From Ms M. H. Camilleri

We live in confusing times. Everything is permissible and we all have free choices. Yet this is what makes life confusing! I remember playing board games like Monopoly in my youth. Buying a hotel in Mayfair was a top ambition and cost a lot whereas buying one in the Old Kent Road was easier. One collected £200 when one passed “GO”. Rules were fun and made the game playable. In fact, all games and sports have rules.

But where are the rules of life? Slowly eroded by very strong “modern forces”, they have left us with an unplayable game and one in which many people are getting hurt.

Sex has been a hot potato since Adam and Eve! “It was the woman you created for me; she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it,” said Adam. Ever since then men have blamed women for tempting them. Mind you, looking at today’s gorgeous girls wearing miniscule clothing, the game of Adam and Eve is being replayed –with very tragic circumstances sometimes.

Look at this scenario – a beautiful girl in her early teens is in Paceville with her girlfriends. Naturally noticed by an older male who is on the lookout for a pretty girl. Dressed too old for her 13 years she dances with him and he offers her a drink. “I would like a vodka,” she says and then has another and another… The giggling girl feels flattered and innocently accepts to go for a drive in his car. The radio plays lovely soft romantic music. He parks the car… and I leave the rest to your imagination. A few weeks later she is still seeing him and happy but then, she misses her period. Too young to understand what this means, or ill informed about the consequences of unprotected sex, she carries on enjoying herself. Then she starts feeling tired and nauseous – has she got a tummy upset? No – her girlfriends take her to a chemist where she explains her symptoms. On hearing that she might be pregnant the girl is totally traumatised.

She dare not tell her parents but goes to her doctor who confirms this suspicion with a simple test. Our teenager cries and her friends comfort her. Who shall she turn to – the young man? She meets him and tells him but he blames her and says she should get rid of it as he is not ready to support her as he is still at university and penniless. Now she is frantic and hurt, cries into her pillow at night in between feeling sick in the loo. Why didn’t someone warn her of what might happen? She finds that her parents notice her change of mood, as she is too preoccupied and not their former carefree girl. They look worried and then the truth is out. Now comes “The Crunch”! Will they support her and encourage her to keep the baby – or will they take her to London or Sicily?

Yes, truly a game needs to be learnt and played by the rules. This is why good sexual education is so necessary. This should come from parents ideally, frankly talking to their teenage girls and boys, telling the girls getting pregnant is very easy and to watch their binge drinking, drug taking and general dress and behaviour. In fact, to teach them to be serious in their approach to life. Today life is presented as one big raucous holiday! They should tell boys to respect the girls, be courteous not chauvinistic and to look after them, keeping clear of sex if they have no job or career which they can offer the mother of their possible child – the result of early sex. Being a young teenager can be such fun really, what delight to look into your boyfriend’s eyes and see them light up as you approach rather than see that hunter’s look, which may intimidate you as you do not know how to deal with it! Teenagers must relearn romancing rather than dive into heavy relationships immediately.

You may think all this is outdated but honestly we had tremendous fun, were very popular as we were good dancers and laughed a lot, but it was never on to go the whole hog!! Yes life was easier keeping to the rules of keeping your legs together and so on.

Babies need a secure environment to grow up in – a loving mum and dad, totally committed to making sacrifices, the one to the other, so that their little one grows up in the knowledge and security of their love. “Please, please love and hold me Mama and Papa and never let me go…”

Mary Hilda Camilleri

SLIEMA