Monday

Following the worldwide protests of Muslims against those pretty tasteless cartoons, (but I always thought some cartoons were supposed to be irreverent?!), which incidentally were originally published in the Danish press as long ago as last September, so it’s pretty obvious they were reissued to Muslims everywhere just to stir up trouble... a group of Maltese Catholic fundamentalists protest to Castille about the proposed image of our Christ on the new coins, the euro or the ewro, however we end up pronouncing it. Waving banners protesting about cartoons and coins, the demonstrators lobby our leaders to stop this daft idea of putting religious images on our money. Unless money is the new religion of course?

Tuesday

At a business breakfast about low cost airlines, one leading Air Malta bod interviewed by PBS on the 8 o’clock news, says Air Malta is a low cost airline!! (This is not tongue-in-cheek, it’s unbelievable but true). So thousands of us jam the Air Malta lines and offices to book those elusive Lm25 return flight to Prague, Madrid and Majorca, only to be sorely disappointed. What the Air Malta spokesman meant of course was that they could charge cheap fares, but they are not going to, because they are not being forced to and they have to look after all the frills of Air Malta staff, and all the privileges and perks that go with any protected airline. So we continue to stay at home, hoping at least that the sky high taxes will be reviewed, as our Prime Minster promised, if the economy can sustain it. The manifestos of the next Nationalist government (according to Robert Musumeci writing in The Times on Friday) promises to pay tourists to come to Malta to boost our tourism figures as the only way out of this impasse. Despite the figures of tourist arrivals appearing static, anyone who was around last summer and only saw TEFL students hanging out, knows that tourism is not what it was. Although some five-star excellent operators continue to do well, the country at large is not benefiting from tourism as it should.

Wednesday

The government responds to the proposed property tax amendments by proposing an amendment that everyone can pay a particular tax depending on one’s particular circumstances! Jobs are therefore increased at the tax office, everyone is happy and votes are regained. The most important source of secret, additional livelihood and sustenance for the Maltese besides gossip, i.e. investing in property, is once again returned to its sacred cow status.

Thursday

Bird flu panic hits Malta. Nobody is eating eggs or chicken. Those involved in the industry panic. Everyone starts to take the Tamiflu they ordered before they are prescribed it. Meanwhile, a cure is on the way in the States, at least for animals and soon to be tested on humans. Meanwhile, Africa, already buckling under the strain of debt, poverty, Aids and starvation, has no contingency plan to deal with bird flu. Fortress Europe ignored where the bird flu could do most harm. Now how does one stop or redirect the birds flying in from Africa? Perhaps employ ourselves, or our hunters, in the only sport we excel at and shoot those birds as they fly over?

Friday

The MUT wins its current battle with the beleaguered Education Minister to take all unruly children out of school. A new school is created for such kids, as the MUT demanded, but the government suddenly finds that because of special pay and conditions many teachers are flocking to teach at this school. Strange when one considers these pupils were not wanted in traditional schools. Perhaps a school for unruly parents, who don’t put any effort or sacrifice into bringing up their kids and expect Nanny State to do it all for them, might have been a wiser suggestion from the MUT?

Saturday

An opinion poll shows Maltese voters are just tired, tired of voting, tired of keeping up with the Galeas, the Laferlas and the Pizzutos cum Jones’. So the government, in conjunction with the Opposition (and even AD agrees with the big ones for a change!), orders a three-month moratorium on any reporting of political activity, elections every 20 years (after all the Nationalists have been in government for nearly that long so what’s the difference) in a bid to win back voters interest and confidence.

Sunday

While that part of the young and not so young population who go out on a Saturday night are in the land of nod for most of Sunday morning, the rest dutifully wake up their kids, take them to Mass and struggle with all these opinion pieces in too many newspapers, as you are hopefully doing now. And nothing happens.

Thank God for Sunday!