No quarter must be given to the perpetrators of domestic violence. Literally no quarter, none at law and no quarters in the household that such excuses for human beings have terrorised.
And while it is most encouraging that the government this week signed an agreement verging on a million euros for a new shelter for the victims of domestic violence, one should simultaneously be questioning why it is that the battered party, children sadly in tow, is the one forced out of the matrimonial home and into sheltered accommodation.
The law provides for the aggressor in such situations to be served eviction orders from the family home but for some reason the courts appear many times unwilling to take such steps.
It is true that in abusive situations the abused partner and children require protection, but it is also a fact that children have no business being driven from their homes and into shelters – to be forced to change schools, acclimate to new surroundings and to have their routines utterly destroyed. The psychological effects of such uprooting, not to mention everything else they have witnessed, can take a devastating toll on a child.
Such people and children need to be given as much of a semblance of continuity as possible, they are, after all, the victims.
But, as said, such abused people need protection from their abusers and this is easier said than done, and this is one of the primary reasons why they end up in shelters, to shelter from their abusers.
Here’s an idea: a Maltese judge recently stated in a verdict that the time had come to introduce electronic monitoring, why not try that out, first and foremost, with abusers? That way the victims could stay in their home and not be forced into a shelter for weeks, months or even years. That would be a fine idea, as opposed to the tools currently available: curfews, the signing of bail books, imposing personal guarantees and taking financial deposits. Were such a system to be implemented, the abused could stay at home safe in the knowledge that alarm bells would be sounded at the police depot should the abuser come within a set distance from the home – a small idea that could make a huge difference.
It has been reported how the number of reported cases of domestic violence has skyrocketed from 450 in 2008 to 1,272 in 2016 – a whopping 183 per cent increase in just eight years.
Such an increase may appear shocking at first glance but it also gives hope that it is attributable to the fact that women are becoming more empowered, more aware of their rights and less willing to merely suffer in silence.
But, tragically, there are so many voiceless women who simply settle for such treatment because they do not know any different. They resign themselves to their fate because they have seen such behaviour handed down from generation to generation. But this generation, with the heightened awareness that this day and age provides, must be the generation in which this is all brought to an abrupt end.
Recent research has revealed that at least one in four Maltese women have experienced violence at least once in their lives, and that at least half of those have suffered sustained abuse. But, gladly, reports of domestic abuse appear to have been coming more to the fore lately. And the reason for this is simple: women are becoming more empowered – more empowered to no longer tolerate that kind of treatment from their spouses or partners, and more empowered to stand up to their abusers.
But they must become more empowered still, to nip the problem in the bud, to call it quits when verbal abuse begins or when psychological abuse turns physical. Men in these situations must also learn that it takes a man to admit they have a problem and to seek help. And spotting that problem is equally simple: if you abuse anyone on any level, you have a problem – plain and simple.
The introduction of divorce legislation has provided a ray of hope for many women who had found themselves in such circumstances. Many more abused women now know that they are not chained for life to an abuser, that there is a way out, and that the state can no longer force her to remain in that relationship, unable to close that nasty chapter of their lives and turn over a new leaf.
And for those stuck in a situation: take matters into your own hands, start your way out of an abusive situation that no one should be made to endure and call the dedicated 179 support line. There is always someone there to help, 24/7.