No one can deny that it is innate in human nature to argue. When someone challenges your authority, your opinion or your knowledge, it is absolutely normal that your first reaction would be to assume a defensive posture or attitude.
How vociferously and determinedly you defend your point of view usually depends on how sure you are of yourself or how strenuously and actively the other person raises the question.
Referees are not expected (some would, on the contrary say they are in fact allowed) to argue. In all but the rarest of cases, referees are supposed to turn a deaf ear to criticism and arguments, thereby letting all the comments eventually bounce off them like bullets off a bullet-proof vest.
This is definitely, and has also been at times proven to be, one of the most difficult aspects of refereeing. However it is also one of the most important.
In everyday disputes, it maybe satisfying for an average person to get in the last word or come up with a statement that leaves the other person speechless. If a referee takes that habit onto the court or field of play, he will soon develop a reputation as a smart nobody.
Right or wrong, referees are instead expected to be above such pettiness and small-mindedness. In reality, absorbing a certain amount (please note I never mentioned and am not referring to the words total abuse) of verbal abuse from coaches and players is considered part of the job.
It would be wonderful to know exactly how much to take, but that is not humanely possible. The best a referee can do is end the argument as quickly as possible before things could get completely out of control.
A phrase that has been advised by experts and which I found out can end many arguments regarding judgment calls is, “Coach, if it happened the way you say it did, then I got it wrong.” It normally works because the referee is not admitting a mistake, putting up a defense or ignoring the coach completely.
Only a coach who wants to argue for the fun of it or is trying to intimidate a referee will eventually continue an argument after hearing that phrase. Any coach with those motives then deserves to be ignored or be deal with according to the game rules.
Whether the issue is a rule or a judgment call, the coach may also ask you, as the referee, to get help from a partner or any other member of the refereeing team. My advice is not to be bullied into such a type of discussion, but if you are unsure and believe another official can help, go for help.
It always pays that the referee tries to develop a good rapport with all the game participants (at times this may be impossible due to the innate and instinctive nature of some players and/or coaches who develop a sort of barrier and do not allow any sort of humane communication and/or sharing of views with the referee and immediately take a negative, if not a hostile and antagonistic, stance). However one does not need to be overly friendly.
A referee should also always think about perceptions arising from his on behaviour. If you, as a referee, are talking extensively and laughing with Coach A like you are longtime friends, what does Coach B think? This example highlights the fact that one should keep conversations professional and brief. If a coach or player has a legitimate question or concern, take the time to explain the situation. Above all, do not try to avoid and dodge all questions because as the saying goes, “the longer you ignore it, the longer it lasts”.
Before concluding I must highlight also that there is another factor in the argument equation: the player. As important as it is for a referee to learn how to handle an argument, it is equally important for a player to learn how to argue.
It is no secret that players must learn. Certain forms of arguing are not acceptable at any level, regardless of the sport. The most obvious is making physical contact with a referee during an argument. Other no-no’s (depending on the players’ skill level, age and league rules) include: Using the words “you” or “you’re” in front of a negative term or waving/flapping the arms and legs or even swearing loudly enough for fans, etc. to hear or even tossing around any of the game equipment. All the latter are forms of dissent that should be taken care of consistently by all referees.
Here we go again
After the customary winter break, the ball is about to start rolling for another waterpolo season..
The customary pre-season competition, the Winter League will start tomorrow with all the games played at the National Swimming Pool complex in Tal-Qroqq.
One augurs for an interesting season and may all the teams offer their best so that there will balanced and hard fought encounters.
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