If you’re reading this article we’ll make the assumption that you don’t need a lecture on the evils of alcohol.

“I’ll never drink again.” It is a claim many of us have made the morning after a night out while struggling to face the daylight with a pounding headache, a parched tongue and a distinctly queasy feeling in the pit of the stomach.

For many, this promise is short-lived and is particularly hard to maintain during the holiday season. People tend to increase their alcohol consumption during the holidays when there are more parties and people have more leisure time.

Responsible drinking often results from learning from our mistakes. A morning-after hangover can be a powerful teacher and lessons learned can stick with us for at least…24 hours. Some of us need more reinforcement than others and that old demon alcohol is more than happy to oblige. All too often a night of continuous drink rounds is followed by a period of relative incapacitation, physical misery and mental anguish. Welcome to the reality of a hangover!

So if you’ve overindulged at the office Christmas party, you might find yourself not only deeply embarrassed but also seeking a quick hangover cure. Hangover remedies abound and include such treats as anchovies, tea made from rabbit droppings and, of course, another stiff drink. But do any of them work?

First of all let’s take a look at the physiology of what causes a hangover. As alcohol (ethanol) is consumed, it passes from our stomach into our small intestine where it is absorbed into the blood stream. This affects our brain and gives us pleasurable sensations in that we feel relaxed and lose some of our inhibitions.

There’s no way of avoiding it – alcohol is a toxin – our bodies process it and remove it from our systems. The liver is the organ which metabolises the alcohol, and the by-products are excreted in urine by the kidneys.

Alcohol is metabolised in two steps by the liver, using two enzymes: alcohol dehydrogenase and aldehyde dehydrogenase. The first enzyme converts alcohol into a very toxic substance called acetaldehyde. This makes us feel sick and is one of the three causes of hangover symptoms. A second cause is dehydration.

As the kidneys excrete the by-products, these require fluid and unless we drink a lot of water, this fluid is drawn from our body’s reserves. The third cause of symptoms is congeners. These are chemical substances present in varying amounts in different types of alcohol, wine and beer. They are responsible for the different characteristics of these types of drink. They play an important role in the development of headaches.

Enough of the physiology. Now let’s consider how to prevent one of these nasty episodes. The only sure-fire method of prevention is the obvious: abstinence. However, if that were an option you would be doing something else other than reading this article.

There are several ways to avoid a hangover or at least lessen its symptoms. The most important is to remain hydrated. Drinking water prior to, during and after drinking alcohol is critical to maintaining adequate fluid balance in your body. Have some solid food in your stomach before drinking. This will slow down the absorption process of alcohol. Consider drinking beer instead of hard alcohol or wine. The alcohol content is lower and the increased volume will make you feel full.

As mentioned, congeners are a factor in causing hangovers. The amount of congeners varies with different types of drinks. Vodka has very few congeners and whisky has quite a bit. Red wine has more than white wine. Cheap booze usually has more than expensive name brands.

Mixing different types of drinks can also be a problem. This presents different types of congeners to our system and we have a difficult time processing them. Consider quitting drinking early in the evening. This allows more time to metabolise the alcohol before the morning alarm sounds. Of course this requires a little bit of will-power and in spite of best intentions can be difficult. Avoid aspirin, ibuprofen and similar medications before retiring. These can be very irritating to your stomach with alcohol on board.

If we assume that you’ve either ignored all this advice or that it’s not been effective, what can you do the next morning when the moment of truth has arrived? This can range from rolling over in your bed, turning off the alarm and noticing that you feel nauseous, headachy and out of sorts to awakening half-clothed and wondering why someone is banging on your head with a baseball bat.

If you think you feel miserable, it’s a sure thing that you look even worse. A corollary to this is that hangovers are not a team sport. You want to battle this monster alone. If not too nauseous, begin hydrating as soon as you can. Try drinking water, ginger ale, energy drinks, etc. If you feel like you’re going to vomit by all means make a pilgrimage to the porcelain temple. In most instances this will help settle your stomach.

Once your stomach is settled it’s time to tackle the headache. If time allows, catching a short nap in a darkened, quiet room with an ice bag or cold compress on your forehead can work wonders. The cold compress helps constrict the vessels in your head and reduce the headache.

As soon as the headache and nausea are under control try to eat something. Some suggestions include soup and crackers, jelly, juice, etc. Coffee and cola drinks are an area of controversy. These may upset your stomach but on the other hand the caffeine will assist with vessel constriction. If you’re used to a morning coffee, it may help. Avoid drinking additional alcohol because this may help initially, but eventually you will suffer the consequences.

It’s normal during a hangover to feel regret, remorse and embarrassment. You will probably be put off drinking for the rest of your life but don’t worry, this is normal. Remember that we learn from our mistakes.

As a final note: If you find yourself referring to this article on a regular basis, it might be time to evaluate your drinking habits.