Whoever conned the phrase “quaint and tranquil village” when referring to places like Qrendi, Mqabba, Safi, Kirkop, Gudja and so on, needs to come and stay for a few summer days in one of them to realise that this is not so. For example, today is the feast of St Catherine, and here in Gudja we can digest every petard that is being let off in Zurrieq and this will go on till after midnight.

This is not a one-day occurrence; no, it starts in the middle of May and continues till the middle of October, more or less on daily basis. In each of these villages one finds that there are two to three feasts. In Gudja, for example, we have three – Santa Maria, Ta’ Ruzarju and Ta’ Cintura – one nosier than the other. They always try to outdo each other. So please, do not con the house hunter; one will find no tranquillity in any of these villages.

And, of course yesterday the hunting season opened, and the shooters will make sure that by 5am you are wide awake to sort of participate in their ghastly pastime, and that is not all… if you happen to dose off between the hours of 5am and 7am, then the baker will make sure that at 7am, you are wide awake by hooting his horn incessantly right by your bedroom window.

Amid all this, the Church will step in by setting up loudspeakers in almost every corner of our streets. I am always regaled with a pair less than 10 metres away from my front door, one facing east, one west. There is nothing quaint about loudspeakers; they are just irritating. When I politely asked the parish for their removal, I was told that the purpose of loudspeakers is for people to be able to pray in unison. Sorry, if I want to pray, I go to Church; why bring it to my home?

For goodness’ sake this is the 21st century, when will we ever learn? When will we ever move away from this medieval reasoning?

Laurence Schembri

Gudja