I was quite taken aback by the tough response to Mgr Charles Vella’s statement that he does not fear divorce if people intending to get married are well prepared beforehand.

Mgr Vella’s statement has made a lot of people think. For while it is inevitable that some forms of marriage will still break down, however thorough the preparation and noble the intention, on the other hand one cannot but be puzzled by the increasing number of breakdowns which seem to suggest that today’s couples have concluded that the only way to solve marital problems is to walk out.

Of course, the permissive climate in which we now live, the doctrine that right and wrong are a matter of personal judgement, the sexual imagery that seems to underpin every aspect of society, the thirst for more and more wealth and the celebrity-style living that this seems to bring with it, the secularisation of society, the independence that women have rightly achieved but which means that both parents are out at work all day and seem more than ready to consign their parental duties to the hired help, are all factors which have contributed to the present state of affairs.

Divorce is certainly no solution except in the case of the seriously few cases that could be labelled as reasonable and justifiable. And it is precisely what is reasonable and justifiable which gives rise to the controversy.

From the Prime Minister, who laudably says he fully intends to support the family, to the Archbishop whose duty it is to do so, we keep on hearing words of encouragement. The problem is that while the government can support the family by fiscal incentives, and the Church by marriage preparation courses, neither one nor the other seems to be delivering. Obviously they are not enough.

If we want to really get to grips with the matter we need papers on how to make marriage work as much as we need papers suggesting that divorce is the only answer. It is only then that we can justifiably discuss what type of solutions to introduce, whether we call it divorce or any other name. But please let’s not discuss divorce as if it is the quick answer to the slightest disagreement.

It’s time for those who support the family and marital fidelity to get together to hammer out what line of action needs to be taken. The secular and religious authorities, all those who can contribute seriously to the debate, need to put their heads together and row in unison to analyse our society in the light of today’s realities and propose solutions. It is useless to sit and lament the fall of all that was once perceived as good and proper.

Yes, each one can do his/her bit. It just requires conviction, determination and boldness. But people need trusted leaders of quality to come to the fore and give a practical lead. The loud call of those who preach, praise and publicise infidelity and downright disregard our inherited values, must be matched by the equally loud call of those who wish to preserve a sense of right and wrong and a moral dimension to our life.

Let all those who can help regain our lost values come forth and join forces. Let us all feel we can say that yes, the breakdown of some marriages is inevitable, but we really shouldn’t worry because our society will be strong enough to be compassionate without being carried away by the siren call of what is fashionable today but will be very passé tomorrow.