Anger has been the recurring theme running through news stories this week.
A man angrily breaks his wife’s nose because she cheated on him, and the online comments from some men reveal anger towards women in general. They are upset because the woman “got away” with cheating while the violent husband (who has all their sympathy, by the way) has ended up with a police record.
A woman spray paints her husband’s yacht in fluorescent pink in a fit of (admittedly, creative) rage. The same woman had previously filed a false police report claiming the husband was harbouring a criminal on the same yacht. Again, the online comments speak bitterly and scathingly of women’s penchant for revenge.
A kung fu expert resorts to vicious “Bruce Lee moves” simply because an elderly driver tried to overtake him in what has been described as road rage.
In another story, yet another fight broke out and ended up in court, all because of a parking space.
Anger management
It is normal for us to lose it occasionally as a response to the build up of annoyances and irritations of daily life – in fact, letting off steam is healthy and important for our well being.
I admit to having my own occasional minor bouts of road rage, usually after a stressful day, especially if some male driver tries to patronise me because I’m a woman. Such as when they try and give me instructions as I’m parking, complete with elaborate arm signals – when I haven’t asked for their help. Ejja, hi, ikser kollox sinjura (“come on lady, turn the steering wheel completely”). Then, yes, the choice of expletives which I direct at this wannabe air traffic controller would probably make a sailor blush. But that’s as far as I go.
However, the above stories seem to point to another phenomenon. I can’t help but notice that there are people who seem to be angry all the time.
I was watching a video by a British psychologist who explained that those who are often angry become addicted to this behaviour because, in the short term, like all addictions, it works.
“If you are a frightening, angry person, people back off and you get what you want. The downside of this is that you can become a nasty person whom others try to avoid. You might also lose significant things like jobs, relationships and liberty,” she said.
I found it interesting how she described what happens in road rage. An aggressive driver may feel that he is entitled to his bit of space because he is in his car, but if he feels that others are encroaching on that space, his very body can feel threatened. Thus, he switches to the classic “fight or flight” response but because he’s stuck in his car, he cannot flee. The rage that builds up in a fuming, frustrated driver has nowhere to go, and he is basically putting his own health at risk as his blood pressure rises, putting a lot of strain on his heart. If he gets out of his car to confront someone… well, the above examples tell the rest of the story.
People who use anger as a way of managing their life, the psychologist continued, only have one agenda as their body gets ready for action – that is to hit out at others, either verbally or physically, or both.
As I continued researching the causes of road rage I came across the term “intermittent explosive disorder” which in turn led to another significant piece of information. Road rage, domestic violence, angry outbursts and temper tantrums which involve the throwing or breaking of objects all fall under this definition. The stories quoted above seem to fit this description.
Found mostly in young men, this disorder is characterised by an eruption of violent behaviour completely out of proportion to the situation at hand. The ‘explosion’ usually doesn’t last longer than 20 minutes and is often directed at the destruction of property.
Predictably, this behaviour is often learned (witness how many aggressive young men have fathers who are equally violent), but it can also be the result of a severe personality disorder.
I have absolutely no idea whether we have more than our average share of people prone to this condition, but from the numerous cases of aggression and violence that are being reported, it seems to be quite common.
I wonder whether all this bottled up aggression ready to spill over at the slightest provocation, is also a result of the stress of living on such a cramped, over populated island where we are constantly breathing down each other’s necks. Our balconies bring us face to face with other people’s washing; our windows look over the assorted items in other people’s backyards; our shafts allow our neighbours voices to drift into our living room, reaching us as clear as a bell. We are in each other’s faces and in each other’s business – and all of this is inevitable in such a small space.
Our towns and villages are overbuilt and the long queues of families bundled up in cars out on their Sunday drive are all in search of the same futile pursuit of some wide, open spaces. Maybe that’s why people let loose so much while driving on the coast road; I sometimes think that in their imagination they are travelling overland on some never-ending European highway before stopping for the night in an anonymous big city which will allow them to get away from their everyday lives.
Unfortunately, the furthest point you can get to in Malta is the Cirkewwa ferry.
Talk about a letdown.
Then you board the ferry only to find yourself on an even tinier island, and the realisation that everyone in Malta had the same idea as you, so you are stuck with seeing the same old faces anyway.
I could not help but notice while visiting Australia a few years ago that there is a connection between the vast tracts of unpopulated land and the easygoing and laidback nature of the people. It makes sense really. After all, the worst thing that can cross your path out there in the outback is a kangaroo. And how can you really get angry at a kangaroo?
Look back in anger
Meanwhile on a national level, anger is similarly brewing.
The public is angry at the exorbitant pay off that will be given to the bus drivers.
Teachers are angry because their demands have not been met and the environmental lobby is angry at being ignored.
Businessmen are angry because their huge water and electricity bills have wiped out any possible profits.
Residents in the south of Malta are angry at Mepa because of the power plant extension, the extension of the Freeport, the noise pollution, the black dust and everything else that keeps getting dumped on their part of the island.
Taxpayers are angry at the way their money is being squandered on meaningless ceremonies when there is so much that needs to be done in our health and education sectors.
This is not the short explosive kind of anger, but an accumulation of resentment that will ultimately translate itself into this government being voted out of office.
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