From Ms A. Pulis

Working wives (and more so working mothers) are accused of being the cause for every conceivable evil under the sun – increased crime rates, marital breakdown, increased levels of depression and suicide rates, the breakdown of society as we know it. It seems that we working wives never do one iota of good.

Michael Chetcuti Bonavita, even told us that working wives "will most probably be abused by their husband"; presumably because the husband might choose to spend money from the wife's income (TMIS, 20 February). Well, what is

wrong with that? Is this "abuse"? Is it not obvious that a wife's or a husband's income is shared by other members of the family?

I would like to tell all the Mr Chetcuti Bonavitas out there, that the world has changed. Working wives and mothers are on the increase. And guess what? Most of them are not going around having extra-marital affairs, being negligent homemakers and poor mothers to unruly children. Judging from our daily lives, most are putting their aptitudes to good use. Most are doing their best to raise well-adjusted young citizens and helping their families have a decent standard of living. Most working wives are doing a fine job. They work very hard and deserve nothing short of praise.

What we should be discussing in this day and age, is how to help parents (and not only mothers) spend more time with their children with career breaks, reduced working hours, flexitime, reduced work load during pregnancy and breastfeeding and so on.

In his letter, Mr Chetcuti Bonavita told us that children who have working mothers "will not find the right environment to live with peace of mind". How has he reached this conclusion?

My own personal experience is very different. I was raised by a working mother. My mother was a pioneer of her times, since it was only after 1977 that wives were allowed to continue working. Nowadays it is hard to believe that, prior to 1977, a woman was forced to resign if she chose to get married.

My mother was and still is a devoted and exemplary mother. Having a career helped her become a better person and effectively a better mother. Although 30 years ago it must have been difficult to go against the grain, her experience taught me that working outside the home and being a good mother are certainly not mutually exclusive. If anything, they complement each other.

Obviously one example does not set the rule. Parenthood will always remain the most important job undertaken by an adult. The children's needs should always be given priority. However, responsible parents can, and do find a balance between fulfilling the commitments at home and their careers.

May I congratulate all the wives and mothers who stay at home. Their hard work, often unappreciated, is praiseworthy. No one should consider them as inferior. There is no magic formula for the perfect wife or mother. Every wife or mother should feel free to choose what she thinks is best in her circumstances.

May I congratulate working wives and mothers. No one should try to instil a sense of guilt in us. Society should be proud of us, after all we are trying to shape society for the better.

My last appeal is for policy makers to provide more opportunities to encourage and support working wives and mothers.

Angele Pulis

ATTARD