This is not meant as any offence against the valid candidates who have come forward for the three pivotal leadership posts of the party.

But I am sure that some humour and wry comments at this moment in time will not do anyone any harm.

I always thought that a meal among friends was the best way to unwind after the electoral and post electoral stress, but believe you me nothing beats the experience of the Conferment of the Degree of Doctor of Literature (Honoris Causa) on Maestro Roberto Benigni at the Church of the University in Valletta.

The oration by Dr Gloria Lauri Lucente, whom I never had the honour to meet so far, was a gem in itself.

Rather than a simple oration it read more like a four and a half page thesis on Benigni that managed to draw parallels in the same breath between Pirandello, Dante and Pinocchio.

Had more MPs, ministers and people involved in politics attended they would have experienced what Dr Lauri Lucente described as a unique artist who enables us to suspend our disbelief and draws us into a fantasy world where everything is dreadful and everything is joyous, where everything is sad and everything is funny, or as Luigi Pirandello would have put it, where everything is fable and everything is true.

It takes a genius indeed “to make us laugh till we cry and cry till we laugh”.

I must confess many of us present did both in less than an hour or so.

If Benigni had to run for leader of a political party he would run roughshod on the following without spilling any blood while keeping everyone rollicking in the aisles.

• He would have ensured that state broadcasting did not take sides as it has already done in the race;

• He would not have accepted staunch supporters of a particular candidate to pose as independent observers or commentators on the same station;

• He would have ensured that his party’s machine, electoral commission, media, and structures did not tilt any way either by design, default or through sheer incompetence;

• He would have insisted that all his competitors came clean by spelling out their real plans clearly, specific time frames included;

• He would have said stop to any mind games or game plans and dug beneath the surface to ferret out what they really meant by what they said or even worse, refused to say or commit themselves to;

• He would have insisted that they would all bind themselves to confront in a firm, pro-active, reasonable but no-nonsense manner the present Prime Minister from the parliamentary benches without any undue delay so that all of them can commit themselves to stand up to be counted rather than passing the buck;

• He would have expected all candidates to be eager to have a say in how to react to the government’s parliamentary proposals rather than having anyone sitting on the fence, hoping that the hatchet job will be carried out by someone else before he or she takes over;

• Benigni would not have tolerated any perversions of the truth especially when we have flashbacks to 10 years or more where versions clash, coincide and contrast with one another;

• How would Benigni have reacted had one of the prospective deputy leader contenders claimed that before taking the plunge he wanted to consult his spiritual director while another one suggested that one of the first persons who should address the House of Representatives should be the Archbishop of Malta?

Benigni thanks Dante for having taught him about the paradox of life. The moment he takes up residence in Malta he will forget all about Dante and discover for himself what the paradox of life really means, since we are all living it and experiencing it on a daily basis 24 hours a day.

Even if after all he decides not to run, he can always hang around and stay on in Malta as consultant to the Minister for Broadcasting, the respectable Minister Cristina, who might find that handling the can of worms in certain quarters at PBS might prove to be far more of a poisoned chalice than handling effectively all those who used to try and abuse benefit fraud in her days responsible for Social Services.

Every party has its doctors of spin. They have become part and parcel of the game.

But surely State Broadcasting can ill afford to jump on such a bandwagon, especially when people with direct vested interests continue to hone to perfection skills they had when still working in the private sector.

I am all for a media friendly approach. But there are limits to tolerance.

In the oration Pinocchio was described as Dante’s “double”.

We do not need any homegrown Pinocchios on our little island, especially when there happen to be enough political currents and cross currents at play.

To end on a positive note Benigni will have surely found comfort in the fact that while one prospective candidate intends to lead by example by involving the other contestants if he wins and helping them if he loses, another front runner stated that he is prepared to serve whoever may be elected leader, in any position or role as the new leader himself may suggest or propose. I am confident and hopeful that the other contestants will do the same.

If only Benigni extended his stay in Malta by a couple of days he could have even marched together with the other contestants as one team on 1 May!

email: [email protected]

Leo Brincat is a Labour MP

This article was submitted prior to a tongue-in-cheek Sunday Times cartoon with the same name which appeared two days ago