From Mr J. Schembri

Daphne needs to re-write her article about the part regarding the Cana marriage preparation courses. As a journalist she should have checked her facts before writing because some of her sweeping statements are downright myths.

At the Cana marriage preparation courses, the leader couples do everything but teach. As leader couples, our main objective is to promote discussion among the engaged couples between themselves and in small groups. What is discussed in the small group between these couples is meant to remain confidential. Among the subjects covered there are: communication, sexuality, family planning, morality and Catholic values.

As a leader couple we share our life experiences with a group of six couples, and I have to say that we learn a lot from them too.

If an engaged couple discovers that there are serious differences on certain aspects of married life, should they get married? I hope not. But as a leader couple we cannot intervene, we can only suggest professional counselling. Ironically, our success is measured by the number of relationships that break up after these courses that we sometimes get to know about.

Can you teach marriage? My answer is “yes”, under one condition; there must be love between the couple. The word love seems to be avoided in the article on purpose. I went to learn parental skills after we had our third baby. Did I change my bad attitudes? With a big effort I did change quite a lot, out of love for my family.

As leader couples, we feel hurt when such uninformed articles are written. I like reading Daphne’s provocative articles, especially when they are short and to the point. My vote for this long tiring article is as the Italians say: “un bel zero adornato coi fiori”(a beautiful zero embellished with flowers).

John Schembri

ZURRIEQ