So what did England B’s friendly against Belarus tell us? Very little to be honest, other than should the first choice 11 all mysteriously contract a simultaneous illness then England should leave Germany on the next available flight.

As a match it was fairly dull and that was to be expected from a game which doesn’t even rank as a proper friendly. But in a way I guess it was important for Sven to find out what his fringe players can do should they be called upon in an emergency.

Of those on show only Aaron Lennon really impressed. The speedy Spurs winger was energetic and determined throughout and he could well find himself with some part to play in this tournament. Sadly for him he plays in the same position as Beckham, Sven’s sunshine boy.

On the other wing Stuart Downing did little to impress me. He does have a pretty tasty left foot on him but he rarely seems capable of beating his defender to give himself the opportunity to use it.

Ashley Cole, Sol Campbell and Michael Owen all took further steps towards gaining full fitness, which was good, and Peter Crouch showed some magnificent touches and will have done his cause no harm.

In the centre of the park Jenas and Carrick were decent but not outstanding and they both gave the ball away far too often against rather poor opponents. Against Brazil and it would been far more costly.

But the real story of the night was the debut for 17-year-old Theo Walcott. Although the kid only had half an hour to show what he can do there were flashes of the brilliance which has got everyone talking about him. I really wouldn’t be surprised if he is brought on a sub on a few occasions this summer if for no other reason than to win a few free kicks.

There was an element of sadness about the evening though when third choice goalkeeper Robert Green was stretchered off after rupturing his groin having only been on the pitch a couple of minutes.

The Norwich player will now miss the World Cup which is sad news for him even though the chances of him actually playing any part in it would have been extremely slim anyway.

All in all, not the most memorable evening’s football but one which I am sure will have helped Sven in his plans. The real warm-ups, the ones which matter, start this week when the big boys will be trotted out to show they mean business.

But even those will pale into insignificance when the real stuff starts in 13 days. Is it just me or is time passing very, very slowly…?

Patrick Vieira

Just a short suggestion to all would-be thieves out there: If you are going to pump gas into the air-conditioning system of an expensive house, knock out the occupants, break in, steal their jewellery and escape in their car, then maybe you might want to make sure the house doesn’t belong to an international superstar football player.

Had the villa in question belonged to just about anybody else from any other walk of life then I am quite sure the robbery would have gone by pretty much unnoticed. Daring and quite clever, but otherwise unremarkable.

But the very fact that Patrick Viera was the man asleep inside made the police extremely anxious to catch the criminals in question, especially as the robbery took place just a couple of weeks before the start of the World Cup.

Can you imagine the looks on the faces of the thieves when they woke up the morning after to find out they had done the dirty on the Juventus and France midfielder? Especially if they are football fans themselves which is more than likely.

Of course, there is a train of thought which suggests they purposely targeted Viera knowing he would have more than your average amount of loot on the premises. But I don’t agree with that theory. You would have to be pretty dumb criminal to rob a key international footballer’s house when football is all the world is talking about right now.

Then again, I suppose there are some pretty dumb law breakers around. Just ask Juventus fans.

Now five people have been arrested in connection with the incident, quite remarkable considering it only took place a few days ago and they had an entire continent to escape to.

Rumour has it they are the same gang which broke into Theo Walcott’s house a few weeks ago and made off with a train set, some school books and a copy of the Beano…

Jay DeMerit

The unlikely source of this week’s top quote is an American footballer. And I mean player of football, the real game, not that over-dressed version where so-called men wear shoulder pads and crash helmets.

Watford defender Jay DeMerit has lived the fairytale. He arrived in England to study at university and now, after scoring one of the team’s three goals in the play-off final, is a Premier League star.

But it hasn’t always been that way for the likeable lad.

“I came to England with just 900 pounds. I learned to like beans on toast very quickly,” he said.

Well, it should be champagne and caviar for Jay next season. But I wouldn’t develop a taste for it if I were him. With Watford firmly installed as pre-season favourites to go straight back down he could very well find himself reaching for the toaster and the can-opener again the season after.

Generous offer

Flicking through the latest World Cup news on the internet I was amused to read that Ghana have been promised 20,000 dollars a player by their own government for every game they win.

At face value it sounds like a pretty generous offer. Each win would see the government fork out nearly half a million dollars to the 23-man squad.

But, when you think about it in a greater depth, it is little more than a publicity stunt isn’t it? What are the chances of Ghana, taking part in their first ever World Cup finals, beating Italy, the Czech Republic or the United States?

Very, very, very limited I would suggest.

However, it’s not just Ghana who are on one of these silly bonuses. Any Angolan player who manages to score in Germany (on the pitch that is) will be in line for a 5,000 dollar reward from one of their local banks.

It’s slightly less ludicrous than the Ghana deal but still a pretty safe bet for the bank considering they are up against Portugal, Mexico and Iran.

All we need now is for some local enterprising company to realise there is mileage in this scheme and offer our local lads millions if they win the World Cup.

Don’t be surprised…

Contact James on: [email protected]