Mother’s Day will be celebrated on Sunday. Maria Giuliana Fenech looks back at how the celebration started, writes about famous mothers and speaks to a foster parent

Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Children’s Day – one would easily think that these are just celebrations conjured by greeting card companies in collaboration with florists. However, the roots of Mother’s Day are deep and ancient. The Ancient Greeks used to honour Rhea as the mother of all the gods and later in history the Romans celebrated the Matronalia.

This feast was technically dedicated to Juno, the queen of the gods and goddess of several things including childbirth; but on this day mothers usually received gifts from their husbands and children. Roman husbands were also expected to offer prayers for their wives. On this feast day, household slaves were given the day off and their food was prepared by the other women of the house.

In England, during the 1600s, it was the norm to visit the church of your home village at least once a year. This meant that you would also be reunited with your mother and this practice came to known as Mothering Sunday, which is loosely connected to Mother’s Day. In the United States, the custom of celebrating Mother’s Day first started in the 1870s when Julia Ward Howe called for mothers to unite against war.

During these first celebrations of Mother’s Day, the mothers of sons who had fallen on opposite sides in the American Civil War would meet up. Later on in 1907, Anna Jarvis commemorated the anniversary of her mother’s death two years earlier in 1905.

Ann Jarvis had been very active in the aforementioned movement. As the custom of Mother’s Day spread across the United States, the emphasis shifted from a pacifist movement to a general appreciation of mothers.

Several cultures celebrate Mother’s Day, though in some countries it is amalgamated with Woman’s Day. In Thailand, Mother’s Day is celebrated on 12 August, Queen Sirikit Kitiyakara’s birthday, while Muslims generally celebrate Mother’s Day on Fatima Zahra’s birthday, Mohammed’s daughter.

In Malta, Mother’s Day falls on the second Sunday of May.

Celebrations in Malta generally consist of a meal and a gift for the mother in question. Although this feast may sometimes feel over commercialised it is our duty to make it special for our mothers. Rather than buy our mothers the usual plant (unless she is a very keen gardener!) we can try to keep an eye out for something she honestly wants rather than needs, i.e. not a new saucepan!

Some say it is due to the rise in the cost of living, others that women want to be more independent, but the rate of mothers going out to work is always on the increase.

With more and more women experiencing third level education, and having satisfying careers, becoming a stay-at-home mum is no longer viewed as an option. Many women who have studied for many years and finally reached a certain position in their occupation of choice would find it difficult to suddenly give it all up and stay at home all day.

Returning to work once the children have grown up would be hard and in a fast changing world it is easy to get out of touch with what is going on.

It is very difficult for a mother to work a 40-hour week and then return home to do the ironing, the preparation of school lunches and the million and one other household chores. Today, housework is shared more equally between mother and father yet the brunt still seems to falls on the mother.

It is because of this situation that Mother’s Day is further justified as a day when mothers are celebrated and honoured. Mothers generally say that they do not want anything special and instead they would prefer some more attention throughout the year.

Therefore, although mothers should nevertheless receive a gift on their sacrosanct day it would be a good idea to actually follow their wishes and try to be more helpful in the other 364 days too.

Famous mothers in history

The saying goes that “Behind every great man there’s a great woman”. The saying may be adapted to “Behind every great person there’s a great mother”. The “help” some mothers offered their children was downright ruthless while other mothers were typical pushy Hollywood mums. After all they just wanted what they thought was the best for their children.

Alexander the Great’s mother, Olympias, wanted to ensure that her son and no one else would be the future king of Macedon. Being the devoted mother, she was not averse to resorting to killing people if necessary. She definitely encouraged Alexander’s lofty ideas about being descended from the gods, insisting that it was the god Zeus rather than King Philip who fathered Alexander. Olympias may or may have not played a part in the murder of King Philip but the murder did make her dear son king at the tender age of 20.

Though Alexander was now king, galloping around, conquering and maybe even pillaging and Olympias was still living back home in Macedon, the two still communicated regularly by sending each other lengthy epistles. For his part, Alexander did not forget his mother and sent her frequent exotic gifts. One would think that after Alexander’s death, Olympias would calm down, maybe even take up weaving as a hobby. Plutarch, the biographer, writes otherwise; Alexander’s death also being somewhat spurious, Olympias took matters in her own hands and murdered a few people to exact revenge.

Olympias obviously lies at the extreme side of the motherly spectrum. Other mothers served as inspiration to their children. Elvis Presley’s mother, Gladys Smith bought her son his first guitar when he was 12 years old. Famously, Elvis’ first demo was a much-belated birthday present for his mother. When Gladys died Elvis was distraught and when he eventually died he was buried next to her.

Although John Lennon lived with his Aunt Mimi, it was his mother Julia who purchased his first guitar. Julia, a banjo player, was confident about her son’s musical pursuits and when the young John had trouble with guitar chords she thought him the easier banjo chords. Although Julia died before the height of Beatlemania, she was a staunch fan of her son’s earlier band The Quarrymen. At their first gigs she is said to have screamed, shouted and clapped louder than anyone else. Later on, John Lennon immortalised his mother in “a song of love” aptly titled Julia.

One of the many virtues of mothers is the way they never bail out on their children. Al Capone’s mother, Teresa, when delivering his macaroni to jail still called him a good boy! St Monica, one of the patron saints of mothers, never gave up on her son St Augustine either despite his years of debauchery. On the advice of a bishop, who consoled her with the now famous words, “the child of those tears shall never perish”, St Monica continued to pray for her son to convert to Christianity. She went as far as pursuing her wayward son to Rome and this he finally did aged 28.

Maria Sklodowska-Curie not only won the Nobel Prize twice herself but she also gave birth to another Nobel Prize winner Irène Joliot-Curie. Mother and daughter ran the mobile radiography units, which were used for the treatment of wounded soldiers. These mobile units were known as petites Curies – Little Curies! Both mother and daughter died from diseases contracted from exposure to the radioactive elements with which they made their noted discoveries. Irene’s children, Hélène and Pierre are also highly esteemed scientists.

The foster mother: Karen* has been fostering Andrea* for the past five years. This bundle of joy first came into her family’s life aged three-and-a-half years. Karen says, “Taking care of a foster child is like taking care of any blood child, however there is extra emotional baggage which must be unpacked, as otherwise it can rot and fall to ruin.”

Karen and her family first heard about fostering a child through Appogg. They attended a course about fostering children; subsequently their profile was matched with that of a child who would benefit most from their lifestyle. Karen mentions how living with a foster child is a bittersweet experience. Foster children tend to idolise their birth mothers but also fret when a meeting which has been prepared months ahead falls through.

Although at times Karen feels angry after such a situation, it is important that Andrea does not know about this. Karen and her family strongly believe in the importance of Christian values and therefore feel that is their duty to remind Andrea about the birth parents. When the foster child does not mention the birth mother for a while, they casually bring her up in conversation and they always pray for the biological parents before sleeping. Karen and her family think that if Andrea grows up loving and respecting the birth parents, life in the future will be easier.

Mother’s Day is celebrated in Karen’s household in the same way as anywhere else.

She receives cards and gifts from Andrea and from her two other children. Cards made at school by her foster child are duly presented to her, bearing captions like “You are the greatest Mum”. However, Karen and Andrea also prepare a card and a present for the birth mother.

Previously meetings between mother and child were quite regular but unfortunately for the past two years, meeting and presenting these gifts has been rather difficult. In the past, a gift and a card could be hidden away, but as Andrea grows up, Karen has to pass on the difficult message that the gifts could not be delivered as it was impossible to make contact with the mother.

Karen does not want to take the place of Andrea’s biological mother but to give Andrea a chance to live within a healthy family environment.

* Karen and Andrea are fictitious names