Humans have diverted from their natural lifestyle and are now slaves to man made rules. God knows perfectly well that the union of a husband and wife requires a certain level of sacrifice and service for it to work well.

The first point in building a joyful marriage is to recognise that every marriage evolves over time. Age, experience and family impact married life significantly over a lifetime.

Some points to a joyful marriage are: focus on giving, rather than taking; look for positive activities you can do together; be willing to compromise, to forgive; remember your finest moments; live in the present, what went wrong in the past is the past, you create the present and future with your thoughts, words, and actions right now; be always patient; learn to be content with what you have.

Unavoidable stages of change occur within the marriage union. When a young couple first weds, they enjoy a honeymoon period. Different couples experience marital bliss differently. Inevitably the honeymoon wears off. Then reality sets in. After the honeymoon wears off and children begin to enter the family unit, fathers and mothers begin to adjust to a new and different set of responsibilities.

To keep one’s car in good running condition you need to, at regular intervals, see to its maintenance. It’s the same thing with our marriage. We need to work on our marriage and there is no other place like attending a Community Marriage Course which here in Malta are organised by the Cana Movement for married couples. Those who participate in these courses will benefit from talks on various topics for a heathy marriages. Advice and help are available for couple in troubled marriages.

No, divorce isn’t joy-inducing, but then neither is a corrosive marriage.

Divorce should come in only when reconciliation is no longer possible because of extenuating circumstances. No spouses should be forced to stay together because of their religious beliefs, and for the children or to keep up social appearances.

While we must do our best to stay joyfully married. I believe that of all the many courses of action or inaction, God knows which is best. An all-knowing God knows everything. No human being can possibly change the facts. No human can change the fact that God knows what course of action is best. As God does what is best, then no human can change the will of God. If God wants to do something, God will do it. If God doesn't want to do something, God won't do it. An eternal being, all-powerful, and perfect, God knows what is best.

Peter Grima

Sliema