Though I believe in divorce for all those whose marriages must dissolve for good reason, I believe that prevention is better than cure. First and above all we must thank God for in Malta we have many strong and healthy marriages.

The credit for these healthy families, though not perfect and so subject to mistakes, goes to unselfishness, understanding, caring, honesty, support, forgiveness, maturity, compatibility, commitment and good communication between spouses, and also the organisations which help to keep marriages strong. I strongly believe that a healthy and happy marriage is the foundation stone of our society.

The beginning of that lifelong, joyful healthy marriage starts on that first day you meet the person with who you start a relationship that leads to marriage. Always think positive; your relationship strengths are built on the positive aspects of your relationship. Though you are likely to have different views of your couple strengths, sharing your different perspectives will help you understand each other and you will create a more long-lasting relationship.

I strongly recommend engaged couples to take pre-marriage courses by Cana Movement. These courses consist of interesting talks on various topics for healthy marriages. Talks by experts will help you grow in life and build a strong character to challenge those difficulties which will surely arise in married life.

These courses offer the engaged couple an occasion to meet other young couples and together discuss and share ideas. An experienced couple who have something to offer are within each group.

Marriage preparation courses for April – May 2011, are held in various localities. For more information and to participate, call Cana Movement on 2123-8942 – 2123-8068.

A strong and healthy marriage needs communication, without it, a marriage is on the rocks. Make time to listen to each other.

Praise your spouse as much as possible, this will highlight the positive things that attracted you.

Give your spouse the same attention and priority you gave when you were dating.

Balancing your closeness is an important aspect. Too close may become too dependent, while too little closeness may lead spouses to become disconnected. A verbal argument can be healthy for a relationship; the spouses here are showing interest in the relationship. Never spend more than what you earn. Spouses must keep in mind that we are human beings and so subject to mistakes. Don’t judge but understand. Forgiveness is very rewarding for both spouses. Kiss, hold, hug and show affection to your spouse. Sex is a natural human need; it’s wonderful and healthy, enjoy with responsibility.

Don’t be selfish, spouses are committed to meet their sexual needs, to be sexually available and responsive to each other. Lack of sex in marriage can lead to infidelity. Recreational companionship is definitely one of the most important emotional needs. Find those recreational activities which you both enjoy. Marriages do have their ups and downs and no one will ever be perfect. But the joyful couples are the ones who have learned to grow together and learn together. Being a good husband or a good wife is not a skill people have instinctively. It’s not something they are born with. It is something that is learned, as long as they are willing to learn.

Peter Grima

Sliema