Since the anti-depressants Seroxat and Prozac can cause unwelcome side effects, I decided to write this letter instead. Although you only have my word for it, what follows is the truth and nothing but.
I am the caretaker of my brother’s Xemxija flat (he works abroad), as well as the letterbox. Last August, I opened his latest water and electricity bill, which, compared to the average consumption of previous months, was almost three times as much. For various reasons, I was unable to go to the place for about a fortnight and so missed the deadline of five working days from the meter reader’s visit within which period one can pass on the readings telephonically. And so an “estimated” bill was computed. I sent ARMS Ltd an email of protest on 19 August and received a reply (sent on Sunday, 26 September) informing me that I could arrange for the meter reader to come over once again, at a charge. The appointment was fixed for 25 November. However, around the middle of that month, my wife received a call on her mobile phone from ARMS Ltd telling us that the agreed to date was too close to the normal meter-reading activity that takes place in early December. Tough luck then if you know you’re going to be abroad at the time. After further enquiries, Customer Care told me that I could always fill in a form in order to receive a communication notifying me of the exact day of the meter-reader’s visit.
At least this way I’d avoid future heartache and despair, I thought to myself. I felt uplifted. Alas, I was soon brought down to earth again by this unfriendly fellow at the meter reading section who categorically assured me that I was given the wrong information. You see, the damned form doesn’t apply to Xemxija because this St Paul’s Bay suburb is designated a summer residential area (villeggjatura) by the powers-that-be and meter readers do not contact villeggjatura residents before their scheduled call. A letter is posted instead. Such warped logic leaves you with no alternative but to conclude that Xemxija is utterly deserted in autumn, winter and spring.
During the first week of December, like a bolt from the blue, my wife got a call from another women who said: “The meter reader won’t be calling at the residence indicated because of the festive season. Expect your water and electricity meters to be read some time in January.”
Wonder of wonders, however, a heaven-sent friend and resident of the same apartment block then rang us up with this bit of news: “Guess what? The meter reader called on 15 December. But don’t worry, I gave him your readings too.”
The ‘S’ at the end of the acronym probably stands for Service.
Martin Bugeja
BALZAN