17 May

Gangtok, the capital of Sikkim, may be westernised, with a high standard of living and education, but from as little as two kilometres from the town centre, the situation changes dramatically. As I become more familiar with my environment beyond the tourist attractions, I am astounded by the diversity of the people, their mood and their lifestyles.

Nima, my hotel manager, a young man in his late 20s, invites me to his village near Deorali, two kilometres away. Off the main road, we follow a narrow track down the extremely steep mountainside into the lush growth. Soon we see a cluster of about 20 buildings. Some, like the school, are built of stone, while the others are built from mud and wood. Cowsheds take up as much area as human lodging.

Nima has not visited his home for almost a month due to his work commitments, despite working and living so near. His days are long – from 6am till at least 10pm – but his mother is not pleased by his prolonged absence and scolds him on arrival! Certainly she must miss her son, but I can see that he feels rejected.

“She my wife,” he indicates with a nod of his head as she continues to wash the dishes by the water pump. Their cold manner makes them appear more like acquaintances. Throughout the whole visit she is reluctant to interact much with him – it is hard to conceive that they have two children below the age of three.

I ask how come he does not hug his kids when they come to greet him, or display affection towards his wife. Nima replies simply that it is not in their culture. I suddenly feel very fortunate for the loving environment in which I was brought up. He adds, sadly, “It is arranged marriage but no love.” He says that he longs for a second wife with whom he can share affection in private, which is possible... because Nima is a Sherpa.

Nima had explained that there are several distinct ethnic groups in Sikkim, and to date the people are very much aware of their ancestry, maintaining much of their original caste or tribe customs. Traditionally, the caste remained pure, with marriages only between branches and sub-branches being allowed, but in modern times, intermarriage has become common and the husband’s caste name (surname) and tradition is adopted.

While the Lepchas and the Bhutias are the original Sikkimese castes, the Sherpas are just one of the several ethnic groups originating in Nepal. As well as monogamy, in Sherpa society both polyandry (one woman marrying more than one man) and polygyny (one man marrying more than one woman) are practised on a social scale, with the village elders bearing witness, independently of the actual laws of the country.

Meanwhile, used to the profuse welcome given to me by Hindu and Muslim families in the past, I am profoundly aware of the new experience of being more or less ignored! I offer a customary box of milk-sweets to Nima’s mother, but she plays with the box, uncertain what to do, until one of the children takes it and disappears.

Eventually I receive a cup of hot, fresh milk, and the exchanged eye contact puts us both more at ease. By now, however, I begin to wish that I am still being ignored. Several strangers from surrounding houses have turned up to observe my every move while I sip my milk to finish. I soon discover that I am the first white person to visit this village, a true alien!

Returning the smiles offered to me, I soon head outside the mud kitchen to tease the three baby goats and pat the cows. I take a particular liking to the youngest calf that seems to relish my affection, returning it with licks of her fat, blue tongue!

Nima’s father is a healer, not much unlike what we would consider a witch doctor! While milking, he attempts to communicate with me. I understand that he earns some income by selling milk in the Deorali market.

They grow corn too, Nima explains later. His brothers, like most village people, grow vegetables on terraced fields that are used to grow four crops in a year. Then they move location to prevent the soil becoming sterile. The typical conical wicker baskets near the cowshed contain fodder they have collected for the cows.

Nima’s father is happy to let me take a picture of him milking a cow, and strikes a pose. From then on, the fun begins with the children. There are at least three times as many children than adults. They are curious and I take their picture too. They delight when I show them their image in the screen, so this goes on pretty much until the batteries die!

On the way back to Gangtok, Nima shares how he feels so alienated from this farming life. He is intelligent, skilled and broadminded, with so many dreams and ideals, but bound to his roots in what feel like chains to him.

20 May

Nima gives me a green, plastic watch as a token of friendship. I accept reluctantly, not wishing to offend him, although I wish he did not spend any of his meagre salary on me.

He has tears in his eyes when I tell him that I am due to leave Gangtok, and I feel touched to have made at least one real friend!

22 May

While Gangtok may be considered a small city, and Nima’s home is the tiny village, I begin to discover the many other things in between.

Sikkim, with its 7,096 square kilometres and population of just over half a million, is one of India’s smallest states and also one of the least densely populated. This is immediately obvious while travelling through the lonesome mountains roads.

Odd buses run between major towns, but the common mode of transport is the landrover which they call a “jeep”. Jeeps swerve with ease around the mountain folds, many of which host mini-waterfalls cum carwash spots, and easily handle the characteristic s-shaped roads which ease the way up and down the steep angled mountains.

Furthermore, less frequented roads are still made up of gravel, from large foot-sized stones set in mud to tiny gravel hand made by patient ladies who sit on the roadside hitting rocks with a hammer all day. Many roads are in various degrees of development so one stretch may present all varieties.

The trees cover the mountains from top to bottom like a fluffy green blanket, dotted with small wooden houses like Christmas tree baubles, a considerable distance from each other. I think the people who live in those houses must be extremely fit!

The jeep’s official capacity is 10 persons, but since the jeeps are infrequent, necessity sometimes commands otherwise. A policeman is the 16th passenger on our vehicle, squeezing his bum into an imaginary space.

The woman with the woolly bonnet points at a mother and her child sitting on a patch of grass on a bend ahead, and the jeep pulls up. Half the passengers get out to purchase some of her home-grown cabbages. Now the load consists of 16 passengers, their bags, a police rifle and about 40 cabbages! Why not?

24 May

A walk around the small town of Ravangla, 66 kilometres from Gangtok, reveals it to be small and quaint – built in wood in a style that reminds me a little of country and western movies! Here too, the restaurant windows are decorated with various types of dry noodles and whiskey bottles, an odd trademark of Sikkim so far!

Despite Ravangla being on the tourist map, my French companions and I quickly feel a little disheartened by the unhelpful inhabitants and the general inadequacy of transport to visit any nearby places of interest.

On the other hand, here we meet two Canadian men who, while lost during trekking, stumbled across a nearby village. They knocked on any door and received the most welcoming hospitality – shelter complete with warm food, and no money or thanks required!

The rain finally subsides at around 8.15pm to allow us out for dinner, but the town is already dead – everything is closed and not a person is in sight – not much nightlife in this town! Thanks to our lucky stars, one late restaurant saves us from going hungry.

Back at the lodge, the entire building and all its contents rock to a rather strong tremor – quite alarming! I wonder if we are witness to the Himalayas growing! Now I understand why there are “What to do in case of an earthquake” handbooks everywhere.

26 May

Pelling is another settlement. The place is made up of concrete hotels and restaurants run by Bengalis and Biharis who had to relocate for work. Here is a tourist town established due to the extr-aordinary Kangchendzonga mountain range views possible and a few natural and manmade places of interest scattered around the area.

Among them are the famous Pemayangtse Monastery, the Sanga-Choling Monastery dating from 1697 AD and the Rabdentse Ruins, the mountain-top remains of what used to be the second capital of Sikkim until 1814 AD.

27 May

Pelling is packed with middle-class Indians on vacation, who must display how well off they are by overly decorating their bodies and speaking English; they remind me of some Maltese!

They seem to like to tick places to see off a list and travel agents organise shared-jeep tours following the same schedules so that each tourist attraction is flooded with about 15 jeeps and 150 tourists trying to take a picture at the same time! Wonderful!

The people who run the Garuda hotel, however, are “local” Tibetan Buddhists.

I am most amused by the blind, old lady preparing smouldering wood in a special fireplace, on which she burns white powder and sprinkles water that has been stirred with peacock feathers.

It turns out that the white powder is wheat flour, burnt so that the fumes can feed the ghosts and keep them satisfied!

The ritual concluded, she continues about her day, spinning her prayer wheel with her right hand and chanting mantra on her beads with her left.

Interestingly though, despite the more prominent show of Buddhism, statistics reveal that Hinduism is still the most prominent religion in Sikkim. Practically this is revealed mainly by the red line drawn along the centre parting of a married woman’s hair despite her almond eyes.

31 May

Internet is non-existent or dead slow out west so I am forced a five-hour journey to Gangtok due to my commitment of sharing this diary!

I am happy to reunite with my friends, especially Nima whose mouth drops open in surprise, but most of all to find Lenny and Miki, my friends from Malta!

The appearance of Lord Buddha today is celebrated all over Sikkim, and Gangtok’s is marked by a procession. People are traditionally dressed for the occasion of being blessed by the holy scriptures – a colourful event beyond description!

Can I ever cease to be amazed by the diversity of peoples, culture and tradition of this incredible India?

The first nine episodes of Melanie Drury’s diary of her visit to India were published on 22 January, 5 and 19 February, 5 and 26 March, and 9 and 23 April, and 7 and 21 May.