I suppose it was to be expected that discussion of the Greek debt crisis would be, in Malta, reduced to talk of Joseph Cuschieri’s utterly stupid comment on using leverage to get our sixth seat in the European Parliament. He thinks of that seat as his, not Malta’s – perhaps because almost every newsroom on the island insists on calling him a Member of the European Parliament, when he is nothing of the sort. Joseph Cuschieri is just Joseph Cuschieri. If he doesn’t have a seat then he’s not an MEP.

You’d think that what is happening in Greece has nothing to do with us as we roll along in our cosy cocoon, turning the loss of parking-space into a national crisis, complaining about the Park and Ride scheme, playing hunt the grave-robbers and going all Great Aunt Maude because Snoop Dogg ignored reporters for hours and then called one of them nigger, reminding him where he stands on the colour charts, which he appears not to have liked one bit.

It is as though we are in the European Union but somehow detached from it, 200 miles from Tripoli but on the other side of the planet. Despite the high rate of internet use – or perhaps because it is used mainly for Facebook and chatting – we live in a tiny world of our own, perfectly illustrating why the words isolated and insular come from the Italian and Latin for island. Why, even when we chat on Facebook, we chat to other Maltese, people we’ve seen only that same morning at the school gates or last night at a party.

Greece about to collapse, throwing the Eurozone into chaos? “Sorry, I haven’t heard about that and I don’t know what’s happening there. I did hear something on the news, but I’m more concerned with whether or not buses are going to drive down Sliema’s new pedestrian area.”

“Oh, is the war still on in Libya? I haven’t heard anything about it for a while. Insomma, j’Alla kollox jigi ghall-gid. But to be honest, I’m more concerned about all those illegal immigrants we’re getting because of the fighting in Libya. Where are we going to put them all? It’s true that you hardly ever see black people in Malta, but I still think there must be thousands of them somewhere, hiding or in camps.”

And on it goes. Now Greece has at last taken on board a fresh tranche of austerity measures which the EU and International Monetary Fund have tied to an aid package. Without this aid - €8.7 billion from the EU and €3.3 billion from the IMF – Greece will run out of money within days and default on its massive debts. The aid was signed off last night after the Greek parliament finally voted in favour of the austerity measures, without which it would not have received any help. Yet despite the imminent reality of destitution, those in favour outnumbered those against by just 17 of the 300 MPs.

This is not the only money that is going to be put Greece’s way. The entire bailout package amounts to €110 billion and has been the cause of much resentment in the rest of the European Union, which has to rescue Greece, rather than cutting it loose, to save itself. The aid package was agreed in May last year, but the conditions were made very clear: unless Greece slashes spending across the board, and makes serious changes, then it is getting nothing.

Many Greek politicians appear to think they have leverage in that the EU will not allow Greece to fail because it cannot afford to do so, and so they need not slash and burn deep into the welfare state and the overburdened public sector payroll. But other European states are themselves heavily pressed economically and have dug in their heels about the conditions. Yet still there was relief all round when news came of the Greek parliament’s vote, because had it voted against the measures, the choice for the European Union would have been dealing with the total collapse of Greece or going back on its word and handing out the money regardless, extending the problem like giving endless supplies of money to a profligate and irresponsible relation.

Showing just how cut off we are from the real worries and actual news, as we concern ourselves instead with dead dogs and Jesmond Mugliett, even the fact that Malta is contributing €78 million to the Greek bailout has escaped the attention of the usual gOnzIpN iNtERneT horde. I might have missed the comments and the news stories, but I didn’t notice the usual litany of shredded reasoning telling Wenz and Tonio to keep the €78 million to subsidise water and electricity, and that charity begins at home. Somehow, I don’t think it’s because the internet elves understand the consequences of not bailing Greece out.

I think it’s because they haven’t noticed and are still bleating on their Facebook walls about inconsequential matters instead. While they agitate about the dog called Star and 62 parking spaces at the Sliema ferries, the threatened collapse of Greece, with the inevitable consequences for the entire Eurozone, would have swept through the Maltese economy harder and faster than anything we have ever seen. And when you’ve lost your job, suddenly those parking-spaces don’t seem that important anymore.

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