There’s one sure-fire way of telling when an international break is coming up ­ just start counting the number of England players who are injured.

It’s starting to look like Steve McClaren is truly jinxed. Two more crucial qualifiers on the immediate horizon and his players are dropping off like flies.

So far the injury list is as follows: Gary Neville, Michael Carrick, Keiron Dyer, Owen Hargreaves, Emile Heskey, Dean Ashton and Andy Johnson. On top of that, John Terry will have to dress up like an Olympic skier if McClaren risks him and Michael Owen is so fresh from his latest operation he may need to ask his opponents to wear surgical masks just in case.

On the positive side, Frank Lampard is back in action although that could also be considered a negative if it means McClaren messes with the team to include the Chelsea midfielder and Steven Gerrard.

Victories over Estonia on Saturday and then Russia on Wednesday would all but secure England’s passage into next summer’s finals and mark the completion of a spectacular turnaround for both England and McClaren who both looked down and out just a couple of months ago.

With that in mind, and given his track record of inspiring otherwise healthyplayers to end up on the treatment table, I would suggest McClaren cancels all training for the rest of the week and locks all his players up in their rooms.

There’s too much at stake to be worrying about daft things like freedom and human rights.

* * *

Well that’ll teach me.

Last month I was complaining about the English nation’s inability to get past a quarter final in any just about every sport ­ football, cricket,

women’s football, rugby.

But then, against all the odds, the rugby team manage to do just that by beating Australia to make it through to the semi-finals this weekend.

I am not a big rugby fan but I have to admit it is quite exciting when an England team everybody has written off defies the formbook to come through.

Although it was not a vintage performance by Brian Ashton’s team in terms of style, it was just that in terms of passion, heart and desire.

Once again England had Johnny Wilkinson to thank for their victory over the Ozzies as the glamour boy of the English game kicked all their 12 points.

Now they face the French in this weekend’s semi-final and their opponents will crucially have home advantage making them the undoubted favourites.

Then again, so were Australia.

* * *

Hilarious story of the week, if not the month, comes once again from the heady depths of English non-league football.

Lynam FC, a Sunday League team, decided it was the players’ bog standard, run-of-the-mill, ordinary names that were at fault for a poor run of form.

So, in a display of dedication to the cause that would have most Premier League players crying into their Armani suits, the entire team changed their names by deed poll into those of international stars.

Imagine the surprise on their opponents’ faces when the Lynam FC team sheet was handed in and included Kaka, Ronaldinhio, Henry and Van Nisterooy.

Sadly, the move didn’t seem to have the desired effect and they still crashed out of the cup to local rivals The Iron Horse, losing 5-1.

That prompted team captain John Terry (formerly known as Ian Flett) to utterwhat must go down in history as one of the all time great post-match comments.

“It was tough because it was Ronaldinhio’s birthday the night before, Thierry and Ruud smoke 20 a day and Gerrard is always half cut on a Sunday,” he said.

Absolutely bloody fantastic.

* * *

I must say that Formula 1 has taken a turn for the better this season, at least in terms of excitement.

How many times in the past decade has the competition gone down to the last race with not just two but three drivers all vying for the title? Never, to my knowledge.

But that’s the position we find ourselves in going in to the Brazilian Grand Prix in a couple of weeks time.

Of course it could have been very different if Lewis Hamilton hadn’t spun off on his way into the pits during last Sunday’s race. A victory or even a good finish would probably have been enough to secure the championship for

the rookie Englishman.

But it wasn’t to be and now, despite Alonso’s claims to the contrary, I think the tide may have just turned in the Spaniard’s favour.

True, Hamilton is four points clear of his team mate and a further three ahead of Raikkonen. But both his rivals have considerably more experience and I think that could be crucial going into the last race.

I could be wrong. After all Lewis has dealt admirably with the pressure so far this season.

But I just get a sneaky feeling last Sunday’s race was Lewis’ best chance of making history by becoming the first driver ever to win the title in his first season.

Either way, it sure makes that final race decidedly exciting. And that must be a huge relief to Bernie Ecclestone after so many years of supreme, predictable dullness.

Contact James on: [email protected]