The Russian writer Leo Tolstoy started his famous book Anna Karenina with the haunting sentence, “All happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”.

So true. All troubled families have their different problems, and there are many such families in these and other EU countries.

Malta is the only one of the 27 EU members where divorce is not possible.

However, divorces obtained abroad are recognised. Strange and confusing.

Costly annulments are also possible in Malta.

So far so good, for the people who can afford those hefty costs. Sad for those who cannot.

Italy, Spain, the Republic of Ireland, Poland – staunch EU Roman Catholic countries – have accepted divorce.

Are we hell-bent in denying so many partners in “dead marriages” the possibility of finding happiness with a new person?

Does one really expect a married partner to live with his or her “hated” adulterous, gambling, alcoholic, drug addict, actively bisexual, or violent partner, just for the sake of keeping that unhappy family “intact”?

The inevitable result in such a situation is that the married partners will “live together” on paper only. Consequently, one or both, will find another lover, and in the process cohabitate and commit adultery.

Can one blame so many couples who fall into this category? They do not have any alternative. Or does one expect them to become celibate and join a monastery or a nunnery?

But according to the anti-divorce lobbyists, and correct me if I’m wrong, cohabitating and committing adultery appears to be acceptable and preferable to divorce.

Divorce, as awful as it is, is a necessary evil.

If all serious, determined and prolonged efforts by the family courts at reconciliation fail, divorce is the only answer. Adultery, on the other hand is an active process which a married man or women performs out of personal choice, need or circumstances.

As a former British Army families doctor for 27 years, I had hundreds of encounters with troubled families. With the help of marriage counsellors, priests and the rest of my primary care team, it was a real joy to be able to get the quarrelling couples together again. However, on a number of sad occasions, that was impossible.

Many of those couples divorced amicably, with some exceptions.

I, also during all those years, met hundreds of children and teenage patients who came from divorced and separated parents. The majority were normal in every respect, though some were suffering from psychological problems.

I would like to congratulate Dr Harry Vassallo and his AD, the green party, for having the courage of voicing their opinion in favour of introducing divorce in these islands.

Finally, I wish to end on a light note. I remember a hilarious divorce court incident which I read about, some time ago.

The wife was asked by her lawyer,

“So what was the first thing your husband told you when you woke up in bed that morning after a rather boozy night?”

“He said, ‘Where’s my coffee, Sophie darling?’”

The lawyer asked,

“Why did that upset you so much?

“My name is Anne,” the wife replied.

Chev. Colonel Dr Raymond Bencini Testaferrata

Zebbug