Shock announcement – Cameron wins 2015 election

So the trade union movement in Britain has got its way and forced a narrow victory for ‘Red Ed’ Miliband Minor over his much more admired elder brother, ex-Foreign Secretary Miliband Major, for the leadership of the Labour Party.

David Miliband, so loved by women in general and Hillary Clinton in particular, won a majority of support among the rank and file party membership as well as his fellow Members of Parliament. However, he was pipped at the post in the election by a handful of votes thanks to the trade unions’ support of his little brother.

The unions have long wanted to get rid of Blair’s ‘New Labour’ and retreat left towards ‘Old Labour’ policies so loved by the party for most of the 20th century. And when Comrade Brown left the stage, following Labour’s worst election result since 1931 in May this year, they saw their chance.

‘Red Ed’ and David were both brought up on the Marxist knee of their father. They both went to the somewhat republican and socialist Cambridge University and became members of the Labour Party before going on to become MPs.

There the little brother stopped following in the footsteps of the elder. David became a New Labour Blairite while Ed joined the more left wing Brown Camp. As we now know, not only did Blair and Brown detest each other but this percolated through tribally to their respective supporters – thus leaving the two brothers on deeply divided and opposing sides in Britain’s most dysfunctional, incompetent and corrupt government in modern democratic history.

Eventually, the electorate threw out this ‘rump’ Parliament and Brown understandably had to resign. Therefore, leadership elections were called for. David Miliband was easily the most high profile and fancied candidate. However, despite apparently deeply loving his sibling, ‘Red Ed’ threw his hat into the ring against his brother on the promise of union support.

His campaign was that ‘New Labour’ was dead. The public had spoken and people wanted the Labour Party to move back to their traditional working class roots. The Labour membership and most MPs did not buy this but, quite naturally, left wing union leaders, who had nicknamed Tony Blair ‘Tory Blair’, due to his Conservative policies, did.

They would support Ed and in return he would deliver a move to the left which would delight them. They could then look forward to wonderful ideological party conferences; happy working class people singing the ‘Red Flag’ while planning more nationalisation; higher public expenditure irrespective of the budget deficit; 99 per cent top rate tax for the ‘toffs’ and the scrapping of existing legislation which prevents union leaders from acting arbitrarily and so allowing them to once again hold the public to ransom at will. How orgasmic!

Unfortunately, for the Labour Party, while some may feel more at home in such an environment, the chance of the British public wanting to move in such a direction is extremely remote.

You see, the reason that ‘New Labour’ lost the election was because no one was really sure if it was more corrupt than incompetent. It was not that they were too right wing. If they were why did the Conservative Party, to the right of Labour, defeat them in the general election?

Tony Blair, as long ago as 1994, had realised that Margaret Thatcher had moved millions of people into her voting camp by giving working class people middle class aspirations in a meritocracy. He moved the Labour Party to the right as the only realistic way of gaining power and created New Labour. He succeeded and went on to win three elections, which ensured his party was in power for 13 years. This was a considerable feat.

Indeed, if he and Brown had produced less corrupt and more competent administrations, which were not so obsessed by infighting, they may still be in power today. However, they did not and the British now have a new radical and apparently honest coalition government.

As with all losing political parties there followed some soul searching and a lot of navel contemplation. Somehow, not enough people saw the own goal that was coming.

By allowing the unions to once more hijack their party and move it to the left, the Labour Party has possibly ensured that Mr Cameron (and perhaps Liberal Democrat Leader and Deputy Prime Minister of the Coalition Mr Clegg) will have a second five-year term, irrespective of how unpopular the new government will undoubtedly become in 2011 when the public expenditure cuts bite.

So, Labour have not only probably condemned themselves to years in idealistic opposition by incorrect positioning, but also rejected the one man who might have run David Cameron close in 2015. They have become even lamer by once more shooting themselves in the foot. History so often repeats itself doesn’t it!

“The working class stays on its arse when the red flag flies here” will no doubt be wailed now for years to come in splendid isolation. Perhaps a blessing for the rest of Britain actually!

Banks – oh banks,

how we hate you!

The world banking crisis of 2008 has caused universal hatred of bankers as people worldwide perceive that the global recession was triggered by the greed of large international banks.

Of course there is an element of truth in this and naturally bankers’ $1 million bonuses and so on were always going to provoke massive resentment as the effects of their actions caused trillions of dollars of tax payers’ cash to be employed to rescue banks and thus prevent a worldwide collapse of the banking community and keep economies funded.

Having to watch these greedy chaps receive hefty bonuses from government funds for busting their bank, which was now being also propped up by the public purse, seemed to the majority of the common folk all too hard to swallow.

Indeed, however much governments across the globe tried to explain that, if they capped these bonuses for such evil chaps, they would just simply up and leave to another bank somewhere else on the planet where bonuses were not capped, the people would not buy it.

As there is, currently, no international agreement and therefore law on this issue the governments had a point, but it was always going to fall on deaf ears. People simply do not see why public expenditure cuts needed to be made which would affect their standard of living and could cost them their job just because of bankers’ reckless behaviour – who seemed, in turn, to be rewarded for their irresponsible actions, at the public’s expense.

It is true that banks were reckless. But it is also true that governments turned a blind eye to this as they basked in an artificial global growth. And it is further true that world consumers (i.e. us) were also responsible because we accepted the cash that was being thrown at us and, like spoilt kids, spent it all on mindless consumerism rather wealth creation.

Therefore, it is probable that the world economy has lived beyond its means for the last decade by perhaps as much as six per cent per annum.

The world is merely a large family. In 2008 it exceeded the limit on its credit card and this triggered a family financial crisis. The parents (governments) pointed the finger at wicked Uncle Henry (banks) for irresponsibly chucking money at the kids (us) and we, having spent the lot, just blamed Uncle Henry for letting us have the cash in the first place.

Some parents, like ‘Big Ears Obama’ and ‘Comrade Brown’, told their friendly bank manager (IMF) that they would allow their family to spend their way out of the crisis. Some of these parents have got, and others will get their, credit cards withdrawn (by the electorate).

Other, more sensible parents, like Sarkozy, Cameron and Merkel have been praised by their bank manager for letting it be known that their families intend to live within their means in future and will drastically reduce their debt.

The lesson is simple. Economics is more straightforward than most people imagine. If an individual, a family, a company or a nation runs up debts it will have to face the day of reckoning. In order to borrow money at any level anywhere on planet earth you will always need income and capital. The first demonstrates your ability to repay and the second provides security to your lender.

If you have neither or are borrowing at a level above both then, whether you are an individual or the global economy, it will end in tears. So hate bankers if it makes you feel better but as you apportion blame don’t forget to look into the mirror. Here endeth the lesson.

Ireland hits the headlines at last

Well as you know, over the last two-and-a-half years Ireland has hardly featured on these pages. Little that is compared to Mugabe’s genocide Zimbabwe; murdering Putin’s ticking time bomb Russia; little Bonaparte’s gypsy bashing France; ugly Angela’s hard working but utterly boring Germany; the Generals’ children torturing Burma; Comrade Brown’s incompetent and corrupt Britain; the cricket loving empire of India; a Taliban supporting Pakistan; a self-indulgent and self-important Malta; a hypocritical and appallingly greedy Israel; the beautiful but corrupt Italy; the backward and filthy Sicily; and certainly not old Big Ears Obama’s foolish and ignorant America; or even the hard-nosed Chinese little men in their funny suits as well as many more.

Poor old Ireland, without the murdering IRA to attract world headlines nobody seemed very interested in this small country of five million bricklayers situated west of Wales where it hardly ever stops raining.

But last week this all ended when the Irish government announced that their bail-out of the Irish banks now meant that that Irish government debt was nearly 33 per cent of GDP. Wow – half the world’s press flew in there within 24 hours.

I have been whingeing on in this column for years about the two lunatics Blair and Brown running up a deficit of 10.5 per cent of GDP in Britain.

Now don’t get me wrong those idiots completely ruined the UK economy – but my God, it looks almost responsible when compared to the Irish government’s performance.

They must have rain on the brain over in St Patrick’s backyard – like that Maltese chap who lives in Woking, near London, and occasionally writes in to this paper. Rain on the brain can be serious – so if you plan to visit either the UK or Ireland in the near future please take a hat and an umbrella and don’t spend money you don’t have.

Commonwealth Games

go ahead – despite dirt,

spit and bugs

So, despite all the bad press, the Commonwealth Games were opened on time by Prince Charles. However, some quite senior competitors from England and elsewhere have given the games a miss – fearful of the lack of hygiene and comfort.

Well, if I had a chance to represent my country there, I would have paid my own passage and, if necessary, slept in a field. Moreover, I would have come home with a medal. Why? Because I’m a British Empire boy and was brought up to do just that. Enough said I think.

Man on flight out of Malta is detained under the Mental Health Act at Gatwick

A tourist, who insisted that he loved Bugibba, was taken into police custody on his arrival at Gatwick airport suspected of being drunk. When he passed a breath test he was detained under the Mental Health Act. A police doctor commented that he was obviously out of his mind.