One of the most noted psychologists, Dr Charles Gerkin once wrote: “no minister will ever get close to a person who he is unwilling to physically touch. If you are not willing to touch a homeless person, or an alcoholic, or a terribly dirty person, you psychologically are unwilling to minister to them”. Hence, for Gerkin, physical touch is the vehicle through which authentic care is given to people who are undergoing great distress in their lives.
When done with great care and respect for the person involved, physical touch is an effective way of providing assurance for the person in need. It is amazing how, for instance, holding hands conveys the message that “no matter what you’re in, no matter what you are going through, I am with you”. This feeling of a comforting, attentive and caring accompaniment has the power of alleviating the pain of a broken heart, encouraging a disheartened person and giving hope for a brighter future.
Touch affects the person who is touching and the receiver who is being touched. It creates a sacred relationship of mutual trust. Many a time, words fall short of communicating deep feelings and thoughts. A tender touch can easily exhibit one’s total availability and compassionate understanding for the other’s emotional and spiritual state right away.
The motives behind touch empower or disempower it. I am reminded of that famous gospel episode where the woman who was suffering from haemorrhage approached Jesus and touched his clothes. Jesus’ reaction was all the more interesting: “Who touched me?” (Mk 5,31). Deep down in his being, Jesus felt that he was being touched in a particular way. The woman’s touch was entirely different from the crowd’s pressing touch. Hers was a touch of complete faith and trust in Jesus’ healing power. And her trusting touch earned for her the much desired healing.
We touch one another not just physically but also by the way we relate to one another, especially the words we say to each other. Every time before receiving Jesus in the Eucharist, we pray to him, “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed”. If Jesus’ word heals because it gives eternal life (Jn 6,68) why do our words frequently lead to death? Are they devoid of any caring deeds and gestures? If this is the case, now is the time to return to the Lord our God and obey his voice (see Deut 4,30).
And his voice is filled with his ever-pervading presence: “I am with you always, to the close of the age” (Matt 28, 20). May his faithful and loving presence transform our verbal and non-verbal ways of communicating. May our touch stem from a heart filled with Christ’s love for humanity. Let us not forget that “we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing” (2 Cor 2,15).
Fr Mario Attard OFM Cap