The latest case of a man charged with attempting to kill his estranged wife has once again highlighted just how defenceless a woman really is when there is a violent man in her life.

The man, who is being held in custody, stabbed his wife six times with a pen knife in the neck, chest and back last week, and she is still in critical condition. He also seriously injured his mother-in-law. Shortly before the incident the court had ordered him not to come into contact with his wife, but as has happened before in other violent episodes, this court order was hardly a deterrent.

The fact remains that, on such a small island, a violent person can easily hunt you down, stalk you for months and find an opportunity to attack you anyway. There is little that a potential victim can do other than be more vigilant and not allow herself to be in a situation where the abuser has the upper hand. This also means, however, that the person under threat will probably be living in constant fear that the violent husband or boyfriend is lurking around the corner, ready to pounce. It is no wonder that so many women are loath to follow through on domestic violence charges against the attacker when the case comes to court. What’s the use of a court order when one is dealing with someone whose rage and fury know no bounds? If he doesn’t care that he is breaking the law when he hits her, why should he care that he will flout the law by breaking the court order?

The infamous YouTube video which was doing the rounds a few months ago, showing a man savagely beating a woman is a classic example of this. Despite the video evidence, the woman dropped the charges, much to the disbelief of public opinion. However, anyone who has had close contact with such cases will understand her reasoning: He will come after me, more enraged than ever, for having the temerity to file charges.

The only answer one can give to girls and women is to be more aware of what type of man they are getting involved with. Traces of controlling behaviour are the first signs which should ring loud alarm bells, followed by abusive language and destruction of property. It does not take long for a man to move from calling you offensive names, to breaking furniture, to throwing things at you, to actually hitting you with his fist, or stabbing you.

Any woman who has suffered from domestic violence usually recounts how it all started with verbal emotional abuse and the calling of names. Young girls especially should be educated continuously about the pitfalls of having a very domineering boyfriend who already interferes with how she spends her time, who she spends her time with, and even what she wears.

Domestic violence always starts with what seem like trivial things, but these are things which have a way of escalating into serious repercussions as the relationship develops into marriage.

Let us try to stem this problem at its roots – before we hear of another woman laying in the hospital in critical condition as a result of stab wounds.