When, a few years ago, my son came home from football training and announced that his ambition was to become Milan’s goalkeeper, I quietly explained to him that while it was good to have dreams and aspirations, not all of them could come true.

Some dreams are more difficult to realise than others. In this particular case, I told him, only one out of a thousand (probably more) goalkeepers made it and he had to face an even bigger disadvantage because he did not live in Italy and came from a nation with little history in football.

For many weeks and months he kept on insisting that he would make it, and each time I patiently encouraged him to do his best at the football nursery – for a time I even registered him into a goalkeepers’ school so as not to hold him back – but told him that he should be realistic. He had – and has – other talents that he could work on and although I am sure that he will succeed, there is a limit to what one can achieve in life.

It took him quite a long time to realise that his dream would remain just a dream, and that he can be an achiever in other areas of life. So today we just watch the Milan games on TV together, while planning to go to the San Siro stadium to watch our favourite team live.

I could understand him. After all, his dream was similar to mine when I was a young boy – although in my case I fancied taking over from Franco Baresi in the heart of the defence – but I too had realistic parents who always supported me, but never led me to believe that everything I wanted could be achieved.

For this I thank them – as I hope one day my son will thank me.

When I used to go to watch my son play, I really did not like other parents who thought their kids could grow up to be the new Lionel Messi and egged them on without letting them enjoy themselves just playing football. I heard many of them shout obscenities at their own son for making the wrong move or for shooting wide or, worse, telling them to break their opponent’s leg if he dribbled past them. It was disgusting.

Having great skills at the age of 10 in a Maltese football nursery will not necessarily lead to a great football career in Malta, much less abroad; just as much as being tall by Maltese standards and playing basketball will not land a Maltese child in the NBA.

I am not the perfect parent, and I have made mistakes too, but I have adopted this philosophy with my children because while naturally wanting them to be happy and reach their goals, I feel that as their guardian I must guide them in a way that enables them to understand their potential just as much as they should understand their limitations.

I am not the kind of parent who wants his children to be the best. But neither do I do want them to be a burden on society – in any way. For example, I do not want them to rely on social services, but would like to see them have a decent job with decent earnings that makes them self-sufficient. This is why I encourage them to study as much as they can before looking for a job. No more, no less.

There is another, more important reason why I have taken this approach. In my adult life, and in my profession, I have come across many people who believe they are God’s gift to mankind and that the world would be an inferior place without them – and they unashamedly go about announcing it in whatever they are doing.

The parents of these people – politicians, union leaders and whatnot – probably never realised the damage they were causing their own children in the way they were bringing them up.

Parents who never admonish their children, heap upon them constant praise and never seek to make them understand that we live in a world of give and take are responsible for the spoilt adults into which their children grow up. We have quite a few examples of them these days.

When children try to spoil their peers’ games just because they do not like the rules, they are exposing a behavioural problem that should be addressed immediately. They should not be mollycoddled and told that they are the best children, but told to respect what others are saying.

When a little boy acts like a dictator and is not rebuked, then he will grow up believing that he can be a dictator in adult life too. When that same boy is only happy when he is winning, but runs off with the ball when his team is losing, he should be made to understand that in life you cannot win them all.

The problem becomes even bigger when these children grow into adults who lead a public life and try to impose their views on others – always believing that they know best and that any opinion other than theirs is worthless. When the actions and words of these bullies come at the expense of others’ wellbeing, then the situation becomes alarming.

Of course, while the personality issues of these individuals are to be blamed on the parents who do not make their child see sense from a tender age, the rest is to be blamed on other people who elect or appoint these individuals into positions of power from where they could inflict harm on society in general.

It could be that these individuals do not show their true colours before they are elected or appointed, and in a way people are tricked into showing them support.

But it would be unforgiveable if these individuals are given a second chance.

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