“I have learnt a lot through this experience. My cancer has given me a deeper appreciation for my family and the people who are part of my life,”says Ethel Vento Zahra, a dentist, lecturer and mother who has been living with cancer since 2015.
Ethel told The Malta Independent that she had and her family have been trying to settle into a “new normal” – a life of juggling work and motherhood whilst also receiving chemotherapy.
She speaks about how hard it is to explain her situation to her young daughter and how, despite the odds she tries to ensure that life for her girl remains as normal as possible.
Ethel explains how her life is planned three weeks in advance due to chemotherapy appointments, but the family still tries to take advantage of being more spontaneous - how from being an independent 39-year-old she has to endure test results, changes in medication and the burden of waiting for results.
She also speaks about the hard work of all the people behind the Malta Community Chest Fund Foundation, which has been helping her with the extremely expensive cancer treatment, adding that donations should not just be given during Christmas time but all year around, since at the end of the day patients do not just need treatment or support during the festive period but all year round.
Ethel first went for a check-up in when she realised she had a lump in her breast back in August 2014. “I got it checked out and the ultrasound looked normal and I was told that there was nothing I had to worry about, until June of the following year when started bleeding from the same breast.”
Ethel was diagnosed with a pre-cancerous lesion, which still required treatment and surgery to remove the whole breast. Once she received the results of the pathology report, a small part of the breast which was removed had become cancerous, and therefore Ethel needed treatment.
What followed was a year of chemotherapy and IV infusion, which left Ethel exhausted but believing that everything what treated. “Last year I slipped and hurt my back badly and it was not getting any better. After some tests, it emerged that the cancer had spread to the bones and some organs, and that this time round I needed much more treatment.”
Ethel explained the type of treatment she now takes every three weeks, along with a CT scan every three months. “The treatment I take is to control the hormones which respond to my tumour, not technically chemotherapy, but a monoclonal antibody drug to stop the tumour from growing and spreading.”
This type of treatment is not supplied by the Government but by the Malta Community Chest Fund Foundation (MCCFF). She explained how MCCFF provides her with this monoclonal antibody drug, which is a treatment which is only provided during Stage Four cases. The drug’s job is to try and control the cancer, yet it also comes along with various side effects, affecting various organs such as the heart, lungs and liver.
She says it is a difficult experience to explain, “taking a drug trying to control the side effects of one illness, you are increasing the risk of other. Many don’t realise that it is not just about how well the cancer is being controlled but it is also how the drugs are affecting the rest of your body.”
Living the ‘new normal’
Ethel says that now she and her family are living the “new normal”, which includes a new and different routine which took some getting used to. The routine involved her to going for treatment, getting tested and waiting for test results. The hardest part of getting used to this new normal is making sure that Ethel’s six-year-old daughter’s own routine remains normal.
“She was only three years old when I was first diagnosed. Looking back it was probably easier the first time round as the treatment was not something constantly ongoing. This time around it was more difficult as the area where the cancer had spread to included the hip, which mean that I needed help to get out of bed for a good two to three months.”
“The hardest part is explaining to my daughter about my cancer and treatment, and I can only tell her so much which I feel is age appropriate and what she can cope with. It’s all a learning process.’ She said that even though she might not tell her daughter she would be going for treatment, her daughter notices the smallest shifts in routine, like when her husband accompanies their car ride to school, as he would then join Ethel to the hospital for treatment or tests. She said that her daughter noticed that before she was a very busy, active and independent character and then all of a sudden she wasn’t.
The trials of balancing life, work and treatment
The reality is that cancer has touched every family’s life some way or another, so people know what it is like from their own different experience. For Ethel, the most important thing is to continue living life as normally as possible, not just for herself but for her partner, daughter and the people who have become part of an extended family.
Whilst going through chemotherapy, Ethel could not go to her clinic since her immunity was very weak, yet she said that she had been able to keep up with certain paper work and research from home, without seeing patients.
She also managed to keep attending lecturers so that her students were able to keep up with the scholastic year.
“I am grateful for my family members and friends who would offer to drive me to my appointments and lectures.” Ethel said that this summer she started working at her dentistry clinic again, where she is able to meet clients and patients. She enjoys meeting her clients and the process of work helps her to keep her busy and her mind off the treatment.
“It is tricky to plan in advance due to my treatment and appointments, and now I plan my life in three-week slots; and when an appointment has to be moved or is cancelled it does frustrate me slightly.”
Regardless of the nuisance of planning everything in advance, Ethel said that this September she and her family managed to go on a short holiday. “It is a time which we can spend together to recharge and enjoy one another during the hustle and bustle of everyday life.”
Also, spending quality time together and eating good food after chemotherapy treatment is a huge bonus, Ethel said with a big smile.
Patients do not need treatment just around Christmas time
When asked about L-Istrina, Ethel said that for her it truly means that people living in Malta get together to do their utmost to support those in need. She said that a large majority of their funds - around €800,000 a month - are spent on chemotherapy, especially since cancer drugs are so expensive.
“I believe people should donate not just during Christmas time, but all year around, since at the end of the day patients do not just need treatment or support during the festive period but all year round. I now know exactly what it feels like to be on the receiving end, and to have so much support from MCCFF during such a difficult period in my life. I am lucky to have so much support from my family and friends, but not everyone is in the same situation, and the staff at MCCFF are amazing and are ready to support you from the moment you had in your application form.”
She said that the people at MCCFF are aware that people do not just need financial aid, but also emotional support, which for Ethel is refreshing to see people being treated with care and empathy.
“I am grateful to have my family, my husband and daughter, and all those who have continuously supported me throughout this time.”
She also said that, through her treatment, she has met lovely people who work at Sir Anthony Mamo Oncology Centre, who have been extremely supportive to her and all the other patients there. “I am so thankful for what I have and enjoy my life as it comes, although I face limitations, I try not to focus on the negatives. Everyone has a cross to bear, and through these burdens I believe I have become stronger, and that cancer is just part of my story and not the whole narrative.”
L-Istrina, the annual fundraising telethon in aid of the Malta Community Chest Fund Foundation, will be held on 26th December, starting at noon.