Almost every week we hear of a news story in which relatives end up in court because they have resorted to physical violence. And almost invariably the aggression would be as a result of one of two things: either uncontrollable jealousy or a fight over money. When the people involved are a couple it is often a mixture of both.

This week, two brothers were charged with trying to seriously injure their third brother over a dispute involving their family’s field in Rabat. Now we can sneer and mock because they happen to be farmers but really, feuds such as these often occur wherever there is money or property at stake. Different families simply act out their aggression in different ways, that’s all. These brothers used their fists; other brothers might use their lawyers in high powered court cases that drag on for years, preventing either party from enjoying the property which is under dispute.

What is worse is that the fallout from malicious, conniving behaviour towards one’s flesh and blood has repercussions on all the branches of the family tree. We all know of relatives who are not on speaking terms and who have cut off all ties with each other over inherited property, for example, on which they cannot agree. The rows of empty houses and flats left to fall to bits that can be seen all over the island are often the result of such disputes. How many times have we heard of cases where siblings refuse to compromise over the sale of a property and who would prefer to see it rot than allow their brothers or sisters to inherit a single cent? Sometimes it wouldn’t be the actual property which is the issue, but there would be a list of long festering slights and perceived insults over the years which then manifest themselves in this way: “I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him get any money out of this, not after the way he treated me!”

Sometimes it would be because one sibling feels that he/she was the one who took care of the ailing parent the most, and thus, by right, deserves the largest share of the pie. So, in a classic case of cutting off their nose to spite their face, some people prefer not to sell a property in order to get back at a sibling, even if it means that they too would be losing out.

Battling couples have even more at stake, of course, because the property would have been the family home so the emotions involved are even more acute. If one of the parties involved has been cheated on, then the house becomes the ultimate prize in a vicious, bloody fight to the finish where no mercy is shown and no inch is given. This is war, baby, and now you’re gonna’ pay.

What’s in it for me?

All these thoughts ran through my head when I read Tonio Borg’s passionate plea during the PN General Council about the Nationalist Party wanting to “safeguard its democratic and Christian values.” Well, the party can try and safeguard whatever it likes, but when it comes to the rest of the population, can I just point out that that particular ship has well and truly sailed? Mr Borg was speaking in the context of the dreaded D-word, of course, leading me to wonder how on earth the PN can be described as a liberal party with a statement like that.

Let us examine this statement in its wider sense, however: if we take this concept of Demo-Christian values to cover all our behaviour, does the PN genuinely believe that these values actually still exist?

If you set aside a few pockets of people who are honestly doing something to help others (without expecting something in return), I would say that over three-quarters of the nation has become completely self-absorbed and materialistic.

In the UK in the 1980s, the Thatcher years gave birth to the “Me” generation, and the yuppies who were only concerned with making lots of money as quickly as possible. In Malta, because we are always lagging some 20 or 30 years behind, this egotistic mentality has finally caught up with us too. I would say that from the 1990s to the present, we have spawned a generation which is only out for Number One. Their parents, who grew up with the sparse grocery shelves of the Mintoff years, have bent over backwards to ensure their children have it all, in the mistaken belief that having things can compensate for having character. Then they moan that their kids are ungrateful and inconsiderate brats who do not appreciate what has been done for them.

The parents too, are often money-grubbing themselves; perhaps as a violent reaction to the years when there was not much choice in consumer goods, they have hurled themselves into a frenzy of buying whatever they can lay their hands on. To do this they have had to make making money their life’s goal… but how much is enough? They shrug and quote Wallis Simpson who claimed you can never be too rich (or too thin).

When money becomes your god, even at the expense of family, then it is not too surprising that we hear so many stories of people coming to blows and taking each other to court. That is the kind of society we have become, and like it or not the blame can only be laid at the feet of the politicians who have been ruling the roost for the past 20 years.

For if Labour is (rightly) blamed for encouraging the nanny state mentality, then surely the Nationalists are the only ones to blame for encouraging the prevalent materialistic mentality. The acquisition of wealth, power and “things” has become the main over-riding concern in too many people’s minds, and if they have to ride roughshod over family and friends to achieve it, so be it.

I often wonder whether they stop to think that they are mere mortals who can keel over, dead from a heart attack any minute, and that no amount of riches, property and investments are going to prevent this from happening? For no matter how much they fight and battle to prevent anyone else from touching what they have accumulated, in the end, the cliché is true: you can’t take it with you.

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