The cliché ‘a friend of a friend’ has obvious ominous overtones in political and social circles. We are subjected to daily exposure of these charges, even at our place of work – ‘a member of the inner circle’, ‘blue-eyed boys or girls’ and other similar remarks. There are, however, areas where this kind of friendship is above board and should be nourished and cultured between men and men, women and women and women and men. It is independent of the physical elements necessary to the love between husband and wife and can rise to a higher plane than that which those elements sustain. It should be the salt of perfect matrimony but is not dependent upon sex. Aristotle even considered it a virtue: a virtue that transcends class, occupation, colour, race or gender. It is that of friendship.
Catholics tend to think of Jesus in his other nature as their God, their king, their high priest, their prophet, but few would consider him as their friend. Which is unfortunate, because if there is anything that Christ really desires, it is to have an intimate knowledge and deep human companionship with each and every human being. He has a longing to enter the deepest recesses of a man’s soul where one is most himself and most utterly alone. A deep human-to-human emotional relationship can thereby be established, a relationship shaped on the humanity of Christ that the gospels mostly tell us about: “I will not now call you servants; but I have now called you friends”.
We all know that the good friends of our intimate friends are also likely to become our own friends too. It is therefore the way that my compatriots and I would like to extend our hand and heart to His Holiness Benedict XVI. Most of us do not know him on a personal level outside his office. But we can all extend our friendship and love to him as a friend of a dear friend that many of us know so well.
Benedict is visiting our country at a difficult time for the whole universal Church. A few members of the priesthood have been accused and found guilty of performing heinous acts with children that are also performed by members of secular society, as well as by parents of children themselves. Senior members of the Church hierarchy have also irresponsibly failed to protect these children from these priests, as mothers sometimes fail to protect children from their fathers or vice-versa. They both seek here to try to achieve something good by doing something bad. They misguidedly try to protect the good name of the Church or family, which is a good motive in itself, but fail to protect the children themselves, which is manifestly bad. It is a cornerstone of Christian morality that one may not do something bad to achieve something good, as St Paul so clearly teaches us at first hand.
It is a time of humility for the whole Church (and even society) as we struggle to cope with these revelations and issues. But it is not the end of the Church or of our faith and love in God. If anything, the Church will emerge stronger and renewed, after going through these trials, as the past has shown and our love of God made sharper and more focused. People who lose faith in the church and God because of these issues do not really have a very deep faith in God to start with, so this could be a sign for them to re-examine themselves closely too. The Church is made up of human beings and being human there is also an evident dark side to each one of us. But the Church also has the gift of grace and that of the Spirit to transcend such situations. Resurrection is imprinted in its DNA and no one can do anything about that!
St Josemaria Escriva used to say that when everything around you is falling apart consider that as just an illusion, because for God and those who have hope in Him, things never fall apart, they simply fall into place. This is a time for penitence but also for courage and hope – a time of renewal of faith and love. There are signs of the times that we all should watch out for. Even in these difficult times it may be that God is trying to show us something particular. Perhaps to be less apodictic on several issues and more dialectical and understanding of each other and the society we live in. Maybe how best for the Church to better respond to society. Maybe how best to apply celibacy to the priesthood which is lauded in the gospels.
We are living in a world that is becoming increasingly individualistic and emotive in ethical outlook. What is right and what is wrong increasingly depends on our expression of personal feeling and emotion for any particular issue, from divorce to abortion or any other subject that may arise. Maybe the Church needs to show modern society more that, as a communitarian society, it should aim to cultivate those community virtues that make us the people we should be rather than the things we may do. The tradition of the Church in the application of virtues, particularly the cardinal and ultimately the theological ones, should point the way forward.
Dr Michael Asciak MD
BIRKIRKARA