Father’s Day is a sweet reminiscence of how much our lives have been blessed by our fathers. Honouring fatherhood and paternal bonds is a justifiable tribute to the fathers’ contribution for the betterment of our society. As many might have already noticed this important occasion is celebrated on the third Sunday of June. It essentially complements Mother’s Day festivity.
An unknown goes: “Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad”. To be father is a biological consequence of generating an offspring but to be a dad is a call to lovingly nurture a child. To put it in another way, what makes a father a dad is not merely his paternal natural instinct but his deep spiritual insight of being a father. It is obvious that nature greatly aids nurture in this regard. But, and this is one of the paramount problems of our age, how come that we have people feeling hurt by the manner they were brought up by their fathers? How many claim that their fathers abandoned them when they really craved for their paternal support? Or that they have actually been reared up by dictators rather than by caring fathers? In a nutshell, Father’s Day is calling for an authentic spirituality of fatherhood to be urgently promoted both at the societal as well as ecclesial level!
Jesus’ relationship with his Father is the paradigmatic model of what a dad should be for his children. Jesus Christ, the Word Incarnate drew his strength to perform the mighty deeds he did from his child-like relationship with God the Father. He was capable of listening to his Father’s will. On the other hand, the latter’s utter trust in his Son was never lacking.
We all know that only God is perfect. However some practical suggestions may help a disheartened father to become a caring Dad for his children. In effect, I would like to present the following tangible proposals.
If you would like to be a Dad your children would very much like to love and admire try to enjoy your God-given vocation for fatherhood.
Demonstrate to your kids that you are the happiest man on earth by being their father! Another way of communicating to them this powerful liberating reality is by spending time with and be responsible for them. Hence, by playing, helping, listening and just be with your children you get to know them faster and deep and, on their turn, they will get to know you as well. You will surely be laying solid foundations for mutual trust and understanding between you, as their parent, and they, as your kids.
Since deeds are more valuable then sheer phony words it is wise that you be a man of principle before your own children. Make your decisions in their presence and take time to explain to them what motivated you to arrive at that those conclusions. Be brave enough to talk to them about the decisions you did in the past and why some of them did work out while others failed to do so. Examine your decisions by asking: “What would I want my child to do in this situation?” Heal your children by inculcating in them the never ending lesson that it is understandable that one errs in life. Both of you in fact do mistakes. What is crucial is that one learns and does his/her best to bypass them inasmuch as s/he can.
You are a father not a ruthless tyrant. So, show affection to your children. By being affectionate to your kids you not only disclose to them your hidden love but also instruct them to show genuine affection to other people. Respecting your children’s mother is fundamental. In effect, children will mirror their parent’s behaviour. The way you behave with your child’s mum will undoubtedly determine the manner in which the child will regard his/her own role when s/he will enter into your parental shoes. Be brave to stress your thoughts as parent since they are similarly important with those of your child’s mother. As a caring Dad try to make your parenting a partnership! In their eagerness to show their parental authority some fathers tend to exaggerate. Therefore, it is wise not to put excessive demands on your children but rather encourage them to acknowledge their desires and evaluate their abilities together with their constraints.
It is highly motivating when you assist your children in drawing up attainable goals and offer them viable suggestions to achieve them.
Children need to work out hard for their life progress. So, never place unrealistic expectations on yourself to the point of taking the blame for certain weaknesses that may have impaired your children’s development. Finally, recognize that your fatherhood vocation is a lifelong unfinished journey. Whilst it is necessary to strengthen your kids’ character by letting them be financially and emotionally independent it is likewise significant to pass on to them the message that you are constantly caring for them and that they are loved and treasured unconditionally by you.
The father’s greatness is powerfully portrayed when he is on his knees in prayer! In this happy occasion I would like to offer the following Father’s Day Prayer as a Father’s Day gift to all the readers who happen to be fathers. “Lord, I need your special care. Like your earthly father, Joseph, I want to do God’s will, even if I may not always understand. Make me gentle and selfless in the care of my family and children; help me guide them in the toils and troubles, the happiness and wonders of this life. Like my Father in heaven, make me strong in love and forgiveness for those you entrust to my care. No one can do these things rightly, Lord, without your constant help and boundless mercy. Be with me always, and may I come to you in heaven, and all my family with me. Amen”.
It is my fervent prayer and hope that these reflections may help you, dear father, become that special person called Dad!
Happy Father’s Day to all of you!