Politicians can squawk and squabble all they like about what they think is good for us when it comes to such issues as divorce.

Meanwhile, hundreds (or should I say thousands?) of people have simply got on with their lives, taking decisions only they can take regarding their domestic arrangements. Many have long overcome the “what will people say?” complex, and are hardly going to wait around until our grey men in suits make up their minds about the legislation. So, faced with the prospect of either remaining alone for the rest of their lives, or the possibility of trying to forge a new relationship with someone else, more and more are just living together.

This tired divorce debate, which raises its head whenever an election looms, has now spawned several well-worn catchphrases, one of which is that barricading the shores of Malta against divorce is “for the good of society”.

Now wait a minute. Exactly which society are they talking about? The one consisting of the “No divorce, please, we’re Catholic” brigade or the legion of separated men and women struggling to pick up the pieces after their marriage has not only hit the rocks, but has sunk to the depths of the proverbial Titantic? A society where, after years of bitter feuding behind closed doors, some couples face even more years of battling out custody arrangements and the division of property in court as ugly vengeance and spite take over what once was a loving relationship.

I get this nagging feeling that we are living in a sort of parallel universe: one occupied by MPs and ministers who try to convince us that Malta circa 1950 still exists, and the other universe the rest of us really live in. Even if not enough concrete statistical data is available, I cannot believe that our politicians are clueless about the sheer number of people who have left broken marriages and have set up home with someone else.

I bet that even you who are reading this can count a good number of people living together among your relatives, friends and acquaintances. Not to mention the number of children born out of these relationships where the parents cannot get married. But hey! Who cares about a few hundred (?) kiddies?

The important and crucial thing is that divorce does not enter Malta. That way our souls are safe.

When I hear an MP (who is only an MP because “society” has voted for him/her) try to frantically reassure us that “things are not that bad”, it just confirms once again that some politicians have stopped listening.

Ironic isn’t it, since “you never listen to me” is one of the most common complaints husbands and wives throw at each other when their relationship ends up in the Law Courts.

The anti-divorce arguments irritate me when they come from people who are happily married because they smack of self-righteousness. “I’m alright, so **** you Jack”.

They are usually the ones who say that divorce should not be allowed because “we are Catholic and the Church does not accept divorce”. But who is this “we” everyone keeps talking about? It’s no secret that the number of truly devout, practising Catholics has dropped sharply in this country, and the Catholics of convenience, who get married in church even though they haven’t stepped inside a church since their grizma (confirmation), are more common than you think.

Divorce is an act carried out in a civil court, so the Church doesn’t come into it. Yet people persist in shackling others with the Church’s teachings even when those others no longer practise their religion and are effectively no longer part of the Church. What ever happened to free will? The right to choose one’s religious beliefs or non-beliefs? And yet we have the nerve to tut-tut about Islamic fundamentalists.

For those who want to marry again (because that is what getting a divorce implies), having someone else sit there in judgement telling you what you can or cannot do is galling. Unlike the plague, divorce is not catching, so if it does not apply to you, you won’t be suddenly seized by an irresistible urge to divorce your husband/wife. In fact, we can’t even presume that all separated people will want a divorce in order to re-marry because sometimes, the traumatic experience of disentangling themselves from their first marriage has well and truly cured them of any illusions or romantic notions the institution of marriage once held for them. Some will even tell you that marriage is the death knell of any relationship.

But for those who are separated who do want to try again, who want to make their relationship legal because of their offspring, their finances or simply because they want to be able to say, “this is my husband/wife”, their hands are tied.

Why on earth should a handful of elected representatives high-handedly assume that they know what’s best for everyone else? I don’t even think this is a matter for a referendum, because even if there were only 20 couples clamouring for divorce, they should have that option available to them.

It seems to me that Malta is turning more and more into one huge reality show, with Big Brother eerily lurking over our shoulders as we get on with our private lives.

There’s only one hitch: the “reality” is not the one the decision-makers are making it out to be. And, unlike Grande Fratello, none of us can get voted off the island.

But we can vote off the politicians who are simply not listening.