Today it will all be over, for this year at least. I refer of course to the Eurovision song contest, what else? The overrated, over the top extravaganza, the glitzy, cheesy, human circus, the froga (jumble) of misguided patriotism, pedestrian songs, good excuse for a booze up and flag-waving and yet another subject to argue about.

I have never been a Eurovision fan and could never understand what all the fuss is about. I am of course one of a small minority; over 100 million people watch it. But I am used to wading against the tide.

However, I am not alone, a Sunday Times editorial, bravely tried to swim against the current, pointing out that we have many more very talented people who have achieved international recognition, who we should be making a fuss about and whose achievements should be filling the newspaper pages.

But it was a voice in the wilderness, even in its own institution. The Times inundated us with news on Thea. All we needed to be told was what she had for breakfast and how many times she burped.

She is a lovely girl and all that, but the subject overtook all serious issues, to the government’s relief, and was even deemed important enough to take over the online poll that asked the all important question facing us right now: “Why do you think Malta failed to qualify for the Eurovision final: * The song was not good enough. * The performance was not great. * The voting system works against Malta. * There was poor lobbying.

To my annoyance the first time that I would have ticked the “Don’t care” box, the option was not there, which tells me that whoever decides on the poll subject and questions assumes that everybody does care.

According to most comments Thea’s performance was fine, it was the lyrics and backdrop that let her down. “Thea has a good voice but the music and lyrics of her song were ever so forgettable,” said one. “The lyrics of the song were simply hopeless,” said another.

“This song had nothing going for it apart from Thea’s impeccable voice, yet the song was weak at best,” said someone else and “Thea’s song was never a winning song though we could have passed the semi-finals,” concluded another.

One commentator took umbrage at those who said that we should not bother to take part and said, “I’m impressed by how many people despise Maltese culture.” That statement of course is flung at anyone who criticises anything from bird hunting to petards.

A lot is said about culture, but I have yet to see anything representing a nation’s culture, not just our own, on Eurovision. Most performances are very similar and were described, appropriately I think, as “kitsch and most of the music is so boring”.

Besides, my guess is that all the contest does is fuel the rivalries that exist between all European countries, rather than uniting Europeans it brings out the worst idiosyncrasies of each individual nation, not so much on stage of course. There it is all smiles and bonhomie.

Most of the worst backbiting happens behind the scenes, despite all the front of house good-natured fun a lot of unpleasantness goes on in the background. And all that flag waving in the stalls goes against the whole ethos of the European Union.

I am all for a bit of fun, but for some reason that kind of jingoistic enthusiasm disturbs me. I might displease quite a number of people, but my view is that the whole shebang is mediocre as far as music is concerned so I really cannot see why we should get so excited.

Sure some countries do well on choreography, lighting, costumes, props and other gimmicks, but as to music you will never hear a ballad that gets anywhere near a Bob Dylan song.

I mention ballads, because they are the staple Eurovision fare.

No disrespect to Thea and all other singers that have represented Malta, but when has a song that even won a Eurovision contest, in the last couple of decades, been anything remarkable.

We have had good singers represent Malta but the songs, which are after all what the festival is purportedly about just don’t make the grade. As one commentator online summed it up, “although not a very good song, still it was much better than all the others”.

Have we heard anything approaching those of the Sixties, Seventies, and Eighties, when Lulu, Sandie Shaw, Bucks Fizz and Brotherhood of Man dominated the competition? A Rod Stewart or an Amy Winehouse number for example? I would be a fan if that kind of music were on offer.

Abba made some headway through the Eurovision song contest, not that their songs were out of this world, but they are fun and, as Mamma Mia proved through the box office and sales of DVDs, it is what, predominately, women want.

Some men too apparently, former mayor of Zurrieq Ignatius Farrugia told The Times “Whenever I’m not able to make it I feel like I’ve lost a year of my life.” Wow, what dedication. Apparently, he just loves to party and there is nothing wrong with that.

He told Christian Peregin, “We just need to focus on better marketing and communication. We do need better direction, more lobbying, contact making and more consultation with people who understand how the Eurovision works.”

And there I was thinking it was all about the music, when it’s all about commerce and politics after all! In 2008, Sir Terry Wogan, who had hosted the competition for the BBC for 35 years, mostly with his tongue firmly in his cheek, resigned saying the event was “no longer a musical contest” and suggested that Western European countries should also consider pulling out.

His remarks came at the end of a contest that saw the Russian entrant, Dima Bilan, win the contest in the Serbian capital Belgrade thanks to the support of his Eastern European neighbours.

“I don’t want to be presiding over yet another debacle. It is really about national prejudice,” the UK Telegraph had reported, adding that for many, his acerbic wit was the only thing that made it worth watching. That same year, Richard Ross, the Liberal Democrat MP, tabled a Commons motion calling for BBC funding for the contest to be removed.

What one should never do is take the Eurovision song contest as a serious musical event. Of course the ones who make money out of it take it very seriously indeed.

A hell of a lot of money is spent and made on the show (some countries could not participate because they simply could not afford it). Here in Malta, apparently, we can and a €400,000 budget was allocated this year. It is all about cash, large amounts of it. Why do you think Ms Borg of “The House of Grace” was so upset?

If one wants to hear really good music, you do not tune in to Eurovision. On the other hand, if one just wants entertainment and an evening with friends watching the telly, it is good for a laugh.

But viewers should really chill out, lie back and not think of Malta.

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