It is not marriage which changes us, it is children. The moment a child is born, the mother is also born… and the father too. Marie Benoit invites a handful of personalities to comment on their relationship with their mother.

Francesca Balzan and her mother Manola Masini

I grew up being told how much I resemble my mother, but at some stage the two of us started looking different. Our characters are also very different, she is the concerned mother always worrying about everyone and everything, I worry about detail instead! The great thing about my mother is that despite all evidence to the contrary she still remains convinced that I am a child at heart. This used to annoy me greatly when I was younger but I love it nowadays – how else will I convince myself I’m not growing older?

She has a great sense of humour, always ferreting out something ridiculous to laugh at even in the most solemn of circumstances. But the very best thing about my mum is the transformation that occurs when she shops. No matter how tired she is, the minute she’s out shopping she is energized, her eyes shine, sore feet are forgotten and off she goes selecting the most stylish of clothes. She is a born shopper whereas I am a reluctant one, easily bored and craving coffee before we’re through with the first shop. She bullies me into trying on clothes and sometimes persuades me away from standard black and I am the lucky beneficiary of many of her shopping trips.

I don’t get to see my parents all that often as work and my various activities keep me busy but we do message each other regularly and whenever time permits I love entertaining or being entertained by her. She enjoys sampling my wacky impromptu meals, even though she actually cooks lovely traditional food, which evokes childhood memories of days at the beach. Time has passed and she is less busy now and has more leisure time on her hands – it is wonderful to see my parents enjoying each other’s company and their healthy, active retirement. As I watch friends gradually losing their parents to sickness or death I remain grateful that I have been able to enjoy my parents’ company for so long. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but at least they can look back and say we had a good time!

Marlene Mizzi and her mother Josephine Cacciatolo

My mother, is my mother, is my mother. What more can I say? Mama is the person who taught me to fish and not just given me to eat.

My mother is a remarkably young 80 years+ lady who enjoys life to the full. She is well-travelled and well-read and keeps au courant of what is going on which of course makes her a great companion… and a very talkative one too. Mum enjoys a healthy social life and hardly misses a concert, opera or any other occasion which she considers could be fun. She still drives around in her BMW with a certain panache – she is the only elderly woman I know of, who got caught speeding on camera!

Mama and I both have strong characters and so our relationship is pretty colourful. She is infuriatingly sharp and intelligent and I never managed to get away with much. She was far stricter than our father was and even now I am a little bit afraid of her. She still considers me her little girl because according to her unique logic, this gives her “the right of an opinion” on whatever concerns me – an opinion with which, of course, I have to agree. That’s when the sparks start flying!

Mama ran the family business, as did her own mother before her. The business, always captained by a woman, is now running on fourth generation steam. In the last few years she reduced her involvement considerably but she still feels that she is the boss.

I admire her because she has remained young at heart. She takes good care of herself – she is at the hairdresser’s every week and at the nail parlour too. She loves clothes and still has a great sense of style, perhaps honed from the fact that she was in the fashion business. She is also a capable seamstress (her forte were wedding dresses). I am very proud of the fact that she has turned out a beautiful wedding dress for my daughter, Alexandra, who got married last June. But, I am particularly pleased because I knew Mama prayed that she would be given by the Almighty the time and strength to sew this special dress – and her prayers were answered.

Mama has been a very ‘present’ mother to my brother and I, and a loving Nanna Jo to her three grandchildren. Thank God for my mother.

Alexandra Mizzi and her mother Marlene

The relationship mum and I have is much more than just mother and daughter in the traditional sense of the word. My mother is my mentor, my best friend and my partner in(shopping) crime!

Although she has always been an extremely busy woman she always found the time to spend with me. When I was younger the highlight of my week used to be going to visit our shops with her on a Saturday morning and then popping out for a coffee and a window shopping spree in Valletta.

There are certainly times where we disagree, and we do argue especially since we both have extremely strong characters. She always tells me what she thinks in her inimitable straightforward way, whether it’s about the way I dress or about any professional or business decisions I have to take. She has always pushed me to be the best I can be, to aim high, and to do so with honesty and integrity, guiding me but never imposing her ideas.

We spend a considerable amount of time together, especially since three years ago I formally joined the family business as Managing Director. So my mother is not only mum, but also my boss… and she is a tough boss! However when taking business decisions we consult each other. She has delegated very important functions to me, while guiding me and teaching me the ropes. She has the experience and I have the fresh(er) ideas. We’re a great team.

We travel a lot for both business and pleasure, and it is always great fun. We share many common interests and I always look forward to going away with her. We always have such great laughs,(mum is not as serious she looks; she has great, wicked humour!) and most of all fantastic shopping sprees. However, the best shopping spree ever was certainly hunting for my wedding dress. After trying on so many dresses in a few countries and not finding what I wanted, I decide that I did not want to buy my special dress off the shelf, so I designed it myself. The shopping spree then turned into finding the right silks and accessories for The Dress which was then made stitch by stitch by my mother and fabulous grandmother.

I got married last June so I no longer live with my parents. I find that our relationship is even better now and I appreciate how inspirational my mother is. I hope that eventually when I will have a child we will have the same relationship I have with mum. I am what I am today because of her (and dad!) and am so thankful for this.

Andrei Claude and his mother Carmen Mifsud

It would be an understatement to say I’ve always had a very good

relationship with my mother. To this day I still wonder how she managed to be so versatile and accommodating at all times. I truly admire her for all that she’s done, and I’ve learnt a great deal from her.

Most of my close friends and family would probably argue that she’s not the conventional type mother, and I couldn’t agree more. She has her ways and is in no way influenced by what others say or do. That might very well be a family trait. Everything is evaluated in the present based upon reason, and for as long as I can remember we always discussed matters together in a very mature way.

We took decisions as a household and there was no form of hierarchy

at home. It didn’t seem to matter that I was just a teenager: my arguments always felt valued and were reflected in the conclusion of whatever we would be discussing.

What my mother gave me apart from her love was full access to the real

world at a young age, by never being overprotective or invasive. She gave me all the space I needed to experience life, and to discover and pursue my interests and dreams.

She respects and trusts my choices by supporting me in every single

decision I make, even when it means venturing off to the other side of the world to chase a dream. Her methods were always subtle, but I knew she was there, whatever the outcome. If I believed it was a good idea she

wouldn’t ever try to convince me otherwise. That really helped me develop a sense of responsibility and achieve a lot of confidence.

Looking back there’s no way I would have ever experienced this quality of

life without her. Aside from the self-assurance she gave me to confront every situation I came across, she was always there to provide all she could and more, to ensure I wouldn’t be deprived of anything or have any regrets in my life, and she’s certainly succeeded.

As I write this I’m also making preparations for her visit to London this

week. She’s an amazing mother, friend and a true blessing in my life. She is and will always be the closest to my heart.

Charlene Farrugia and her mother Vincenza

I feel lucky to have such a special mother. She was the one who understood my love of music from an early age, and put me onto piano lessons when I was six years old. Since I took music very seriously even in those early days this meant that school academic subjects were a second priority. She had no problems with this. I missed my Form 4 annual exams to go and perform in Philadelphia. I participated and won two piano competitions during my O’Level exams. My mother always understood my love of music, and believed that I was capable of sorting out my priorities. When I was a Sixth Form student at St Aloysius College, I once skived an English class, only to have the headmaster calling home, to inform my mum that I will be having a detention due to this. I remember that I felt really bad, but my mum took it in her stride and simply joked about it. She knew that I had missed class to go home and practice piano for a very important concert that was coming up, so she felt there was no need to be cross about it. This event helped me grow up, and realize that I was able to make decisions about my life, and to set priorities. Mind you, I never skipped another lesson!

We also share a love of fashion. She is a great dressmaker, and all my performance dresses are handmade by her. We design them together, and the end result is great.

Apart from all this, we enjoy each other’s company: we attend concerts together, dinners, and also the odd visit to the Sunday morning market in Valletta. Love you MUM!