Exactly this time last year I had written about this desperate need of ours to win the Eurovision song contest, and here I am, a year later about to do the same thing again.

This time it’s even worse, of course, because our song did not even make it through to the finals. So if it’s possible, the mass hysteria was taken up a notch or ten.

No sooner had Thea and Big Bird bowed out of the picture, feathers drooping, that a Facebook group was created urging people to boycott the song contest completely by not watching it and by not voting. I was half hoping that it was one of those ironic groups set up in jest, like the ‘Save the Monument’ one, but alas, on clicking on it I found it was all done very much in earnest.

I have no idea how many people obeyed this call for a national protest last night, but at the time of writing the group had almost 8,000 members. The directions were straightforward “don’t vote and don’t allow anyone else to vote”. I’m not sure how this was going to be arranged – perhaps there were flying tackles by the ‘don’t vote’ faction who pounced on every cordless phone and mobile in the house?

Some of the people in this group were urging Chiara, who finally got her big moment to read out the votes, to announce to Europe that “there were no votes from Malta”. Talk about bad luck – I can just imagine Chiara’s reaction, “oh that’s just great, my one chance to say ‘this is Valletta calling’, and no one’s going to be watching!”

Others trotted out the usual hackneyed lament of “we don’t have any neighbours” as opposed, of course, to our former neighbours who in the past voted for Mary Spiteri, Ira Losco and Chiara herself, and who must have drowned out at sea somewhere in the meantime.

This Eurovision obsession is just one part of our national psyche which fascinates and repels me in equal measure. On the one hand, I’m absolutely mesmerised by those who practically collapse into a heap of grief at the prospect of brave, plucky little Malta not being in the finals with the big guns. I can understand being mildly disappointed, but all this drama over a corny song contest floors me every time.

Then at a certain point it stops being so fascinating. I have to force myself to stop reading and listening to the inane comments spouting all sorts of ridiculous conspiracy theories because I’m afraid the sheer stupidity of it all will make me want to commit grievous bodily harm.

The irrational, suspicious Mediterranean mind takes over and paranoia replaces reason: “They’re jealous because we have better singers!” “They don’t really want us in Europe!” “They knew we would win, so that’s why they didn’t vote for us”.

I find that we positively relish whipping ourselves into a frenzy over things like this. Give us a reason to feel hard done by, and out comes our persecution complex, complete with the old “us” versus “the foreigner” mentality which is always there anyway, just below the surface.

I wonder why we find it so difficult to accept that other Europeans are not out to “get” us, and that there is no grand plot to banish tiny Malta forever from the Eurovision pearly gates.

If we cannot take all this heartbreak every time Malta loses, maybe we really should save ourselves some money and anguish, and just not bother. But my hunch is that, despite all this fuss each year when we don’t do well, most people still want the country to take part because nothing quite awakens such fervent patriotism in the average Maltese heart as this event.

It creates a bit of excitement for a week or so, it gives us someone to root for, and it provides us with a topic to hotly argue over at corner shops and during our coffee break.

A friend suggested that the Eurovision is the opium of the masses, and she’s right – it’s alienation on a national scale, giving us something to talk and think about until the next great debate comes along.

I don’t really see anything wrong with that either – it’s fun, let’s face it, to sit at home and analyse the cheesy songs and poke fun at the costumes and the singers, exchanging views with friends via the Internet. In fact, I wish we could have someone with a sense of humour commentating next year, rather than the usual straightforward taking-it-all-so seriously commentary. If we really want to persist in taking part, for the umpteenth time, let’s at least have some fun with it.

Chicken or the egg?

Has the media fuelled the Eurovision frenzy or is it simply feeding off the frenzy which was created by fans? A classic situation of the chicken or the egg. The more the press reports about this event, the more insatiable the fans become. They want more details and that’s what they’re given: from the nail art painstakingly decorated with Swarovski crystals to what appears to be a burgeoning romance for young Thea (no, not even that has remained private).

Should Thea’s failure to make it through the semi-final have made the front pages of all the papers the next day as if it were a national tragedy? Well, let’s put it this way, what were a lot of people talking about on Wednesday? The media has contributed to the hype, that’s true, but I doubt whether the press would continue to report it, or programmes would continue to be produced if people turned off and were simply not interested. It has helped that the young pretty, giggly singer is disarmingly natural and at ease during interviews, with a self-deprecating humour which has served to win over even those who don’t normally care that much about the Eurovision. I admired the fact that, despite her obvious disappointment, she handled the result with great maturity and a sense of sportsmanship.

The ‘should we or shouldn’t we take part’ argument will eventually fizzle out, of course (soon to be replaced by the great World Cup debate), but that is just another facet of our quirky Maltese nature.

We squabble, and fight, and argue and contradict one another, convinced that our way is the best way – no matter what the subject happens to be. Those who are against the Eurovision will continue to demand that the money should be spent to help real musicians or be used for more highbrow culture, while diehard fans will insist that this is the one chance our pop singers have to be seen by millions.

The issue will never be resolved – but then, what ever is?

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