In the Bible there is some clear teaching concerning forgiveness. Jesus taught us that unless we forgive others, our Heavenly Father will not forgive us. “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matt 6, 12). In a word, transcendental forgiveness is dependent on horizontal forgiveness. “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt 6, 14-15).

Forgiveness does not happen instantaneously. Rather it tends to be a discovery, or a result of a continual healing process. When a person does not forgive, it is not just because s/he does not have the will power to forgive. Sometimes the wounds are so deep that they literally suffocate any initiative for forgiveness to take place.

Many have the wrong impression that forgiveness is merely something that we do. Forgiveness shows that we have a positive self-esteem of ourselves. It is a sign of maturity in us since we no longer build our identity on something that happened to us in our lives in the past. Through forgiveness we start understanding that our injuries make part of who we are, but never can they define who we are as a whole.

When we forgive we acknowledge that it is not healthy to let ourselves be consumed by hatred and resentments, or to punish those who have hurt us in order to make them suffer as much as we went through. We all know that hatred, anger, and vengeance are vicious circles that necessarily lead to the destruction of both the victim, and mostly of the one who harbours them.

Since punishing the offenders does not produce the intended healing for the offended, forgiveness becomes the letting go of accumulated rage and resentment as well as the best employment of that energy that was once devoured by the aforementioned negative feelings and actions. As a result one is better able to keep on going with her/his life. When we truly forgive we are the first who reap the lifegiving fruits of forgiveness, as Jesus assured us, “Forgive, and you will be forgiven” (Lk 6, 37).

Fr Mario Attard OFM Cap

San Gwann