Few of us are as pure as the driven snow, least of all me.

But things are getting a bit out of hand when statistics show that almost 20 per cent of children born in 2007 have “father unknown” on their birth certificate.

It’s all becoming a bit too much like those trashy Jerry Springer shows with the title Who your baby Daddy? in which (invariably) obese, hillbilly teenagers try and recall which one of the 10 men they had slept with could have possibly fathered their child.

The number quoted for Malta is disturbingly high, pointing to a generation of foolish, promiscuous girls who can’t even be bothered with contraception for their own self-protection.

It also means we either have a lot of what are called “deadbeat Dads” (Dads who don’t want to acknowledge, let alone support their children) or else something else is clearly going on.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that, once you peel the veneer off this statistic, there is another, murkier story: the “it-pays-to-be-a-single-mother-for-social-benefits” story. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has heard of countless instances where the father is very much in the picture but deliberately stays on the periphery so that the mother will qualify for state help.

It’s bad enough to think of a generation of little kiddies running around with no one to call “Daddy” – what’s even worse is having a whole sector of society that has figured out a way to screw the system.

During the last election I saw a billboard by Azzjoni Nazzjonali in which a little boy was shown asking why his Daddy’s name was “unknown father”. Although I don’t agree with most of their politics, that AN billboard was one of the most effective of the whole campaign, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

It’s all very easy for calculating mothers-to-be to do their sums and conclude that it’s best to play the “single mother” card and cash in on all the government handouts – but one day this child will need his birth certificate. What will she say to him – that it was financially more rewarding to pretend Daddy took off? That these days, it’s not worth the bother of getting married, because otherwise you won’t get on the list for social housing and the other myriad welfare schemes?

Something tells me it is going to be pretty hard to teach that child the difference between right and wrong when he has just witnessed his very first example of the fact that lying and cheating do pay after all.

I looked up some figures on what this social assistance consists of:

“The maximum rate of assistance is e90.78 (Lm38.97) per week for a parent with one child. This is increased by a further e8.15 (Lm3.50) per week for each additional child. If rent is paid for the house of residence, an allowance of e1.16 (Lm0.50) per week is added to the entitlement. A weekly additional bonus of e3.12 (Lm1.34) and a six monthly bonus of e135.10 (Lm58) is payable to beneficiaries of Social Assistance... A single parent may earn up to e48.12 (Lm20.66) per week and still receive the full entitlement of Social Assistance.”

Now this sounds a bit too close to the poverty line for most of us, and for genuine cases it really is a meagre amount. But when you add on the children’s allowance per child, free or subsidised housing and the fact that this low-income household does not pay income tax or any electricity surcharge, the picture shifts.

If the “unknown father” is, in reality, actually supporting the single mother, then the picture shifts even more. If the mother is somehow also managing to earn more than the minimum limit without declaring anything (the infamous black economy) – well then it is a whole different kettle of fish.

Is it any wonder that middle class married people with kids seethe at all this? As a friend of mine tells me: “Is this fair? I did everything by the book, got married first and then had my children, and my husband and I both work hard to make ends meet – and yet the people being “rewarded” are those who have made a mess of their lives and expect me to pay for their mistakes.”

The outrage escalates when these single mothers are seen flaunting the latest mobile, expensive nail art and “trendy” hairstyles.

There is a growing resentment among law-abiding taxpayers, who feel they are slogging away only to see their taxes being frittered away to support those whom they see as freeloaders. And, as with everything else, everyone gets lumped in the same basket: those who are truly deserving of welfare are unfortunately viewed with as much suspicion and scorn as those who are swindling us all.

In a similar vein, people are also questioning the figure of 30,000 households that are exempt from the surcharge. Most of us are taxed to our eyeballs and yet it seems that a substantial chunk of the population is getting a free ride.

The upshot of all this boils down to a simple question: is it really so difficult to trace those who are abusing the system?

Great expectations

Yes, people do expect a lot from Mater Dei. Do you blame them?

First, the government hypes up the marvels of this new, expensive hospital to the extent that it was practically inviting the public to get sick on purpose so that they can experience it for themselves. Then, when everyone flocks there, all hell breaks loose, because, obviously, the staff cannot cope.

Now we are being told to go back to the health centres (remember those?) or refer to our GP first.

Fair enough – if an ailment is not serious, no one in their right mind would prefer to wait for five or more hours in a waiting room full of sick people. However, what is irking the tax-paying public the most is that so much money was squandered on superficial things like doors, that there was not enough money left over to invest in what really counts: human resources. Now reality has slapped the government smack in the face as doctors leave for better paid posts in other countries and the ones that are left have to shoulder the burden of more and more patients. Doctors and nurses as well as other staff are understandably exhausted, frustrated, ill-tempered and ready to snap and, what is worse, potentially serious mistakes are being made.

Patients are understandably annoyed, angry and unable to comprehend why they were promised state-of-the-art service in this grand hospital (for which they are paying) when this is patently not feasible.

I know Einsteins are in short supply, but you don’t really need to be a genius to have seen all this coming. Foolish and gullible are they who are taken in by political propaganda, and yet it’s amazing how many people seem to fall for it every time.

Have a nice day

There was a series on BBC Prime called Grumpy Old Women, in which well-known ladies such as Germaine Greer, Janet Street-Porter and India Knight sounded off on what really, really irks them in today’s society. It was a very funny, witty documentary in which you begin to recognise the telltale signs that, yes, you are getting older.

I think I’m on my way to becoming a grumpy old woman because the list of my pet hates seems to be getting longer. Rudeness is at the top of this list.

A trip to the passport office recently brought me face-to-face with the epitome of the Typical Government Employee. A young lady who, although it was first thing in the morning, was already in such a foul, uncommunicative mood that the few questions I asked her were met with something close to a snarl. She never made eye contact once, spoke in monosyllables, and treated my perfectly legitimate queries as if they were the most moronic questions she had ever heard.

Can I send someone else to collect my passport? “Trid tigi int!” (You have to come).

When can I collect it? “Saturday, hux!” (said in tones of, isn’t it bleeding obvious you twit?)

Will you be contacting me to say it’s ready? “No, Saturday!”

It was like being confronted with a Rottweiler. I hate to think what mood she was in by the end of that day.

She would have been perfectly cast in the role of a prison warden who deals with dangerous criminals. But as the “face” of the passport office, where she is meeting the public, she is clearly in the wrong job.

Maybe it’s time Ministers sent someone “under cover” to government departments such as these, kind of like the “mystery guest” used by hotels to check up on

customer service.

They need to be informed on exactly how the average person is treated by public officials, and follow this up with an intensive customer care course. I can even suggest some lecture titles:

“How not to bite the head off your customer”.

“The use of the Maltese term of endearment ‘hi’, and why it is so wrong”.

“Why smiling can be fun”.

“The volume of your voice and people’s eardrums – a comparative study.”

“Eye contact and its uses for effective communication.”

And finally... “If you hate your job so much – please resign”.

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