In their pastoral note on marriage and the family which our bishops issued on 28 August of last year, they asked the following question: “How can one reason that each member of the Church is not also responsible for the plan of God on marriage and the family?” It was precisely their fatherly plea that motivated me to jot down the subsequent reflections about marriage and the family.
We are living at a time where gospel values are being harshly challenged, partly by the pervading relativistic attitude which is assailing our traditionally Catholic society. Many are questioning the relevance of stable marriages, especially if these marital unions face serious problems. Others tend to thwart the idea of common good by falsely confusing it with utilitarianism, namely that the end of human conduct is happiness, and that consequently the discriminating norm which distinguished conduct into right and wrong is pleasure and pain.
Thus, the common good is equated not with what is objectively needed for the person but simply by what the person thinks or feels s/he will make her/him happy.
Christian faith considers marriage and the family from an objective standpoint, that is from God’s and Christ’s stance. In their pastoral letter of 15 October 2010, Bishops Paul Cremona and Mario Grech offered a direct, simply and intelligible position on God’s and Christ’s perspective on how a family should be. “Two thousand years ago, some disciples came to Jesus and asked him: ‘Can a man leave his wife for any reason whatsoever?’ Jesus’ reply was two-fold. To begin with, He referred them to the splendour of God’s plan for mankind, as reflected in the Book of Genesis: Of marriage between one man and one woman who ‘become one flesh’ and secondly, how ‘what God has put together, no man should put asunder’ (Mt 19, 5-6). They retorted that nevertheless divorce already existed. But Jesus replied that this was not part of God’s plan: “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, suffered you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Mt 19, 8). Thus, in God’s and Christ’s logic divorce is inconceivable!
Divorce is a plague since its consequences for married couples and their children are devastating. Due to divorce, husband and wife inflict a deep wound on each other, fail to keep their own word and break a vital bond. Simultaneously, they harm their children. How many children suffer over the departure of one or the other parent! It must be stressed to everyone that, thanks to his absolutely faithful love, Jesus Christ gives Christian spouses the strength of fidelity and empowers them to resist the temptation to separate, which today’s society is so prevalent and alluring.
Let us, as Maltese citizens, take to heart the heartfelt appeal which Pope Benedict XVI gave us when he addressed our youths last year in an encounter organised at the Valletta Waterfront. “Here in Malta, you live in a society that is steeped in Christian faith and values. You should be proud that your country both defends the unborn and promotes stable family life by saying no to abortion and divorce. I urge you to maintain this courageous witness to the sanctity of life and the centrality of marriage and family life for a healthy society.” By casting a no vote to divorce in the forthcoming referendum of 28 May, we shall be confirming that we are truly intimate friends of Christ. Jesus said: “If a man loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me does not keep my words; and the word which you hear is not mine but the Father’s who sent me” (Jn 14, 23-24).
It’s time to prove him right!
■ Fr Mario Attard OFM Cap
San Ġwann