“The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State”. Article 16(3) of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights

What goes on in our family affects us, either directly or indirectly. Conflict is an unavoidable part of family life. Because every family is a collection of individuals with distinct personalities, needs and values, it is inevitable that family members will sometimes get in each other’s way.

Every family experiences some level of family conflict. Disagreements are a normal part of any relationship. However, if these conflicts go unresolved, they can begin to harm relationships in the home and may also lead to long-term family difficulties.

Particular consideration should be given to those families that are finding it hard to survive difficulties.

Types of familial problems

Family problems come in all shapes and sizes. Some are short-lived and easily managed, while others are more chronic and difficult to handle. Stress points include events such as illness and injury, unemployment, marital problems and financial difficulties. Each family develops its own ways of coping with these stresses, some of which work better than others. A family is a unit made up of two or more people, so there must exist between them a precise network of rights and duties, together with a variety of psychological sentiments such as love, respect and affection.

As a natural and biological reality, the family finds its origin in a consensual union between two people. A family can be the greatest source of support, comfort and love, but it could also be the greatest source of pain and grief for one or more of the family members. Some of the typical conflicts that families experience include how late teenagers can stay out, whose turn it is to wash the dishes, if a child wants a dog but one parent dislikes animals and so on. Such issues are common to most families, and although they are not pleasant, they must be addressed and resolved.

Although continuous and irresolvable conflict can be a danger signal, most family conflict is not only normal but also healthy. On the other hand, illness, substance abuse issues, disability, abuse, separation or other problems that create stress and tension can tear families apart. When we are involved in such situations, we are not always at our rational best, as the stress that is involved makes us shift to a more emotional frame of mind.

What help is available

to families?

Very often, the problem is not a problem in itself, but is a part of a larger process involving other people, other behaviour and other meanings. As such, family problems have been seen to arise as an emergent property of systemic interactions, rather than to be blamed on individual members. Family therapy, for example, assumes that a family as a whole is larger than the sum of its parts.

Family therapy helps the family members appreciate that each one of them is considered important in the process of understanding and resolving problems. It can help the family weather the storm and can also help patch strained relationships among family members, while improving how the family works together. It tends to view the family in terms of the systems of interaction between family members and emphasises family relationships as an important factor in psychological health.

Family therapy has been proven to be effective in families facing difficult situations, such as substance abuse, behavioural problems, abuse and marital distress, among others. It is understood that a problem belonging to one family member does not affect that person only, but rather the whole family as a system. Such is the reason why agencies like Appogg, sedqa and Sapport, incorporated within the Foundation for Social Welfare Services, offer help not only to the person with the problems, but also to the rest of the family.

Below are examples of difficult situations that families may have to face, which can be addressed through the services that are offered by the above-mentioned agencies.

Behaviour problems

Many adolescents today have a lot of pressures to deal with, such as bullying, peer pressure, substance abuse issues, and other problems within their family, among others. Parents and their teenagers, for example, struggle between the young wanting their independence while still needing parental guidance, and sometimes these conflicts result in behavioural problems.

Sometimes, adolescents cannot easily explain why they act the way they do. They may be confused about it, and they may perceive delinquent behaviour as appropriate ways of dealing with what they experience. Parents and loved ones, on the other hand, may feel scared, angry, frustrated, or even hopeless. They may feel guilty and wonder where they have gone wrong. All these feelings are normal, but it is important to understand that there is help available to such adolescents and their families.

Psychological therapy, and sometimes also psychiatric help, addresses these particular issues of the adolescents, while family therapy or counselling helps the family deal with the situation. Research indicates that the most effective treatments, even with very difficult young people, are programmes and treatments that are family-based and multi-disciplinary. This means that the treatment focuses on all the parts of the young person’s life, particularly those that shape how he or she views the world, emphasising family and parental support.

The Youth Outreach Service within Agenzija Appogg offers intensive social work intervention to young people with very challenging behaviour and multiple problems. A more holistic approach is adopted now that the service also includes youth work and psychological interventions.

Abuse in the home

There are also indisputable long-term effects related to child abuse and/or domestic violence – both for the victims and for their families. Abuse is a painful traumatic family experience that has rippling effects on the entire family. However, family therapy for those who are impacted by abuse can help them heal from the abuse, and create tools to assure no further abuse will happen within their family.

It is imperative, however, that the victims receive psychological help as well as social work intervention. In cases of child abuse and domestic violence, Agenzija Appogg offers immediate social work interventions to the victims through the Child Protection Service and the Domestic Violence Service respectively. The Psycholo-gical Service and the Family Therapy Service offer psychological help and family therapy sessions for the victims and their families respectively. Supportline179, the 24-hour national helpline within this same agency, also offers an immediate referral system, guidance and emergency interventions when necessary.

Substance abuse and/or

gambling problems

Other issues can arise if a person develops problems related to alcohol, gambling and/or substance misuse and addiction, since these too do not take their toll only on the individual but also on the rest of the family. First of all, especially in cases of alcohol or substance dependency, it is important for the person to get treatment as soon as possible, or at least to call for advice on Helpline 151, otherwise the situation will probably get worse.

Typically, school and relationships, most notably family relationships, are among the areas of life most affected by alcohol and/or drug use and abuse. Substance abuse affects the individual physically and psychologically – in the way they behave, think and feel. It can also affect family members in the same way, causing trauma and shaping each individual’s development. In cases where a child or parent gambles or is dependent on one or more illicit substances, such dependency or addiction has the power to destroy the family.

Not all is lost, though. The family that manages to help the individual to get over the addiction can experience growth that eventually leads to healthier individuals and a healthier family. This can be achieved through the various services that Agenzija sedqa offers, namely The Substance Misuse Outpatient Unit (Detox), the Alcohol and Drugs Community and Residential Services. The Family and Psychology Services within sedqa also offer therapy to the families of the victims and to the individuals respectively. This kind of therapy helps users and their loved ones to deal with the stresses of withdrawal and relapse, and to decide on the best options regarding treatment and help.

Separation

Separation between spouses also propels adults and children into numerous adjustments and challenges. While great diversity exists in children’s adjustment to separation, and many children weather the transition and become competent adults, others experience ongoing emotional and behaviour difficulties, guilt feelings, academic and peer problems, sadness and possibly also sleeping or eating problems.

The constant conflicts and disputes between the two parties is often reflected and bounced off onto the children, which in turn may lead to many more problems. Court proceedings are often necessary and inevitable, but the way the parents deal with such situations may have a ripple effect on the children. The Court Services within Agenzija Appogg assess such cases thoroughly and draw up recommendations for the Court to consider vis-à-vis the care and custody and well-being of the minors concerned. Following this, the therapists in the Appogg Psychological Service and the Appogg Family Therapy Service follow up the case if and when necessary by offering therapeutic help and support to the family members in need.

Disability

Having a family member with a disability can be taxing for the carers, especially if they are not offered any help, guidance or support. Agenzija Sapport offers social work interventions to people with a disability and their families or carers to deal with their social problems in an effective way. Ever conscious of the needs of the person with a disability to continue living within the natural family, Sapport embarked on the provision of Community Services.

This strategy was intended to support the person in their family environment and in the community with which the person is familiar, while at the same time giving all the available support and consultancy to the family as a whole in a bid to ensure that the person continues to live within his or her natural family for as long as possible.

Moreover, the Residential Service became the agency’s core service, and with the

ultimate aim of independent living in mind, Sapport set out to identify residences based within the community and possibly housing just a few persons within each unit.

Holding on

In conclusion, an important first step to surviving difficulties is to be aware and accept that a person, together with his or her family, might need professional help to assess and address any problem that might arise. Such help is offered by the various services within the agencies that form part of the Foundation for Social Welfare Services, which are Agenzija Appogg, Agenzija Sapport and Agenzija sedqa.

For further information on the agencies or on the services offered, kindly visit www .appogg.gov.mt, www.sapport. gov.mt or www.sedqa.gov.mt