In one of her recent articles Marisa Micallef expressed surprise that the number of children born to single mothers has increased so much in recent years. But why should it be so surprising? Teenaged single mothers who have never done a day’s work in their lives (let alone paid taxes and national insurance contributions) are getting an allowance good enough to live on these days. In fact they are the females most likely to have the most leisure time and the ones most likely to be found leading carefree lives at the taxpayers’ expense. I would go so far as to say that certain female teenagers are making a career out of being single mothers. After all, why bother with self-control and discipline, beating your brains out studying and working hard when an easier option is possible?
On the other hand, a married worker who loses his/her job – even after having paid taxes and national insurance contributions for as long as 20 years – will only be entitled to about Lm15 per week for a maximum of about 26 weeks if he/she happens to be married to a spouse who earns a minimum wage even if the married couple concerned have young children.
The children of single, unemployed mothers and children whose married parents are both unemployed are entitled to many benefits –such as free education evening classes and exemption from examination fees. Children of full time working parents do not usually enjoy such benefits. In general, it is simply more lucrative to be a single mother than a married one these days. Single unemployed fathers also seem to be doing rather too nicely. There are some who father several children from various single mothers and never have to provide for any of them thanks to our over lenient State – at least as far as such matters are concerned.
In general, children of married couples who are both unemployed can enjoy a better and less stressful lifestyle than “married families” where one of the parents works. The extremely modern, civilised and Christian Malta some of us are so proud of drastically discriminates against married people and married parents.
Besides, we belong to a culture that is increasingly over glorifying all types of parenthood and there is practically no emphasis (by State or Church institutions) on true, responsible parenthood. The State still gives natural parents (married or otherwise) far too much automatic rights over their children therefore care orders, even in cases where parents neglect and/or abuse their children, are extremely hard to put into practice and enforce.
A few months ago I read in the local press that a mother successfully fought in court to prevent her estranged partner or husband – the father of her child – from smoking in the child’s presence. That child was relatively lucky – at least one of his parents was responsible and cared enough about him, but what about children whose parents both smoke uncontrollably or children who live with a single smoking parent or guardian? Besides, passive smoking is not the only abuse that a child can be exposed to.
When Mother’s Day and Father’s Day come along we hear the usual tributes and mass sermons about the need for children to respect their parents – which is definitely correct and welcome. However, we hardly ever hear anything about the duty of being a good parent in every way – which is extremely worrying. The number of parents who are more in love with the idea of being parents rather than actually loving their own children per se seems to be on the increase. Hence it is now, more than ever, important for Parliament/State to discuss, enact and enforce some long overdue responsible legislation.
Marianna Galea Xuereb
DINGLI