"My name is ..., and I am an alcoholic." The standard introduction of members at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings has become a film staple, and arguably the one thing most people associate the fellowship with.

Roger (not his real name) can easily be described as one of AA's success stories. A retired businessman, he has been sober for a quarter century, and has seen his life and career improve immeasurably since then.

But it took a long and painful process to get there, he admits. Just getting to the point where he uttered the standard AA greeting took a while.

Forming the habit

It is perhaps easy to assume that alcoholism stems from a troubled background. But as Roger's experience shows, it is not always so, far from it.

Roger recounts that his family background was "very normal," and that in his teens, he had become quite the precocious student.

He took his first drink at around 14, but his relationship with alcohol grew complicated soon enough.

Roger explains that he rebelled, for some reason, at around 15-16, regularly skipping school and spending most of his time in bars, playing cards and billiards.

And drinking, of course, a habit which soon grew out of control.

"Normal people may have a couple of drinks and then stop... but to an alcoholic, one drink is not enough. A hundred aren't enough either..."

For some time, however, life proceeded relatively normally. He joined the family business after dropping out of school, married young and had two children. The first few years of his marriage, by his account, went relatively well.

But his addiction to alcohol only worsened – by his early 20s, he states, he became a full-blown alcoholic – and things started to fall apart.

There were frequent blackouts – he would completely forget important appointments, and wandering around to find out just where he'd parked the car the previous night became a regular habit. Assuming, of course, he hadn't been involved in one of his frequent car accidents instead.

For some time, his limited income does not suffice to fund his drinking habits, forcing him to find "other ways" to make ends meet.

Alcohol also left him worse for wear. He suffered from "the shakes" (delirium tremens), when he withdrew from drinking. His face became red and puffed, and he gets clubbed fingers. He also developed cirrhosis: he shudders as he states that the symptoms were "very scary."

Roger also explains that alcohol tends to make one's defects of character more pronounced, and he was no exception.

"I couldn't care less about other people, about the harm I was doing to my family and to the business."

All in all, alcoholism seems to be no different – and no less damaging – than other drug addictions, the ones typically perceived to be far more serious. The only differences Roger can point out when the point is raised are superficial: alcohol is legal, and more easily available.

Seeking help

In AA circles, "rock bottom" is generally the point where an alcoholic realises that he or she have a serious problem, one which they must address sooner rather than later.

But Roger had not reached this stage yet.

He was "lucky" enough to manage to coast through a few more years, he maintains, to continue believing that he was still in control of his life. For instance, his marriage may have been falling apart, but then again, his wife was not left wanting for material things.

As often happens in such situations, the denouement proved to be dramatic, embarrassing. And completely out of character.

"I had become violent," he confesses, adding that the police were brought in.

"I wasn't scared," he adds, "but I became aware."

Roger was in his early thirties when he attended his first AA meeting, and he quit drinking cold turkey there and then. But his story does not end here.

The long way up

Roger remained dry for 11 months, but he stresses that he was far from sober. While his health improved as the drinking stopped, his mind remained that of an addict.

He recounts that when he met fellow alcoholics at AA, he focused on their differences, not their similarities, and continued to be convinced that their problem was not his own.

Each story provided him with an opportunity to justify himself: his marriage hadn't broken down, others had worse run-ins with the law, and so on.

"I was still denying alcoholism, and this proved to be my downfall."

Roger also expected praise for his decision to stop drinking, but only got it from fellow AA members.

A relapse was inevitable, and it happened on his next birthday. And when it happened, the drinks would continue to flow for some time still.

Thankfully, he points out, he continued to attend AA meetings. He would stop drinking for weeks, even a few months, at a stretch, only to relapse yet again.

AA members suggested that he should find a sponsor – an experienced AA member who could help him through the fellowship's recovery programme – but he notes that he kept looking for someone who would tell him exactly what he wanted: that he was not an alcoholic.

This did not happen, of course. But then, finally, he truly hit the proverbial rock bottom.

Tragedy struck: he does not elaborate, but states that it lead him to accept that his life was in shambles, and strengthen his resolve to follow the AA programme through.

The AA's so-called "big book" promises returns to those who achieve sobriety: increased happiness and serenity among them.

"In various degrees, these promises have all materialised," he states, a quarter of a century on.

Adjusting to sobriety was no easy task, Roger notes, although AA helped.

His habits had to be changed considerably. For some time, he had to avoid meeting his drinking buddies, especially in bars, even though they remained firiends.

He ended up with far more free time, since he no longer spent innumerable hours "staring at a blank TV with a book, a crossword puzzle and a bottle of scotch." So he took to work, in part because he felt that he should make amends to the business, for the time lost and the money misspent.

Roger also strived to spend more time with his children, who were now in their teens.

"Adjusting takes time, but it can be done," he notes.

However. sobriety alone does not solve all of life's ills, as he admits. He also had his marital problems to address, and he and his wife ended up separating after a few years.

Roger's experiences lead him to urge people with alcohol problems – particularly the young – to tackle them as soon as possible, and avoid a lot of grief.

As he well knows, it may be hard for the young to accept that they have a drinking problem, and that they – as he did – may take the symptoms in stride.

Roger continues to attend AA meetings to this day, helping others in the same way others had helped him many years ago. Their success stories, naturally, are a source of great satisfaction.

But he is under no illusion about what could have happened if he had not sought help when he did.

"Alcoholism is a matter of life and death," he notes. He recounts a number of cases in which the outcome was the letter: sometimes a suicide, sometimes a prolonged and painful death as the physical effect of years of alcohol abuse takes its toll.

But it need not end that way.

"There is a way to stop drinking and avoid the pain that alcoholism brings... there is help out there, there is hope," he emphasises.

About Alcoholics Anonymous

Alcoholics Anonymous was founded in 1935 by Bill Wilson and Bob Smith, two recovering alcoholics, and has since established a presence in over 170 countries, including Malta.

As the name suggests, members remain anonymous, and the fellowship seeks to provide a comfortable, non-judgemental environment for people who seek to deal with their alcoholism. During meetings, members are not pressured to speak up until they are ready to.

AA suggests a 12-step recovery programme: the most difficult step, as Roger explains, is often the first: admitting that one's life has become unmanageable.

Members often stay on once sober, to help remain on track as well as to help others.

AA employs an anarchic structure, with no leadership positions. It is not connected with any other association, and no one can speak on its behalf.

There are over 100,000 AA groups across the world, including several Maltese-speaking and English-speaking groups in Malta. Each group is self-supported through voluntary donations by its members, and no outside donations are accepted.

Meetings are generally closed to "members and prospective members:" the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, although some meetings are open.

Further information, including on AA meetings which take place in Malta, can be found on aamalta.org.

Al-Anon is a related fellowship for relatives and friends of alcoholics, which can also be found in Malta. Information about Al-Anon Malta can be found on al-anon-malta.org.

EURYPAA 2013

AA Malta is organising the 2013 edition of the European Convention for Young People in Alcoholics Anonymous (EURYPAA) which will be held at the Suncrest Hotel between June 21 and 23.

The event, which will bring over hundreds of young AA members from all over Europe and beyond, will comprise a number of discussions and talks on issues related to alcoholism, as well as a number of open AA meetings.

The theme of the convention is “young, joyous and free.”

Registration for the event can be made online through eurypaa2013.org, where further information is available.

The age of new AA members is generally on a downward trend across the globe: in Malta, the youngest member was aged just 14.

So far, the number of young AA members in Malta remains low, although AA members are working to set up a group specifically for young alcoholics.