Since my column last week, a new billboard has gone up. “The People’s Princess”, oops sorry, I mean “The People’s Prime Minister”, is now being seen against a backdrop of a brilliant blue sky and green rolling hills, for all the world as if he is just about to burst into a refrain from The Sound of Music. It seems harmless enough as a billboard, albeit a bit cheesy. But then we find out that the whole thing, including the “everything is possible” slogan was ripped off from French Prime Minister Sarkozy’s campaign.

Good grief… are we doomed to be copycats in everything? On the one hand we have both the winning song Vodka and its singer Morena sounding and looking a bit too much like Ruslana’s Wild Dances… Klinsmann’s Go is being compared to Busted’s Air Hostess… and now this!

What is puzzling about the copying of someone else’s slogan is that it’s not usual for the PN to make such gaffes. Seems to suggest that things are being done in too much of a hurry; in a blind panic even.

It’s also significant that this new dazzling poster is all about Dr Gonzi, and that no mention is made of the Nationalist Party entourage. Careful, Lawrence, you are starting to appear a bit too self-absorbed: it’s all about me, me, me, me, and me.

* * *

Is the government really sure it should be bragging about all those people queuing up for its cheap offer of broadband? This administration seems to be sending us mixed messages. If all of us have never had it so good, and the economy is booming (finanzi fis-sod, or so they tell us), then presumably we should all be able to afford Internet at commercial prices. So why on earth would so many people drag themselves out of bed at the crack of dawn and queue for hours and hours to take up this government handout? It was like a throwback to Victory Kitchen days if you ask me.

And why is all this charitable goodness coming now, when the general election is around the corner (which reminds me: is this election date going to be announced or what? Helloooo… anybody there?).

If you were cynical you would say this freebie was just a ploy to buy votes. But on second thoughts, nah, not a Nationalist government – it just doesn’t do those kinds of things! How dare you even suggest it. As if.

A Nationalist government is pure and holy and only has altruistic intentions, and is not opportunistic or self-serving, desperately clinging on to its last days of power with its fingernails, like those “jaqq” Labour types.

Darling, a Nationalist government is really, the only option this country has, because there is absolutely no alternative, no other way in which this country could be run – frankly there should be a law passed so that only the PN should govern Malta, Gozo, Comino and Filfla forever and ever.

Amen.

* * *

The gloves are definitely off.

Those PN ads (the text of which seems to be getting longer and longer) have stopped mildly referring to “Labour” and are now back to targeting The Man himself in acerbic tones: “If Alfred Sant has his way” and “the condescending Alfred Sant”, and so on.

Oh oh. Whoever is writing this PR seems to be virtually frothing at the mouth at the mere thought of Sant being back in Castile.

I’ve often heard it said that, “if only Labour got rid of that man Alfred Sant at its helm, it would all be very different and people wouldn’t mind voting MLP” (pardon me, while I stop choking on my muesli).

But wait a minute: hasn’t the PN’s boast always been that Alfred Sant is their greatest asset?

So which is it… do they want him to stay so that they will definitely win, or do they want him replaced… so that they will, what, lose?

It’s just me and my little observations but it seems to me that if Sant was no great threat to their seat of power, the PN would not be in such a frenzy right now. Same goes for those-former-Nationalists-who-have dared-to-complain like Jo Said, et al. If they are “nobodies” and “not to be taken seriously”, why spend so much time and effort to issue vitriolic statements running them down?

* * *

And now, for something much more important.

Amid all the juicy gossip of whether Klinsmann’s song was really sent to the EBU for verification that it was not copied (the singer said it was but the MaltaSong chairman Robert Abela said it wasn’t), there was one burning question which has been consuming the entire nation for a week….

WHAT ON EARTH IS MORENA SAYING?!

So, as a public service, so that you can sing along with her on Eurovision night, here I bring you the words to Vodka:

Nastarovje

Hey hey hey hey hey hey

Nastarovje

Hey hey hey hey hey

The hunt is still on

Here in Gorky Park

I’m in a danger zone

Everywhere is pitch dark

I’m running away

To a blanket of snow

Spy One to Spy Four

I’ve deciphered the code, yeah...

Vodka – that’s the secret word

Vodka – and they want it so bad

Vodka – I’ve deciphered the code

Got a rush in the head

Vodka – a transparent word

(Nastarovje)

(Hey hey hey hey hey hey)

(Nastarovje)

(Hey hey hey hey hey)

Cold blood drums within

They breathe down my neck

Spy One to Spy Four

We just have to connect

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