so we could face another week of work.

I definitely get some jokes and ideas from them, also my mother, who bless her at 89 is still one of the funniest people I know, she’s got the best one liners, and can knock anyone dead with her tongue.

How did you come to create your dame?

I’ve also always had a fascination with burlesque and the theatre of the absurd and grotesque, thanks to my mother. After MADC left the Manoel Theatre, I decided to reinvent the dame, I did away with the typical make up and costume and went more drag. I think that’s worked, it’s really great fun, and I think there’s a drag queen in all of us. I guess I keep up the tradition but I explore.

I guess I’m not the ugliest dame in the world, and people are always talking about my legs, in fact the skirts have only gotten shorter and shorter!

And to be honest, if anyone says it’s shocking, believe me it’s not, not by a long shot.

As one year moves onto the next, do you ever miss her?

I don’t miss her, but she’s really really good fun, and I feel so much love when I’m on stage it is incredible. But she’s tiring and takes up a lot of my energy, so what usually happens once panto is finished, I either get sick or I go abroad.