The world-renowned Greek philosopher, a student of Plato and teacher of Alexander the Great, Aristotle said: “What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies.”
This remark from one of the major exponents of classical antiquity made me realise the importance of having a friend. The latter is indeed a huge asset in my life since s/he enriches my existence with an incomparable joy. Again, the great Aristotle is on the scene thanks to his sharp observation: “Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.”
Genuine friendship is a safety haven for relief especially in the harshest moments of trials. The Roman philosopher and statesman Marcus Tullius Cicero stated: “Thus nature has no love for solitude, and always leans, as it were, on some support; and the sweetest support is found in the most intimate friendship.” He seems to be confirming what the biblical book of Ecclesiastes rightly pointed out some eight centuries before. “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up” (Qoh 4, 9-10). Cicero and Ecclesiastes agree that no one can stand on his/her own without an appropriate friendly companionship!
Monasticism has never betrayed its calling from being Christ’s beacon of light into human relationships. In effect, the medieval English writer and abbot of Rievaulx, Saint Aelred, wrote a magnificent treatise around the year 1160 about spiritual friendship called De spiritali amicitia. In this spiritual masterpiece, Aelred says that friendship is both a unique and a precious kind of relationship which requires attentiveness and care. Hence, friendship is a special kind of love. The abbot of Rievaulx gives the following detailed description of the indescribable gift of friendship.
“Friendship is mutual harmony in affairs human and divine… I think the word ‘amicus’ (friend) comes from the word ‘amor’ (love), and ‘amicitia’ (friendship) from ‘amicus’. For love is a certain ‘affection’ of the rational soul whereby it seeks and eagerly strives after some object to possess it and enjoy it. Having attained its object through love, it enjoys it with a certain interior sweetness, embraces it and preserves it… Furthermore, a friend is called a guardian of love… It is fitting that my friend be a guardian of our mutual love…, (to) cure and endure such defects as he may observe… rejoice with his friend in his joys, and weep with him in his sorrows, and feel as his own all that his friend experiences... Friendship... is that virtue by which spirits are bound by ties of love and sweetness, and out of many are made one...”
Within the Christian understanding, the single soul out of which the many are made one is Trinitarian love. The Trinitarian God is the core of true friendship. The French philosopher and social activist, Simone Weil, writes: “Pure friendship is an image of the original and perfect friendship that belongs to the Trinity and is the very essence of God.
“It is impossible for two human beings to be one while scrupulously respecting the distance that separates them, unless God is present in each of them. That point at which parallels meet is infinity.”
■ Fr Mario Attard OFM Cap