I start this article by using the title of this popular song made famous by Gloria Gaynor in 1979 and still living on as an essential element in a number of gatherings which include music.

I chose this song title because it provides an appropriate introduction to the subject of this article, the development of resilience. I would like to present a few thoughts on this subject because, since resilient people are seen to be better able to cope with the adversities which life throws at them, resilience is a valuable quality to develop. This article looks at this developmental process briefly.

First I was afraid, I was petrified

This line of lyrics describes an experience familiar to most people, where they feel threatened, afraid. The spectrum of situations which fall under this category is vast and many people would even assert that modern life is, in itself, risky. A glimpse at issues which regularly appear in the media today - such as those concerned with the environment, conflict in different parts of the world, and so on - confirms this. Also, if we look at life in postmodern society, with the expectations which it imposes on its citizens, with the frantic pace necessary to meet these expectations, and with traditional value systems losing their influence and not being replaced by other reference points, to mention but a few factors, it becomes evident that living life today can be scary. It can become petrifying if other elements - such as health issues, poverty, discrimination, abuse, addiction, and other social problems - are thrown into the equation.

Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side

When people feel afraid or threatened, one of the common reactions is to look for sources of support. This is immediately evident when observing children’s behaviour when they face a situation which evokes anxiety in them. Automatically, they turn to the person looking after them for support. Although children show this reaction very clearly, it is definitely not exclusive to them and most people, I am sure, can think of a number of occasions when they sought support from somebody in times of stress.

And then I spent so many nights just thinking how you did me wrong

Stressful situations can have different outcomes. One possibility is succumbing to the stress and giving up. Sometimes, however, as people start reflecting on these situations, they become angry, often because they involve an injustice. Their anger could be compounded by the fact that the injustice might have been committed by a person of trust. Examples include abuse by a member of the family or domestic violence. The person needs to find a way of dealing with the anger and other feelings which might have been evoked, some very strongly, and this processing takes place both at a conscious and at an unconscious level. As a result, the person could emerge either defeated or better able to cope with adversity in the future. Whatever the outcome, these experiences leave their mark on the individual. They could transform persons going through them, for example, into someone continually carrying a chip on his or her shoulder, into an angry person or into someone mistrustful of people around them. But this anger could also be a protective shield and could, if worked through, make them better able to deal with adversity.

I grew strong; I learnt how to get along

This process, whereby people become better able to deal with adversity, could be seen as a difficult form of development of maturity. As people struggle to cope with life expectations, with painful experiences, with difficult situations, a number of them learn how to face adversity and come out stronger as a result. These people develop resilience, which facilitates the establishment of a sense of coherence in their lives. They thus become better able to deal with difficult situations they face. To have this quality, without becoming bitter, can greatly enhance a person’s functioning. Finding appropriate support, either in the development of resilience or in the aftermath of a stressful experience or series of experiences, can minimise the possibility of bitterness. The person can learn, “how to get along” in a more socially acceptable manner. And this is what all of us probably aspire to, with resilience being an enhancing aspect of our personality.

Conclusion

The lyrics of the song I will survive continue talking about a love-story gone wrong. However, resilience is applicable to coping with a much wider spectrum of experiences. And it is not dependent on age. Its development is a process which will be influenced by a person’s personality and perspective on life and how to live it. It is a quality which, once developed, should be treasured and could protect the person against some of the overwhelming effects of stressful situations.

There are a number of children and young persons who face difficult situations early on in their life and find themselves having to become resilient. Especially at a younger age, despite resilience being such a valuable quality, its development can be a lonely process. This is particularly true of those children and young persons who have lost the support of the persons closest to them, their family.

Aġenzija Appoġġ is implementing the Out of Home Care Programme to support children and young persons in these situations. Should you be interested in providing support for these children and young persons to develop resilience within your family environment, please make contact with us on 2295-9000 or by e-mail on [email protected].

Pat Bonello, Service Manager, Out of Home Care Programme, Aġenzija Appoġġ

Aġenzija Appoġġ (www.appogg.gov.mt) forms part of the Foundation for Social Welfare Services (www.fsws.gov.mt), which also incorporates Aġenzija Sedqa (www.sedqa.gov.mt) and Aġenzija Sapport (www.sapport.gov.mt).