It is a fallacy to argue that responsible divorce undermines the permanence of marriage. What makes a marriage a permanent one is not the word “Yes” said by the spouses on their wedding day. Nor the marriage certificate they sign.

What makes a marriage “permanent” is love, respect, commitment, compassion and compromise. When these attributes no longer exist, and worse, when instead there is hate, mistrust, adultery and physical violence, that marriage is well and truly dead.

When that situation remains the same despite efforts by the extended family or friends, or even marriage counsellors, to reconcile the spouses, the best solution is “to call a spade a spade” – that marriage has ended!

Whoever believes that such a marriage can be kept in existence, must be living in another world of make-believe!

■ Eddy Privitera

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