By the time you read this, the winner of the Song for Europe…I mean Malta Song… I mean Malta Euro Song, will have been announced. Can they please decide on a name and stick to it?
Taking part were 12 female soloists, four male soloists, one girl group and three duets, one of them with a puppet. I didn’t watch it this year, but from what I’ve seen of the songs on Youtube, half of them should not have even been there anyway.
There is one group in particular called Foxy Federation whose voices are…. well, let’s just say the genuinely gifted singers at the festival probably felt a bit miffed at having to compete with them.
They’re attractive ladies who know how to strut their stuff, but someone should have told them that this is not America’s Next Top Model, and there’s no reason to strike a pose and look “fierce”. Tyra Banks was not on the panel of judges. Maybe they have been living under the Gonzi government for too long and are under the impression that image really is everything.
This trio were interviewed by one of those Eurovision fans websites, and they actually referred to themselves as Andyfox, Steffifox and Claudifox. I’m not making this up; may the Eurovision goddess strike me down with lightning if I am telling a lie. After giggling about it for a while, I realised it’s kind of catchy, so I am going to ask my friends to start calling me Josiefox.
Although I had my fingers crossed for my favourite song All I need, by r ‘n’ b singer Petra Zammit, I won’t be surprised if it didn’t win, because these kind of songs never do.
As usual, real music has been sacrificed at the altar of festival song safeness.
Even singers whom I normally love, like Pamela, Eleanor Spiteri and Dorothy Bezzina, disappointed me with their choice of song, because I don’t believe they chose material which really showcased their talents.
There will, of course, be the inevitable drama and bickering when the winner is announced. In fact, we already had a flicker of it during rehearsals when one song apparently had six backing vocals instead of the requisite five and the other singers boycotted the dress rehearsal in protest. I know; it’s an outrage to jeopard-ise Malta’s Most Important Song Festival in this way. I was tempted to chain myself to the Ta’ Qali venue, except it’s kind of hard to chain yourself to a tent.
This festival is the Holy Grail for Maltese singers, as the winner is guaranteed to become as famous as you can get on this island. First, you get to have a whole Xarabank programme dedicated to you, which is, let’s face it, the ultimate accolade. You’re followed around by a camera all day long and your family and friends are roped in to gush about you and tell everyone how they knew you would always be a star. Whoever wins gets to do the equivalent of the American chat show circuit, and is invited on every single TV programme to talk about the “meaning” of their song and how they will make us all proud.
Meanwhile, as from today, radio programmes and websites will be buzzing with how “it’s not fair” and “we should change the judging system” because, of course, it is virtually impossible for everyone to agree that the best song won.
The furore will last for a week or so, and then the song festival fever will fizzle out until it’s time for our next national drama.
Ah, you’ve just gotta’ love this country!
The King of Queens
When too many politicians start making too many off-the-cuff statements, someone is bound to make a gaffe. The Prime Minister’s brother, Dr Michael Gonzi, who is also an MP, chose to use a chess metaphor to defend his sibling against what looks like mutiny from the backbench. While it is the “pawns” that lead to victory, he said, the king is always the king, and once he is toppled the game is over.
Ouch.
That didn’t go down too well with an already restless group of Nationalist MPs who, since the election, have been feeling like they were thoroughly used, and summarily discarded, as if they were, well, mere pawns.
Over the last few weeks, the drama queens within the Nationalist administration have been regaling us with what is starting to seem like a soap opera as each new episode unfolds with unexpected twists and turns. An MP voices dissent, but the next day pledges loyalty. As soon as he calms down (or is made to calm down) another one pops out of the woodwork speaking to anyone who will listen. I have never seen so many Nationalist politicians willing to appear on One TV since the station opened.
Funny. It almost reminds me of when Mintoff was being egged on by Net TV journalists and cameras to speak his mind and unleash his tirade against Alfred Sant. Of course, using Mintoff’s personal grudge in this way was completely justified and not at all manipulative or cynical because when the Nationalist Party does it, it is done in the name of Democracy and Truth. (After all, we all know that the Nationalist Party is the one and only natural party that must govern this country for at least the next five generations.)
However, when the Labour Party fans the flames of dissent in the opposite camp it is accused of hypocrisy and wanting power at all costs.
Can we just cut through all this doublespeak once and for all and say it like it is? They both want power at all costs.
Pity us, the poor voters, who are doomed to watch all this from the sidelines, wondering why the two parties seem to have so much energy to fight each other, but never seem to have enough energy to actually bring the country forward. Malta, meanwhile, continues to slide further and further into mediocrity, as the wrong decisions continue to be taken about how our taxes are spent.
No wonder people prefer to bury their heads with diversions such as the Champions League and song festivals.
We root for our favourite team or our favourite singer, and after we squabble about the results for a few days, we go back to our lives, the one area where we still have some control.
And the king will lock himself up in his castle, surrounding himself with those who tell him what he wants to hear, oblivious to the fact that something is very wrong in his kingdom.
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