Even today, the sun will not rise. This is the third time it has happened this year. The sun was supposed to have risen by 6.45am and will set at 7.10pm. But it’s now 9.30am on Good Friday and there is no sun in the sky. The street lights are still on as I slowly make my way to my car. Even though it is a feast, I have a business lunch today.
There is very little news and most of it is hidden. It seems that the first African War has moved the earth’s axis. Nobody says anything clearly, like at the time the Twin Towers were attacked. But it appears that in Africa they are using atomic weapons with ultra-impoverished uranium. The explosions cause an irregularity in the earth’s rotation, just like an old vinyl record where the head frequently jumps from one groove to another. But according to the experts, these atomic weapons unleash a low frequency radiation that is absorbed into the air within 36 hours. And this leaves the water sources intact.
It would seem the Chino-Russian coalition now controls the biggest rivers in Africa, while the Indians, allies of the US and the Anglo-Australians, can barely keep control over the great lakes area.
But these are fragmented news, mostly obtainable from independent sites. The new president of RAI, Lele Mora, has said that whenever it was felt necessary, the News Bulletins will provide information on the war. But for now, so as not to excite people, it is better to mix news bulletins with light and edifying programmes.
Ever since the Water War began, Rome is no longer what it used to be. The Blue Helmets of the UNO patrol the Tiber. So, to go anywhere, a driver must drive round and round the Eternal City, because the roads next to the river are heavily patrolled, almost as if it were a military zone.
Luca Cordero di Montezemolo, who apart from being Minister for the Environment is also Deputy Prime Minister, said he is optimistic about the War of the Water. The French are retreating from the Po and now only have the Lake of Como. And the UN soldiers are patrolling the Po.
When I leave, I check my fuel gauge, which tells me I have enough water to reach my destination. When I return, I must stop at the Fontana di Trevi to refuel.
It used to be so simple once: there were the self-service petrol stations, where you put in money and filled your tank. But ever since Bush lost the War of Petrol and petrol was abolished and the Seven Sisters made bankrupt, water has become absolutely vital for the world’s economy. A barrel of water now costs 110 euros. One must queue at water fountains because this is wartime and there is water rationing: only three litres a day. Some have modified their motor, and have succeeded in making it work with fizzy water. But it seems this is an urban legend.
Salty water is absolutely forbidden: it is reserved exclusively for the use of national security, Minister for Defence Mgr Bagnasco told Porta a Porta.
Everything has happened so quickly. The defeat of the Americans in Iraq, which was invaded by Iran, and Iran today controls Palestine, Lebanon, Afghanistan. The Great Persia now controls what used to be called the Arab world.
In a secret summit at the Vatican, Dick Cheney, elected to the White House after the Washington coup removed George W. Bush, decided that to save the West, he would give the world the formula of hydrogen energy, just as Clinton had given the world the Genome Map.
Within a few months, oil lost its value, exited from the financial markets and is no longer a resource of energy. “The end of pollution,” rejoiced environmentalists all over the world.
The chain reaction was sudden, just like the explosion of Internet after the fall of the Berlin Wall. In revenge, the Al Qaeda is letting their oil flow down to the sea, so as to render unusable the West’s new source of energy.
Today, the great of the world are the water industrialists. Giulio Malgara has returned to the helm of Chiari&Forti, just as Steve Jobs did so many years ago at Apple. He reacquired Levissima, and then conquered Ferrarelle, San Benedetto and Uliveto. Then he purchased Mediaset and joined it to Telecom. He transformed Upa into a party, won the elections and is now the prime minister of Italy.
Prodi is exiled in Malta; Berlusconi is in house arrest at a thermal bath. Massimo d’Alema is the new Italian President and Casini has taken holy vows. The best informed whisper he may be the next Pope. Many things have changed in the Catholic liturgy because of this War of Water. They have abolished, for instance, baptism and blessings that have to do with water. An attempt to copyright holy water has been censored by the Antitrust authority.
Written by Marco Ferri for Megachip/Off